To work full time with a nine month old?

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I do have the option of not going back, but I’m worried about the long term ramifications of this.

Will it just put unbearable pressure on the family or is it actually not that bad?

Term time only jobs are rare. We both teach & didn't send ours to childminder in school hols even though we had to pay half in school hols. Maybe you could do the same if they are in childcare FT? A childminder would be cheaper & they like to have space freed up in hols so they can look after school age ones. It gives your own child more time with you & less likely to get exhausted & catch germs. Mine were rarely ill as babies/toddlers. I have never had to take a day off work due to child illness - my mother in law did help - but I think childminder is a smaller setting so not as many germs as nursery.

It depends also on how much DH does round house, can you afford a cleaner etc

I do want another child —now— probably in the next year so yes that’s a factor. Two in full time nursery would eat up my salary but in the long term there are other benefits.

I'd just add, you are right to thik long term because that baby stage is ridiculously short. Don't make life decisions based on the first two years. You have a long time in work. Two years is nothing at all. This is especially true in a term time only job, you'll have oodles of time together.

Are you a teacher?

I went back ft at 6 months, it's ok.

What does your DH do? Is he also considering giving up work?

I would absolutely go back full time if you have a term time only job. Plenty of time to spend with dc and dh.

I went back at 9 months to a long hours city job. It was a bit of a nightmare but it would have been fine with a 9-5 job and great if it was only term time.

I wouldn't want to be away from my baby so long and to be getting ready to go out or coming back tired. But it's a personal choice. I don't think you should undermine/deprioritise your happiness with your child. These are precious moments.

Another baby now? I'd hold your horses until they start toddling and tantrums before deciding that, but that's me!! My advice would be to go back to work, get yourself into a nice manageable rhythm with a reliable childminder who lives close by and then think about no.2 when you have the wheels smooth. Can you really afford two in full time childcare simultaneously? I really don't see any upside to this. Mine are 5 and 9 now and still play together loads and are big friends despite a four year age gap.

Yes, two non working parents is super sensible in a pandemic! I can’t fault DH on this, he’s been very supportive and has pretty much said that whatever I want we will make it work.

I’m ancient plucked so I do have to get a move on if I want a second. Two in full time childcare would barely make a profit but there are pensions, benefits such as sick pay, childcare costs don’t last forever considerations there as well.

Also if you're going to have another quickly, being FT for mat pay enhancement cane make a big difference.

A term time job will allow you plenty of time with your baby.

The long term gain for your career outweighs the short term pain of juggling drop offs etc, but your DH needs to do his share.

I don’t know! I know if you DON’T work term time only it probably seems like kids are always on holiday but those weeks seem really long.

I can’t fault DH, but in non-COVID times he works away a lot so that could be a bit difficult. He WFH the rest of the time though which lends us some flexibility at least.

You sound like you want to go back tbh.

Is there an option for PT?

If DH is WFH at the moment you can also plan for that to continue for a while and adjust any plans as and when.

I want the benefits to going back (money and long term benefits) without actually going back! Totally reasonable.

Part time isn’t looking possible.

I went back full time when baby was 8 months... it was hard in the beginning mostly because I have quite a stressful job and because first lockdown happened 2 weeks after I went back! I sometimes have guilt about working full time particularly when I see people on Facebook doing all sorts of mary poppin type activities everyday but then I give my head a wobble. Going back ultimately was the best thing for me and my LO, I appreciate it isn't for everyone. I cope by making the most of the weekends with my little one and remembering she does amazing things at nursery and genuinely loves her time there!

I went back to work FT without thinking twice when DS was eight months old. His excellent childminder and the other children he met there constituted almost a second family, and were a rich addition to his life.

I went back full time with DD1 was 11 months. It was fantastic. I’ve just had DD2 and taking 12 months this time and then will be back full time. My DH went to 4 days which was nice for all of us - could yours do something like that? If your job is term time only you’ll have loads of time with them.

I was a nursing student after my first and went back to full time shifts at 9 months. I had an excellent nursery that were amazing to my little boy even when he cried the whole day! I think it worked for us because we knew it was temporary and now I'm qualified I only work 24 hours a week. He is now 4 and very much still a mummy's boy and I saw him plenty. I had him constantly when I was off and he still breastfed through the night and slept with me so didnt feel I missed out at all. To be honest he was a very clingy difficult baby as i had held him every second from birth and nursery was great for him, he thrived there. Got much more independence.

Also one of my colleagues went back about 16 weeks pregnant so she hardly had any time to work!

I'm 30hpw with 2 under 4s. It's hard and do have guilt but needs must to pay bills and put food on the table. Dh made redundant so very glad of my job, I was higher earner anyways.

In none pandemic times, when childcare is fully open, working FT with obe or 2 small children in nursery is fine.
I quit when our youngest started school. The ridiculous requests and last miniute arrangements from school was too much.
I've just gone back, mid pandemic, with the youngest in Y5 to term time only, at a much lower level compared to when I left a different sector.

I would do what your gut is telling you. For me, I knew I didn't want to miss out on the baby and toddler years - they're the most fun! But not for everyone I know. I was lucky that I could do it financially. I went back to teaching when my son started school. I will treasure my years as a SAHM - but again, we are all different. Only you can answer this question really.

I would definitely hang onto that term time job!! I went back when middle child was 10 months old and it was alright but I did feel very guilty. I ended up becoming a SAHM after our 3rd and no regrets. BUT if I had a term time job I would have kept working 100%!

These threads are always an example of how a mother can never be in the right when it comes to working / not working and childcare.

OP, I work full time with two pre school kids. We have a great nursery, short commute so we don't have to drop them off really early or pick up late and two parents paying into good pensions for the future. Part time isn't an option for everyone.

I went back four days a week when my first was 6 months. It was fine, baby was fine, and went full time after a year . Went back full time when 2nd was 9 months, big mistake. He was a very attached, needy child. I ignored it all and went on regular business trips because I loved the job. He's 5 now and has behavioural issues. Was still tempted into taking a massive job after DC3. I binned it after a few months, as it was the wrong thing. Just go back, if it doesn't work you can always bail.