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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you’re that paranoid about covid perhaps you should stay at home

223 replies

bagpuss90 · 10/02/2021 09:40

Apologies for yet another covid thread . Just for the record-I’m a trained nurse -I’ve also taught infection control . I’m very respectful of the two metre rule. I’ve stuck to the rules throughout. Yesterday I was out with my dog - there was a man and woman ahead of me . I wanted to overtake them as they were walking very slowly. They were not old people by the way. I walked well over two metres away from them to do this. Probably more like three metres. We were on a piece of open space .The woman began shouting at me about covid. Telling me there are rules. I pointed out I was nowhere near her. Her husband actually told her to calm down. I accept she may have underlying health issues. I also accept people are scared . But am I being unreasonable in thinking that you can’t go out and shout ( throwing lots of droplets out then anyway) at anyone remotely near you - you just can’t . If you really are that paranoid then perhaps stay at home. I’m sure I will get flamed here.

OP posts:
Biker47 · 11/02/2021 16:38

Has happened from the start, people getting shirty about you passing them in less than a second, slightly closer than they would prefer, failing to realise the whole point of "social distance" is to keep you distancing while you're in a social interaction with someone else, not; being passed by someone who isn't interacting with you. If you're so bothered about people getting close and you're blocking a path, maybe don't instigate an argument, where people are likely to start shouting with you, totally negating any social distancing. I'm not going to throw myself into a puddle or onto the road if I want past you, but I'm not going to stand there and argue with you about it.

freddiesmoustache · 11/02/2021 16:46

I didn't say she wouldn't have the vaccine.

Why would it be different if she had dementia? By the reckoning on this thread, people with dementia shouldn't leave the house either in case they say something inappropriate to upset somebody. You can't tell by looking at somebody whether they have dementia

Yes people are getting too close to her on grass / wide paths. I actually wonder whether people do it on purpose. Last year I was sat in the middle of an expanse of grass, probably empty 50m around me, and a couple made a beeline for me and passed about 1m away. It was extraordinary.

Fembot123 · 11/02/2021 16:56

@freddiesmoustache

I didn't say she wouldn't have the vaccine.

Why would it be different if she had dementia? By the reckoning on this thread, people with dementia shouldn't leave the house either in case they say something inappropriate to upset somebody. You can't tell by looking at somebody whether they have dementia

Yes people are getting too close to her on grass / wide paths. I actually wonder whether people do it on purpose. Last year I was sat in the middle of an expanse of grass, probably empty 50m around me, and a couple made a beeline for me and passed about 1m away. It was extraordinary.

Yes that is very odd, won’t hurt you though.
Tehmina23 · 11/02/2021 17:04

To be honest I've been on a lot of walks & most people (except some groups of intimidating looking younger men) socially distance, it also seems to have made people round my way who are never normally friendly actually acknowledge others, smile & even say hello!
So that is a positive effect of social distancing here.

I haven't witnessed any yelling at anyone.
But as I said, the only rule breakers are young male gang member types with masks & no one sensible would yell at them...

Regarding mask wearing - it's legal to not wear a mask outside in the fresh air actually! As long as you social distance & if you do have to pass close to someone then turn away.

I bet after saying all that someone's gonna yell at me tomorrow ha!!

Fembot123 · 11/02/2021 17:04

In the summer my family and I were walking down a narrow pavement and a woman start emptying her kids out of the car onto said pavement, she mumbled ‘Those people obviously haven’t heard of social distancing’ she must have been left wishing I hadn’t heard 😂 no shouting or swearing though as I didn’t want her kids or mine to be upset. If someone was mumbling ‘hands, face, space’ on the other hand I’d assume they weren’t well and ignore it.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 11/02/2021 17:18

I always walk in walking boots so I’m the one who steps into the mud or ice to get out of the way as most people round here like to go for a nice winter walk in white Nikes or nice shiny chelsea boots, or, like my MIL, little flats with pop socks that do nothing in bad weather. If I’m out in my own nice Nikes though I won’t be stepping out of the way !

poppycat10 · 11/02/2021 17:35

@Oysterbabe

Yanbu.

I was out for a run the other week, running along an empty path. A woman opened her car door and stepped out directly into my path, I did well not to clatter in to her, only for her to shout 'social distancing!' at me. Stupid cow Angry

You should have shouted back "dutch reach" at her!
poppycat10 · 11/02/2021 17:35

(if you don't know what that is see www.dutchreach.org/)

poppycat10 · 11/02/2021 17:39

@Bookwords

Moronic people came too close, with no mask on and coughed at me.

They coughed at you! Wow I go out every single day walking.

I've never once been coughed at.

You must be very unfortunate the one time you went out someone coughed at you.

I thought the same. I have heard one person cough outside since the pandemic started, and fortunately they were on the road and I was on the neighbouring towpath, so there was some space between us.
Beaniecats · 11/02/2021 17:39

I agree OP good post

SchrodingersImmigrant · 11/02/2021 17:41

I have heard one person cough outside since the pandemic started

I did quite a lot but they try to hide it.
I sneezed once😂 I was far away from everyone and sneezed in other direction but omg the faces😂 sneeze isn't even covid.

ifitpleasesandsparkles · 11/02/2021 17:43

@freddiesmoustache

Last year I was sat in the middle of an expanse of grass, probably empty 50m around me, and a couple made a beeline for me and passed about 1m away. It was extraordinary

Oh my god. Extraordinary! Shock Are you ok?

Hmm
HikeForward · 11/02/2021 18:29

Why would it be different if she had dementia? By the reckoning on this thread, people with dementia shouldn't leave the house either in case they say something inappropriate to upset somebody

Of course people with dementia should be allowed to leave the house. They may not remember to social distance though which would upset people who take the 2m rule very seriously. As I said upthread, there are numerous reasons why somebody might not be able to distance, from being in a rush to not wanting to step into the mud to pass. Plus people with memory problems, or small children running, or people walking past the car unexpectedly as she’s getting out.

People would generally be more understanding if she had dementia or a serious mental health condition (if obvious). A person lacking capacity to weigh up what they say would likely be muttering more inappropriate things than ‘hands, face, space’.

The ‘hands, face, space’ statement is clearly a reprimand to those around her who get too close, unless she’s mumbling it so they can’t really hear. In which case they’re more likely to stop and ask her if she’s ok than back off!

freddiesmoustache · 11/02/2021 18:32

Um yeah it was extraordinary Confused

Seeings as you're taking the piss, I guess you're one of those people who walks along an empty beach until they see some other humans and feels the necessity to sit down on top of them?

IrmaFayLear · 11/02/2021 18:38

Like mother like daughter Grin

Bookwords · 11/02/2021 18:41

. Last year I was sat in the middle of an expanse of grass, probably empty 50m around me, and a couple made a beeline for me and passed about 1m away. It was extraordinary.

Yeah of course that really happened 🙄!

Blueeyedgirl21 · 11/02/2021 18:48

They probably knew they had covid, and saw you and thought ‘omg let’s walk near them for three seconds, that will definitely pass the rona on! Heheh!’ And walked by you.

Or not. Maybe they were distracted by the fact that they had a lot going on in their life, you know pandemic and all, and forgot you weren’t the center of the universe.

Besides last year sitting on grass in a public place was basically a criminal act according to most mumsnetters, punishable by public and online shaming (you must not leave the house for pleasure or rest when you are Out Of The House) so you have lost all covid high ground on that alone 😂

SchrodingersImmigrant · 11/02/2021 18:52

The mumbling something isn't a problem. You mumble and then it's up to the person to react or not, IF they hear.
Ahouting at someone is a different matter. It's aggressive, it's intimidating and as it is strong action, it get strong emotional reaction. Whether it's someone crying or telling you to go fuck yourself.

Again. People shouldn't be shouting at anyone just because they think the person might be too close or something.

Examples of acceptable times to shout at strangers:
"Run! There is a fire!"
"Stop! A car!"
"You in the red coat! Wait! You lost your wallet!"
"She's got a gun!"

TheChip · 11/02/2021 18:53

Yes, last year you could walk but not sit!
How mental is that on its own Confused

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 11/02/2021 18:58

That woman will never get over her fear if she stays inside all the time. However, if she continues to go out and (hopefully) doesn't become ill, perhaps the repeated effort will make her feel that it isn't as terrifying as it was the first day she set foot out of her front door.

DP works with a lot of older colleagues (as in priority group ages). Whilst they are still very careful about masks and gloves and eye protection and face shields and distancing, etc, etc, they're now - because they have had no choice but to come to work - beginning to see, because they've been interacting with people/leaving the house for work and nothing bad has happened to them, that, combined with their priority vaccinations coming up, that they can be less on high alert at all times.

The general chit chat around him at work is largely what vaccine they want to have and where they'd like to go on holiday first once they've had them - but it's better than the shouting at clients to keep back, making up their own rules, sharing rumours about the Chinese and immigrants and barking at him that he needs to clean the client area before they come out from behind their desks for a trip to the bathroom.

In short, she won't desensitise herself to being outside and around other people if she doesn't continue to challenge herself and, frankly, be brave in going out whilst still frightened.

I'm sure you know that, really.

ifitpleasesandsparkles · 11/02/2021 19:03

@freddiesmoustache

Um yeah it was extraordinary Confused

Seeings as you're taking the piss, I guess you're one of those people who walks along an empty beach until they see some other humans and feels the necessity to sit down on top of them?

Yes my hobby is sitting on top of strangers at beaches.

Here's a Confused right back at you.

bagpuss90 · 12/02/2021 20:20

Don’t want to get petty . I was just thinking though . There’s a zero tolerance of abuse for nurses , healthcare workers , shop staff etc. There are signs up saying just that Quite rightly so as well . Why does it then become acceptable out on the street, in parks etc? Just for the record -I couldn’t afford to go at a snails pace that day as I had to go to work but I still reckon I can judge two metres pretty well.

OP posts:
CandidaAlbicans2 · 13/02/2021 09:41

Last year I was sat in the middle of an expanse of grass, probably empty 50m around me, and a couple made a beeline for me and passed about 1m away. It was extraordinary

Oh my god. Extraordinary! Shock Are you ok? Hmm

@ifitpleasesandsparkles, I don’t know why you’re taking the piss out of @freddiesmoustache’s example because it was weird that those people passed close to her when there was absolutely no reason why they needed to. In a whole field to choose from they couldn’t pass further than 1m? It would’ve seemed odd even in pre-covid times (unless she happened to be beside a footpath of course) but it's even odder now. As she said, it’s like those who have a whole beach to choose from but sit by the only other person on it Confused

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