To think we have to accept that we need to use savings to fund care in old age

[LastDuchessFerrara]

My parents died before reaching old age but I'm now watching family and friends caring - in one form or another - for older relatives.

Many seem to be in denial about the fact that savings, pensions and, in some cases equity in their home, needs to be used to enable their relatives to continue to stay in their homes or go into care.

"But they've worked all their lives!" they cry in protest. Well, yes - and now that money needs to be used in their old age.

It's really focussed my mind on how any money I accumulate might not be spent on amazing holidays but paying for cleaners and carers.

I'd be interested in views but please can this not be a "boomer" bashing thread. I know plenty of impoverished old people and plenty of entitled non-boomers.

I think we do have to accept that is we will have to fund ourselves which of course means that those who are in the middle income bracket will be hit the hardest again as the state will provide for those without sufficient funds.

Savings? What fucking savings?

My DF was in a nursing home for last year of his life but it didn’t affect his savings that much
People seem to ignore income
DF had his state pension, a private final salary pension and attendance allowance - which covered most of the fees
What I didn’t realise is that 3rd party top ups are exactly what they say they are and DF wasn’t allowed to pay them himself even though he could afford to!
DB and I shared the cost in the end as we liked the home and didn’t want to try and find somewhere cheaper

I'm not British but I've lived there and me and my partner is considering moving back.

Two things (well more than that) that worry me are the nursery fees and care home fees. How many elderly people actually end up paying the £700/week. Is that the actual fee or does council pay x and then x from pension and x from benefits and you personally end up paying £100?

Where I'm from elderly care and nursery fees are progressive and based on income. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and had to go into fultime care. The council owned care home had no rooms so she went to private one but the council paid what it would cost with them (90% on pension) but grandma had to make the difference but was entitled to different living support benefits and savings. They cannot make anyone sell their house for the fees.

Our system has massive flaws so my disclaimer is that I don't think it is better. It's just different and I'm a bit worried about those fees.

Op, I think first we need to be realistic about dying and how long people want to limp on for in pain with no life quality at all.

We should firstly be able to choose... I don't want to be in an absolute shit hole, vulnerable..
Relying solely on the kindness of each individual career at the time to look after me.
I'd rather be dead and my relatives enjoying my money....

And memories of me as who I was!! It's Maddness!!

We all need to challenge this!!

My life should be mine to choose when to end it.

Re care homes we need radical over haul generaly..

Tjw, it's an area that really needs to be brought under strict government umbrella and children's care homes too.

It needs heavy regulation and checking... By special teams from government... We shouldn't be out sourcing any care to private companies like this without aggressive regulation.

Db plays golf with a care home boss who he laughs his biggest worries are what colour to respray his ferrari that week.

Silver farms.... I've got so many awful stories because I worked in one years ago and have had friends working in some, and relatives in them.

Personally I'd have camera up everywhere, in own home and pay career to come in

I agree with the OP. I'm 5 years away from getting my state pension and my work and private pensions wouldn't be sufficient for me to live on if I retired now. But my health is poor and I'm waiting for a knee replacement. There is enough equity in my house to provide enough for me to live on for several years, if I downsize. I need to downsize anyway as I'm struggling with the upkeep of my 4 bed house with large garden. So anything that I leave to my adult DC would be much less than I have now in any case. I'd rather enjoy the years I have left than carry on working for another five years. I'm thinking that I'll give up work when I have my knee replacement then downsize to a bungalow.