To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

"Miss is a bit fuzzy", would you insist he meant that his teacher was actually furry or something in real life? No of course not, because that would be utterly ridiculous.*

I agree. It is the “Miss A looks like a [insert noun]” that for me moves it to a comment on the teacher’s appearance. He is no longer commenting on the interface there, but the person. He probably didn’t mean to, but there we are.

AStudyinPink clearly doesn’t know when to stop digging.
Humility is in very short supply with yer one.

As many people have explained, pixelation only occurs to objects/people that are in motion. So, the whole screen wasn't pixelated just the teacher.

Then he was commenting on just the teacher. As I said.

He could have said “I can’t see you, Miss X, it’s the connection.”

He was clearly going for a little comedy for his peers. And okay, some people might say, “So what?” But I suspect there are much clearer rules than that and (as the OP says) he knows them, and this didn’t follow them.

@AStudyinPink

"Miss is a bit fuzzy", would you insist he meant that his teacher was actually furry or something in real life? No of course not, because that would be utterly ridiculous.*

I agree. It is the “Miss A looks like a [insert noun]” that for me moves it to a comment on the teacher’s appearance. He is no longer commenting on the interface there, but the person. He probably didn’t mean to, but there we are.

FFS. Weren't you leaving?

AStudyinPink clearly doesn’t know when to stop digging

People sound extremely arrogant when they think someone else’s opinion is “digging” because it doesn’t happen to coincide with theirs. We disagree, is all.

ReplacementPlasticUterus

Well, I didn’t.

@AStudyinPink

You agreed with the teachers interpretation of him saying she was hot and up for sex. It isn't other posters dirty minds that's a worry

This is so gross. Nobody said “up for sex” except you.

What else is a bit game then? That's why o thought the school were so upset. A bit game, a bit game for it, a bit up for it, up for sex?

@AStudyinPink

There's a lot of people who currently owe a lawyer an apology for suggesting he looked like a cat 😂

Right, and I know this a humorous example, but I watched that and saw a group of very po-faced middle age men saying - professionally and respectfully - “Perhaps you need to turn your filter off?” Nobody sent a third person message: “Bob looks like a cat.” Because third person messages in that context wouldn’t be appropriate.

And those men are peers. The 9 year old isn’t the teacher’s peer, and didn’t address the teacher - he talked about how she looked on the screen.

He’d do well to watch how those men handled a funny situation to remain professional.

The reason that video is so funny is because they didn't reacted like people usually would. The fact the poor man panicked and felt he had to declare he wasn't a cat shows that.

Tbf I only brought that up as light relief from the relentlessly deliberate misunderstanding on this thread. But for the record, as has been pointed out many times now:

• the 9yo was using age appropriate language to explain what was happening to the screen, eg. the teacher appeared pixelated (not necessarily the whole screen)
• did so in order to let the teacher know he couldn't fully participate in the lesson (by pre-empting his statement about the screen with information about his connection being bad)
• in as non disruptive a manner as possible (using chat)

Working in a call centre we were given lists of things that could be misinterpreted by customers who might find them offensive but are the vernacular for the most part.

The most mind boggling one I recall was "Bear with me". Because some Scots may think you're implying you want a child with them. Apparently. No Scot I know has done anything except look at me sideways and deny it when tested and the context has been explained.

There appears to be some confusion these days over courtesy and over-sensitivity.

@astudyinpink
I think we've found the teacher, who, might I say expects a 9 yr old to behave with the wisdom of a 50 year old.
Some responses on this thread are so surreal. He's on the class chat, he's mentioned that the connection isn't great, he further explains how the screen, and so the teacher who is visible on the screen, looks to him.
I would greatly question whether the head is the right person to be Safeguarding Lead if this is how she responds to a comment about pixels by a 9 year old struggling with connection problems.

What else is a bit game then? That's why o thought the school were so upset. A bit game, a bit game for it, a bit up for it, up for sex?

I’ve explained above how children sometimes use language in ways they don’t fully understand. I don’t need to do it again. Your posts are grimy.

It is concerning that the Intital assumption of the teacher and the head is that a 9 year old boy is sexually objectifying his teacher.

Regardless of whether he was in the wrong to have said anything, the fact that this is the conclusion they jumped to and were confident enough to contact you with it would really bother me. I would definitely talk to them about it, not in an combatative way but to understand where this view if his actions has come from.

@AStudyinPink

What else is a bit game then? That's why o thought the school were so upset. A bit game, a bit game for it, a bit up for it, up for sex?

I’ve explained above how children sometimes use language in ways they don’t fully understand. I don’t need to do it again. Your posts are grimy.

You agreed the teachers were right or be upset by the unclear use of a bit game, I'm just asking what you interpret a bit game to mean? If I'm the only one who took it like that I'll accept it's clearly a colloquialism that most people didn't get and I'd be less angry at school

@AStudyinPink

As many people have explained, pixelation only occurs to objects/people that are in motion. So, the whole screen wasn't pixelated just the teacher.

Then he was commenting on just the teacher. As I said.

He could have said “I can’t see you, Miss X, it’s the connection.”

He was clearly going for a little comedy for his peers. And okay, some people might say, “So what?” But I suspect there are much clearer rules than that and (as the OP says) he knows them, and this didn’t follow them.

Maybe it's because I work in IT, but if someone on a zoom call just said "I can't see you" that would be really unhelpful, as then you'd have to go through the reasons why not, eg. Was her camera switched off. By telling her she was pixelated it meant she should have known instantly the problem was his end, and she couldn't do anything to fix it, but be aware that he may not have got all the information and may need a follow up message.

He shouldn't be commenting about anything other than schoolwork - a lot of schools will follow this up and remind people about typing non-school related things in the chat.

But he was commenting about his schoolwork. His connection was poor so he couldnt follow the class. What else was he supposed to do??

And as for the "8 bit game" he was referring to how the screen looked in language he understood.

Only if Miss X is pixelated in real life, would the comment have been about her appearance! It can only mean that the technical problems are making Miss X appear as she would in an 8 bit game.

And if the teacher was monitoring the chat, surely the context of the comment would have given her a clue as to what op's ds meant? Unless one of the replies to "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game" was "Phwoar! Yeah, she's a bit of alright, and no mistake!"

MedusasBadHairDay

I agree he might have struggled for the right words, but even “I can’t see the teacher, it’s fuzzy” would have been better than a third person description to peers in public. It’s not the same as “You look...” (which at least has the benefit of being directly to the affected person) and it isn’t trying to be funny (which I think this was).

You agreed the teachers were right or be upset by the unclear use of a bit game,

I didn’t. I said they probably misunderstood. I said the misunderstanding is understandable.

And you can be “game” for many things. As I said, a child might not know the meaning you are talking about. They might have heard it and misunderstood its full meaning. As I’ve said several times.

Anyone else sometimes feel we're living in the simulation and sometimes the programming clashes?

This is starting to remind me to a lesser degree of a thread I was on last year where one or two posters were adamant that residents of my town should be grateful for visitors shitting in their gardens. Which we were obviously lying about despite local press reports.

I'm all for the law of attraction, but even that states you can't change reality just by repeating a mantra....

I think children these days, surprisingly, are more aware of 8 bit games than adults due to Minecraft. What a ridiculous reaction from school.

@sleepingstandingup
8 bit is the size of the game.
Like 78 or 45 in vinyl or 2 gig.

@AStudyinPink

You agreed the teachers were right or be upset by the unclear use of a bit game,

I didn’t. I said they probably misunderstood. I said the misunderstanding is understandable.

And you can be “game” for many things. As I said, a child might not know the meaning you are talking about. They might have heard it and misunderstood its full meaning. As I’ve said several times.

Don't you think it's a bit far-fetched of the teacher to immediately think the 9 year old is ogling her?

HunkyPunk

This thread has amused me. Maybe I should have written up a behaviour report for the student who was having technical issues and said my face looked funny. It was such a rude and inappropriate comment, they were obviously objectifying me and should have been told in no uncertain terms that they are rude individuals. They should then receive direct instructions that should they have a technical issue, the correct response is to say 'I'm terribly sorry MrsSmiles. I appear to be experiencing frequent momentary technical difficulties. When the aforementioned difficulties occur, the image of your face on my screen presents in a manner that temporarily distorts your face. Obviously I would never seek to comment on your appearance in any way, and would like to clarify again that this is merely a comment about the audio-visual connection to the call. Obviously I apologise unreservedly for any offence that might have been caused by making a reference to the technological representation of your face on my screen'

Good gosh. So OTT. They sound insane and ridiculous. Feel so bad for your poor DS.

To doggedly insist that OPs child was commenting personally on the teacher is just a twisted logic that I can't fathom. If he'd said "Miss is a bit fuzzy", would you insist he meant that his teacher was actually furry or something in real life? No of course not, because that would be utterly ridiculous.

^This. We all know perfectly well that this was not a personal remark about the teacher's actual physical appearance. So why are people pretending it was?