DH has always done long hours, and me too. We made it work. We also both have had lots of international travel - which when younger tended to be opposite each other (so 1 travelled a lot but the other almost none) and I had almost none while DD was small. But when DD was in senior infants, DH needed to take on a project involving 50% of his time abroad (leave Sunday late morning week 1, away all week 1 and 2, arrive home Sat lunchtime week 2, here but working all weeks 3 & 4, so weekend 3 fully at home (or travelling "down home" to family), but weekend 4 was back to Sunday late morning departure). And he was still working FT in the office in the city when he was here. We did get an au pair for 3 of those 4 years, and I juggled the last year with just a lady coming for an hour every morning to get DD up and out to school. That was tough, but we just cracked on with it (and got even more ruthlessly organised) - DD and I had 1 routine when on our own, and a different one when DH was here. And both DPs and DPILs had to get used to a reduction in visits (we live 2.5 hours away from both, 20 minutes apart, and had been visiting at least once if not twice a month before then - but had to reduce to no more than once every 2 months while DH was away).
Although that period also got us used to systems we could draw on later when DFIL got ill very suddenly and DMIL needed DH there a huge amount while he was ill and after he died - DD and I were there a lot too but needed to still go to work and school here, whereas DH could better work remotely at that stage.
It's as much about having a mindset of managing - what needs to happen everyday and how that can work best, what are the emergency systems in place for expected emergencies, and what can you do when SHTF.
So most of the time, you have a system for dinners that works to feed everyone hot, healthy meals they enjoy. But some weeks you are both really busy at work so you have backup meals in the freezer to just thaw and heat through, or rely on the takeaways that you keep their numbers handy when it's a worse week.
We have a laundry system where we each have plenty of clothes (DD had reflux so I got very used to being thrown up on multiple times a day) - we keep on top of washing and drying clothes during the week, but throw them all into a clean laundry hamper in the kitchen and only sort/fold/put away at the weekend (chuck the entire clean hamper onto the floor, and sit folding while watching a movie, and used to get DD to pair socks at the same time). And we have really reduced the amount needing ironing - which DH does on Sunday evenings watching Countryfile while I cook dinner.
Keep a list on the fridge door, preferably of things that are running out before they are gone - but anyone who finishes anything is supposed to write it on the list to help build the weekly shopping list.
I also tend to keep a notebook with other lists - sizes of clothes/shoes that currently fit everyone, clothes that need replacing (in case I see things when on lunch in town or in sales), all the small jobs that need doing (get DH's shoes mended, sew torn trouser leg, bring my good suit to dry cleaners, call chimney sweep, pay annul insurance in next 3 weeks...)