To not appreciate OH parents coming round now?!

[mrshunterr]

I'm working 2-11 today MIL and FIL are going to view a house round the corner form us, so are popping in after. I'm going to be working upstairs all day so I won't see them anyway. But when OH goes to to pick DS up they will just be sat downstairs.

They are our support bubble and have the kids most weekends when we're both working. OH is running round like a headless chicken now because he's been sat on his phone all morning now his mummy and daddy are coming he wants the house spotless putting unnecessary stress on me as well.

AIBU? I feel like I'm being rude sitting up stairs but I can't just come down when I'm busy.

They can be your childcare bubble, so you use them for childcare, that’s the only time you see them. Childcare bubble is NOT a social bubble for them to come and have a cup of tea

So they should not be popping in

So the virus is selective? It doesn’t transmit during childcare but it does when the same people are together for other reasons? With such complete lack of logic, no wonder people are just giving up.

The restrictions are not about stopping the things that transmit the virus most. They are about stopping things that transmit the virus when benefit of doing those things is taken into account.

In the case of a childcare bubble, the benefit to a working parent of having childcare is deemed to be acceptable in terms of the risk of transmission. There is no economic benefit to meeting someone to have a cuppa so that's not allowed. (and exceptions are made for those who are vulnerable or who live on their own etc as there is a greater social benefit).

If we were solely trying to reduce viral spread, we would not be talking about opening up schools as one of the first things - schools are hotbeds of possible viral transmission.

It amazes me that we're nearly a year in and people still don't get this.

NO the virus is not selective which is why we should be keeping contacts to an absolute minimum. It can and will transmit during childcare, so if the child care isn't necessary, don't have the contact

And if the childcare is necessary, keep contact to a minimum, ie don't sit around chatting before and after handing over DC. Don't kiss and hug hello and goodbye. Don't hand out refreshments.

Childcare bubbles were introduced to allow working parents to continue to work. Not to facilitate people visiting friends and relatives as normal 'but its OK because we're a bubble'.

You are not supposed to socialise with them.... why do people always feel the need to bend rules?! My mum has my son once a week when I am at work. She doesn't enter my home and I don't enter hers. My son goes into her house and I pick him up outside her house. That is what a childcare bubble is. Not coffee afternoons!

The virus is not selective.

ANY mixing is a risk.

But some mixing is necessary in order for any life at all to continue eg. childcare to allow a parent to work.

Any essential mixing should be kept to the absolute minimum required to accomplish whatever that mixing was for.

Lees time, greater distance, fewer contacts = less risk.

Really, really not hard to understand.

It’s not allowed OP. You can’t have people pop round for coffee and you can’t pop round to theirs. Whether you join them or even just say hi is irrelevant. It shouldn’t be happening at all.

The longer people think the rules don’t apply to them and their relatives, the longer those of us who follow the rules don’t get to see ours. Childcare bubbles are for essential or unavoidable need for childcare not a wee visit with the grandparents or so mum and dad can have a shag. Support bubbles are for those who literally have no other options not just social support, Netflix and a wee glass of wine with a mate...

What is it with people not getting this?

Some people really struggle to understand the concept of minimising risk.

It's tedious.

Your in laws who mind your kids every weekend are popping in as they'll be around the corner and you're going to stay upstairs and ignore them.

That's actually batshit.

Honestly, who in the real world goes on like that.

How fucking rude.

I'm assuming the OP has a child under 1 as you can have a support bubble in that circumstance. If it's just a childcare bubble then no, they can't come in and socialise with the adults.

That aside, I would be unhappy with it too. Let your DH know you are working and won't be going downstairs to entertain the in-laws.

They already have our kids we already drop the kids off and pop in on the weekends. We have more risk picking Covid up from the food shopping. No one goes to work everyone is at home so I'm not worried about that.

I start work at 2 they will be here around 3 I can't just come downstairs my break isn't until 4. I'm just going to have to carry on working and leave them downstairs it is what it is.

Look in quickly, apologise and then get on with work. Let DH worry about tidying up. It will do him good.

Ive always tried to be hard and strict about the fact that I WAH. Before I became self employed I WAH as an academic several days a week. Had a needy neighbour once who thought I was available for her to chat with. No - WAH is still WORK and you would not be able to contact me if I was at my office in the uni.

I get the needing to work and thats fine.

But not sure why in your OP you are being snippy about mummy and daddy and PP are being rude and unecessary about them.

They have your kids every weekend!

I'm pretty sure the government are running a social experiment. "How stupid can we make the rules before people stop blindly following them?", harvest results from Mumsnet.

Engage brains please - the OP's IL's are already providing childcare. Close contact, inside for hours at a time. If they have covid, the OP's family will get covid. It makes absolutely NO difference if they come inside the house.

They already have our kids we already drop the kids off and pop in on the weekends. We have more risk picking Covid up from the food shopping. No one goes to work everyone is at home so I'm not worried about that.

They still shouldn’t be coming in. It’s against the rules, fgs.

@mrshunterr

They already have our kids we already drop the kids off and pop in on the weekends. We have more risk picking Covid up from the food shopping. No one goes to work everyone is at home so I'm not worried about that.

I start work at 2 they will be here around 3 I can't just come downstairs my break isn't until 4. I'm just going to have to carry on working and leave them downstairs it is what it is.

Of course you have to work, and they need to accept that.

I wfh, and (assuming no Covid) I would not be letting people in for a cuppa if I was in my working hours. I make sure family and friends know my hours.

I've popped out for coffees with people when on lunch breaks, but not in my actual working time.

Where is OH picking DS up from if you are both working from home and he is not with PIL for childcare.

Sure, never mind that you're not worried about catching covid. You are still breaking the rules! The rules are the rules. You are blatantly breaking them and feel it is ok because you have more risk catching it from the super market.

@dontdisturbmenow

So they liny babysit for you when it suits you. But you can't take a 5mns break to say hello and have brief chat?

How nice of you!

Yeah, we all have jobs where we can just pop out for 5 minutes to talk to the in-laws. 5 minutes for the bathroom is hard enough to manage most days for some people, nevermind a mindless chat with people who shouldn't even be coming to your house atm.

@yvanka

I'm pretty sure the government are running a social experiment. "How stupid can we make the rules before people stop blindly following them?", harvest results from Mumsnet.

Engage brains please - the OP's IL's are already providing childcare. Close contact, inside for hours at a time. If they have covid, the OP's family will get covid. It makes absolutely NO difference if they come inside the house.

Absolutely. It really makes you appreciate the need for teaching critical reasoning, logic and risk assessment in school. But who would teach it?

@yvanka

I'm pretty sure the government are running a social experiment. "How stupid can we make the rules before people stop blindly following them?", harvest results from Mumsnet.

Engage brains please - the OP's IL's are already providing childcare. Close contact, inside for hours at a time. If they have covid, the OP's family will get covid. It makes absolutely NO difference if they come inside the house.

Agree. As if people in the real world would let their ILs take the kids every weekend but make them stand outside to wait for the husband to come back

@dontdisturbmenow

So they liny babysit for you when it suits you. But you can't take a 5mns break to say hello and have brief chat?

How nice of you!

If the op was in the office she wouldn’t be able to pop home to say hello to visiting in-laws, why is it any different just because she works from home? And I assume you would hold her dh to the same standards of behaviour if op arranged a visit from her dp’s during his working hours?

I completely understand op, if they are anything like my dpil or my dm for that matter, it would be extremely difficult to slip away after a brief 5 minute chat. Much simpler to continue working and stay out of the way. If they want the pleasure of your company they can always visit outside working hours.

I would pop my head round the door say hello , explain you are working and then disappear upstairs.
Not sure on rules on childcare bubbles but you cant expect them.to be available just for your own convenience ,so I would say hello. They can take you as they find you ,thou if DH wants to clean/ tidy that could be an advantage as long as he knows you cant help as youre working.

@Howshouldibehave

Is a support bubble different to a childcare one?

Yes

Childcare bubble is for working parents who now don't have school/wraparound care etc while they work

@EveryoneRevealsThemselves read the guidelines yourself... you don't have to be the only adult in your household to have a support bubble, there are a few reasons you can have one.

Are the PILs potentially moving to a house around the corner? Are you ok with that, OP?