To think if you’re that paranoid about covid perhaps you should stay at home

[bagpuss90]

Apologies for yet another covid thread . Just for the record-I’m a trained nurse -I’ve also taught infection control . I’m very respectful of the two metre rule. I’ve stuck to the rules throughout. Yesterday I was out with my dog - there was a man and woman ahead of me . I wanted to overtake them as they were walking very slowly. They were not old people by the way. I walked well over two metres away from them to do this. Probably more like three metres. We were on a piece of open space .The woman began shouting at me about covid. Telling me there are rules. I pointed out I was nowhere near her. Her husband actually told her to calm down. I accept she may have underlying health issues. I also accept people are scared . But am I being unreasonable in thinking that you can’t go out and shout ( throwing lots of droplets out then anyway) at anyone remotely near you - you just can’t . If you really are that paranoid then perhaps stay at home. I’m sure I will get flamed here.

She's not unpleasant. She's frightened

Lots of people are frightened. Lots of people are extremely clinically vulnerable. But most manage to control their anxiety enough to have the vaccine when offered, and seek help (eg antidepressants or phone therapy) from the GP so they do not live in a state or permanent terror. You mentioned she felt suicidal at one point, did she not get help for this? Did her family not insist she seek help?

Telling people off or making rude PA comments for getting too close, when she has chosen to come out in public, is very unpleasant behaviour whatever the cause of it. One day someone may react aggressively and make her more afraid of going for walks.

I had a whole family two parents and two you g kids climb a banking to get off the path last year. One child fell and cut his knee. It was ludicrous! Plus we were over 2m away from them.

@Fembot123

‘Ditto’ only applies if I was complaining, I just thinks it’s silly but you knock yourself out

@Fembot123 Thanks for your permission, so grateful. I think I"m perfectly capable of deciding in which context I use the word ditto. Yes, my POV is different to yours - shock horror. My decision if I comment/post or not. You also comment about people appearing idiotic. Judge much? You obviously have a very high opinion of yourself. All hail Fembot!! I stand by my original comment that maybe, in some cases it's better to just walk away. Like I'm doing now. Enjoy your day,.

Yanbu. I've had someone huffing at me for daring to overtake them in a supermarket aisle or dramatically stepping to the side. The chances of catching covid by walking past someone are practically zero. What gets me even more is when they feel the need to say something and then cause more risk by starting a conversation.
I get that people are nervous but if you're that paranoid just avoid the shops or walking where you will have to see other people.

I didn't say she was suicidal, I said IF she'd had to stay indoors for the past year she probably would have been. Luckily she has kept going out for the good of her mental and physical health.

To the poster who said if they heard somebody say hands face space they'd think they'd lost the plot - yes, precisely. It's extreme anxiety that is causing people to act like this. Not some inherent unpleasantness.

There have always been mental health conditions and disabilities which might cause people to behave ways which would otherwise be considered socially unacceptable. Should they all stay at home too, or just people who have been pushed to the edge by the pandemic?

I know a whole family like this. They refuse to visit shops and call the police on people for preceived rule breaking. However, they're happy to send a 75+ person to do their shopping errands because they "just fancied xxx for dinner." I've stepped away.
There's no need for your one to shout, I'd have walked away OP.

“ if she had had to stay indoors for the past year...”. But she didn’t stay indoors. So would anyone be bonkers if they’d had to stay in - but she’s been going out

Nothing you are saying is any excuse to be horrid to passers by. What if a large 35-year-old man shouted at your mother - would that be acceptable “because he had been pushed to the edge by the pandemic”? Of course not. Stop trying to justify entitlement and obnoxious behaviour and dress it up as “worry”.

@airbags, yeah ok.. I’m going to walk away from this as it’s bizarre. Yes I do judge, anyone who says they don’t is a rotten liar 😘

There is no excuse to be a dick to people. Once can maybe be excused, but if you repeatedly put yourself into positions where you react irrationally, then I'm afraid it means you're a bit of a cunt. Imo anyway

I didn't say she was suicidal, I said IF she'd had to stay indoors for the past year she probably would have been. Luckily she has kept going out for the good of her mental and physical health

That’s great, I’m glad that getting out has been helpful for her

However, what about all those other people who might also be suicidal if they don’t go out, who are also having to deal with being screamed or shouted at, or the types of comments your mum is subjecting them to when they are doing nothing wrong?

My daughter was also finding getting out for walks helpful, until she was subjected to this kind of behaviour, and now she can’t leave her room, let alone the house, without having a panic attack.

@IrmaFayLear

“ if she had had to stay indoors for the past year...”. But she didn’t stay indoors. So would anyone be bonkers if they’d had to stay in - but she’s been going out

Nothing you are saying is any excuse to be horrid to passers by. What if a large 35-year-old man shouted at your mother - would that be acceptable “because he had been pushed to the edge by the pandemic”? Of course not. Stop trying to justify entitlement and obnoxious behaviour and dress it up as “worry”.

Exactly. Muttering "hands, space, face" or whatever it is at people obnoxious.

I do stay in OP. Because some people when put seem determined to invade the 2 metre rule. I always wear a mask but sadly others still don't all of the time. I drop off child to school, stay in car, drive home. Stay in all day, because when I did try to go out just fog walking in open space close to.ehete I live, Moronic people came too close, with no mask on and coughed at me. Now I just stay in. I hate this pandemic.

Moronic people came too close, with no mask on and coughed at me.

They coughed at you! Wow I go out every single day walking.

I've never once been coughed at.

You must be very unfortunate the one time you went out someone coughed at you.

Oh, whatever. You've made your minds up that my DM is a demon.

Quite frankly, if people are getting upset by a comment made by somebody obviously frail when they've gone far closer than 2m to them, perhaps THEY should stay at home on account of their disproportionate sensitivity.

Mental health is the MN 'get put of jail free card' to justify all sorts of bad behaviour. It's not fair on all the perfectly polite people who have mental health issues. Sometimes people are just rude and there's no deeper meaning.
My teenage son got yelled at by an older woman because he wasn't wearing a mask in the street and blamed for giving older people Covid. Apart from the fact that it's untrue - older people are just as capable of spreading it, it's not actually illegal to not wear a mask in the street. I don't know why some people think they have a right to yell at total strangers who aren't doing anything to harm them, just walking along minding their own business!

Er, you haven’t painted your dm in the best light. She may be frail, but sweet she ain’t if she’s mouthing off at passers by.

@freddiesmoustache

Oh, whatever. You've made your minds up that my DM is a demon.

Quite frankly, if people are getting upset by a comment made by somebody obviously frail when they've gone far closer than 2m to them, perhaps THEY should stay at home on account of their disproportionate sensitivity.

I don’t think she sounds like a demon but equally I don’t expect a stranger to say anything to me full stop. Who has ‘right of way’ walking on a pavement or are you saying that she goes walking over fields but people go out of their way to cross her path?

@caringcarer

I do stay in OP. Because some people when put seem determined to invade the 2 metre rule. I always wear a mask but sadly others still don't all of the time. I drop off child to school, stay in car, drive home. Stay in all day, because when I did try to go out just fog walking in open space close to.ehete I live, Moronic people came too close, with no mask on and coughed at me. Now I just stay in. I hate this pandemic.

No one bloody likes it, I just don’t believe that someone came up and coughed at you

The only time she walks on pavements is leaving the house to get to the car. So yes, the walks she takes are in places where there is 100% space to distance. She wouldn't go there otherwise.

I didn't say she was suicidal, I said IF she'd had to stay indoors for the past year she probably would have been. Luckily she has kept going out for the good of her mental and physical health

So she wasn’t suicidal at all, you just predicted she ‘might’ feel that way if she didn’t keep going for walks. On one hand you describe her as being overwhelmed with an anxiety disorder, on the other you describe her as maintaining her mental and physical health with regular exercise.

To the poster who said if they heard somebody say hands face space they'd think they'd lost the plot - yes, precisely. It's extreme anxiety that is causing people to act like this. Not some inherent unpleasantness

I’m afraid it comes across as unpleasant whether motivated by anxiety or not! How are people to know she has extreme covid anxiety? They may think she’s in a bad mood or aggressive and taking it out on them with her muttering.

There have always been mental health conditions and disabilities which might cause people to behave ways which would otherwise be considered socially unacceptable. Should they all stay at home too, or just people who have been pushed to the edge by the pandemic?

I think you and your mother need to realise a lot of people have been ‘pushed to the edge’ by the pandemic and snapping at people to move out of her way in public is unacceptable. How do you know the people she mutters at don’t have a mental health condition or disability that causes them to misjudge social distancing? How do you know the people she mutters at don’t have anxiety/depression and feel panicky about leaving the house again thanks to being ticked off by a stranger for overtaking!

On one hand you say she is so anxious she won’t have the vaccine but she doesn’t seem to have addressed this anxiety or been diagnosed or treated for a mental health condition.
Different if she has no control over her behaviour due to illness eg if she had dementia or lacked capacity to understand what she is saying and why. But saying ‘hands face space’ is a very direct and rude way of telling strangers to keep away. Which may not always be possible eg if she chooses to walk on a narrow footpath or pavement alongside a busy road where people have no other way of getting past (other than stepping into traffic).

@freddiesmoustache

Oh, whatever. You've made your minds up that my DM is a demon.

Quite frankly, if people are getting upset by a comment made by somebody obviously frail when they've gone far closer than 2m to them, perhaps THEY should stay at home on account of their disproportionate sensitivity.

I don’t think she’s a demon at all, she’s struggling and needs some help to cope. I don’t think excusing her behaviour because she’s terrified is the right thing to do.

The times I’ve been shouted at I’ve been metres and metres away from the person or they’ve walked into my space, the person who shouted at my DD was the opposite side of a tennis court.

@freddiesmoustache

The only time she walks on pavements is leaving the house to get to the car. So yes, the walks she takes are in places where there is 100% space to distance. She wouldn't go there otherwise.

So people are approaching her in a open grassland/field whatever?

OP, in a year, how many people have you met outside who did that? One. Write it off to extreme anxiety.
I haven't met anybody like that and I walk in parks in the inner-city every day.

@Springersrock

I didn't say she was suicidal, I said IF she'd had to stay indoors for the past year she probably would have been. Luckily she has kept going out for the good of her mental and physical health

That’s great, I’m glad that getting out has been helpful for her

However, what about all those other people who might also be suicidal if they don’t go out, who are also having to deal with being screamed or shouted at, or the types of comments your mum is subjecting them to when they are doing nothing wrong?

My daughter was also finding getting out for walks helpful, until she was subjected to this kind of behaviour, and now she can’t leave her room, let alone the house, without having a panic attack.

So sorry to hear that 😔 hope she finds her way back and starts getting out again. If adults find themselves shouted out etc it’s guaranteed the young people/kids out and about get it a lot worse.