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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you’re that paranoid about covid perhaps you should stay at home

223 replies

bagpuss90 · 10/02/2021 09:40

Apologies for yet another covid thread . Just for the record-I’m a trained nurse -I’ve also taught infection control . I’m very respectful of the two metre rule. I’ve stuck to the rules throughout. Yesterday I was out with my dog - there was a man and woman ahead of me . I wanted to overtake them as they were walking very slowly. They were not old people by the way. I walked well over two metres away from them to do this. Probably more like three metres. We were on a piece of open space .The woman began shouting at me about covid. Telling me there are rules. I pointed out I was nowhere near her. Her husband actually told her to calm down. I accept she may have underlying health issues. I also accept people are scared . But am I being unreasonable in thinking that you can’t go out and shout ( throwing lots of droplets out then anyway) at anyone remotely near you - you just can’t . If you really are that paranoid then perhaps stay at home. I’m sure I will get flamed here.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 10/02/2021 10:26

I had similar happen to me on a path with my daughter approaching a woman. She was clearly agitated and very paranoid and anxious.

I think it's best to feel sympathetic and put this down to poor mental health and extreme anxiety, rather than getting angry and suggesting these people don't go out.

Most of the general public are polite and rational about social distancing in my experience.

PitAndPut · 10/02/2021 10:27

I think lots of people have lost all sense of perspective tbh probably due to all the media scare hype. But everyone else shouldn't be expected to tip toe around it though. If you're acting within the rules, no one has any right to shout at you and I would challenge anyone who shouted at me that way when I'd done nothing wrong, vulnerable or not.

Lifeinaonesie · 10/02/2021 10:29

Agree, I'm often shouted at when out in the countryside with my dogs, nowhere near other people, I'm very aware of keeping my distance but I've had people walk over to me (much closer than 2m) simply to tell me off for being outside or not wearing s mask in a field. It's barmy. The hostility is awful. I note that my dh never gets accosted like this so I wonder if people are getting bored and deciding to take it out on easy targets like single women?

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 10/02/2021 10:30

hamstersarse Yep

OP posts:
pensivepigeon · 10/02/2021 10:35

Erm, they're scared but probably realise they need to face their fears. They have not overcome their fear yet but are working on it. Unfortunately you bore the brunt of this.

CaughtInTheCovid · 10/02/2021 10:35

YANBU. A woman parked outside my parents house the other day (a private road which has please no parking signs on it). He was outside mowing the grass alongside the road when she came back to her car. She started immediatly shouting at him to 'stay away' and was v aggressive. He did point out that a) he was at least 2m away b) they were outside and c) she was parked illegally outside his house and came back to the car when she could see he was walking up and down with a mower and could see where is was about to walk. He was v polite about it but honestly people like that need to lock themselves away for the next few years and leave the rest of us alone.

pensivepigeon · 10/02/2021 10:36

Not going out wouldn't help them face their fear.

unmarkedbythat · 10/02/2021 10:37

My mum and dad are overly afraid. My mum recently told me that even after they have both been vaccinated she doesn't think she will ever be able to get on a train again. She also thinks that passing within 5 metres of someone on a brisk walk where both people are wearing masks is a death sentence. It is really sad.

pensivepigeon · 10/02/2021 10:40

I think there is a way out for them. Not paying attention to media and social media sensationalism helps. As does trying to continue doing day to day things and carrying on as normal as possible within the restrictions.

EmmanuelleMakro · 10/02/2021 10:40

Completely agree OP.
Almost as if they get a grim satisfaction from being ‘licensed’ to be hostile and aggressive as the ‘roolz police’ rather than staying on indoors and ‘keeping ‘safe’

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 10/02/2021 10:41

I am empathic- I did try and get that over on here. As I said it may be an isolated incident . But if you are shouting at everyone that’s anywhere near you in a regular basis - I’m sorry but it’s not acceptable . As I also said there are two sides here. What about the people possibly being shouted at ?

OP posts:
lucylouz · 10/02/2021 10:41

This reminds me of a time during the summer when I went on a walk and was walking on a pavement there was a lady walking on the same pavement coming towards me so I stopped and sort of lent up against the wall so she could walk passed me. This is no exaggeration, she jumped onto the main road in front of a moving car and started shouting about how I was to stay away from her! The car had to emergency break. I was gobsmacked she would rather jump in front of a moving vehicle than walk past me on a pavement (there was no where else for me to go other than the road as well!). Bloody madness!!!

toomanydoghairs · 10/02/2021 10:43

I agree OP, that the woman who shouted at you was out of order and you were clearly being careful etc. But I suspect my mother may act like the woman you encountered when she goes out for a walk. My dad is ECV so they have both been shielding since March 2020- having spent months not leaving the house at all and only braving going for a walk once in a while from about August. She is terrified of bringing Covid home and so wears a mask and tries to stay far more than 2m from other people whenever she goes out. Going out for a walk makes her feel much more health (mentally and physically) but she panics if anyone comes anywhere near her. Since she's not been out of the house much to see otherwise she also seems convinced that the it's the norm to behave as she does when she is out.

So I suppose what I am saying is, in short, OP is in the right but I can understand how someone who is scared of Covid (for valid reasons) might feel they need to go out but then panic when they see other people.

KingAndQueen · 10/02/2021 10:46

Similar happened to me. An older lady started SCREAMING at me 'haven't you heard of covid' as I overtook her (by using road, I might add) ...

I ignored to begin with, but she was giving it big licks. I eventually stopped and just stared at her 👀. She was properly irate, shaking, full of rage!

I just looked level at her and said 'shame on you' and got on with the rest of my day.

There's no justification for that level of aggression and yes, if she cannot face the probability of seeing other people, she probably shouldn't leave her home.

This was on way to a medical apt and if I saw her again on way back to my car and she started I had every intention of filming and pursuing to police as she had me quite shaken up!

Rockbird · 10/02/2021 10:48

I don't know, some people are very scared and it's easier said than done to just stay indoors all the time. We've had a year of this, anxiety is through the roof. So no YANBU but a little understanding goes a long way.

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 10/02/2021 10:48

yanbu
DC2 and I were passive-aggressively grumbled at by a couple in the park this weekend. We were on a section of woodland path that is narrow, probably only about 1.75 m wide and fenced off on both sides. We went single file next to the fence (the couple did not go single file) but there was nowhere else for us to go! It's a huge 600 acre park, with lots of open grass and wide pavements and driveways easily accessible without using the narrow woodland paths. I do think that if someone is particularly sensitive about space the onus is on them to plan carefully.

HighSpecWhistle · 10/02/2021 10:49

I'm sorry but this is such a pointless post.

I stepped aside with my kids the other day to let someone pass....and they didn't say sorry!! Omg should I write a thread about it?!

No, because it's minor. Some woman moaned at you. So what, this happens. Emotions are high. Just forget about it.

TinyTear · 10/02/2021 10:51

I agree
In my local area there is an old couple and a younger woman (by younger - than them - she is in her 60s) that walk around... the woman goes ahead telling everyone to move as "They are shielding" and making people go out of the pavement to the road

I do it as the roads are quiet, but the amount of times I have seen them out and about they must have a very different interpretation to shielding than me!

pensivepigeon · 10/02/2021 10:52

But if you are shouting at everyone that’s anywhere near you in a regular basis - I’m sorry but it’s not acceptable

It's not ideal, no. However not acceptable? Where do you draw the line at this? Many children and adults will have an outburst if they are stressed. Should they not be aloud out?

ServeTheServants · 10/02/2021 10:52

I couldn’t agree more. I just laugh at the people who do their exaggerated clambering into bushes when people are far more than 2m away from them. I may not sound empathetic, but I am fed up of the hysteria that has been created. I wonder if these same people will, for example, only enter a vehicle wearing crash helmets & full protective body gear and cling terrified to its sides whilst in motion 🙄 highly doubtful, but so much perspective has been lost in regard to Covid

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 10/02/2021 10:53

OP YANBU.

Poor mental health does not excuse unreasonable and unfair behaviour towards others.

pensivepigeon · 10/02/2021 10:55

Poor mental health does not excuse unreasonable and unfair behaviour towards others.

But it does explain it. And it is possible to forgive that behaviour in order for that person be able to move on and heal. And being impolite is not a crime yet.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/02/2021 10:56

I stepped aside with my kids the other day to let someone pass....and they didn't say sorry!! Omg should I write a thread about it?!
Why would they apologise??

Brieminewine · 10/02/2021 10:58

I agree OP. It’s brought out the worst in people.

TooMuchYarn · 10/02/2021 11:00

Her reaction to you was unreasonable, but it sounds like she is very stressed. Doesn't excuse shouting at you, but might explain it.
Some fresh air and exercise would probably do her good - it could well be the first time she's been out of the house in days.

This wouldn't bother me when I am very clearly in the right and upsetting her further gets nobody anywhere. Certainly she needs to calm down though, the next person she yells at could be equally anxious and badly upset by this. But people are only going to get over anxiety by getting out more and seeing they are OK. Staying home for weeks at a time out of fear is really not good.