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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBu to take my dog for a walk when she’s in heat?

445 replies

berryfull · 09/02/2021 23:12

Obviously on the lead, we’ll controlled. Obviously trying to avoid busy dog places where possible. But a walk a couple of times a day.

I’ve had several owners of entire make dogs give me a mouthful this week, when they’ve had to come and forceably remove their intact off lead dog from following me. Even went so far tonight that the dog that was following us had no owner anywhere visible, so I had to phone them from the number on the collar. When they arrived to get the dog (having delayed me 20 mins or so) they decided to tell me off !!

Flabbergasted! Surely if you have an entire make dog, then you should be keeping it in the lead or under supervision. Why should my dog get no excersize ? I’m keeping my dog under control. Why should I have to lock her away while male dogs roam free?

Dog patriarchy anyone?

OP posts:
smashedadvocado · 09/02/2021 23:45

No YANBU, why are these male dogs not spayed? Both owners responsibility to look after their own dogs. They shouldn't be giving you any grief and you have a right to walk your in heat dog while on a leash.

Littleegglet · 09/02/2021 23:45

I don’t think you could prevent some dogs from mounting her OP that’s a naive viewpoint - some are stronger than others!

Surely it’s not too much harm to keep her in or on short walks (not a beach where there’s bound to be dogs off lead) until her peak time has passed?

bloodyhairy · 09/02/2021 23:47

Sounds like a stressful situation for you and your dog, OP. In the ideal world, of course you'd be able to walk her, and assume that other dogs will be under control. But that is undoubtedly not always going to be the case. I'd keep her in or have a very controlled pavement walk.

haggistramp · 09/02/2021 23:47

Yanbu. As long as you control your dog with her lead on then anyone else with an uncontrollable dog is at fault. Gtfo with its instinct for male dogs. So is dogs mauling sheep yet no one tries to excuse the owner when this happens. If you cant keep your dog under control at all times them keep it on a god damn lead.

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2021 23:48

@berryfull

I have her on the lead, the beach is huge and quiet when we go. We avoid other dogs. This is all entirely reasonable! Locking her up for weeks in order that male entire dogs can roam uncontrolled is mental !
You walk her on a huge quiet beach and yet in one week you've had 'several' owners of entire male dogs giving you a mouthful??

What are the chances of that Confused

compulsiveliar2019 · 09/02/2021 23:48

@WorraLiberty then they are completely irresponsible and not acting in the bitches best interest! It makes life easier for the vets to spay pre first season but not for the bitch. It's proven to be better for their development to have at least one season. I wouldn't use a vet that advised me to spay pre first season!

Bunnybigears · 09/02/2021 23:49

I would like to see you try stopping her being mounted, actually I wouldn't as you might get seriously hurt! As its her first season and you are presumably going to get her spayed afterwards as you dont sound like a professional breeder it won't be a problem for much longer so you don't need to worry.

compulsiveliar2019 · 09/02/2021 23:50

@felineflutter

In the last week my well behaved dog has gone after two in season bitches. It is annoying as firstly I have to find him and then have to keep my dog on the lead for the rest of the walk.

I apologised to the owners. I am now wondering if they should be have been apologising to me! Wink

Then your dog isn't as well behaved as you think and should be on the lead!
UltimateIrritant · 09/02/2021 23:51

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but are you suggesting that all make dogs should be on leads, all the time? - because both intact and non-intact make dogs will be interested - keep to pavements for a few weeks until you can get her spayed. It's much better than the alternative!

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2021 23:52

[quote compulsiveliar2019]@WorraLiberty then they are completely irresponsible and not acting in the bitches best interest! It makes life easier for the vets to spay pre first season but not for the bitch. It's proven to be better for their development to have at least one season. I wouldn't use a vet that advised me to spay pre first season![/quote]
If you Google it, what is 'proven' for and against is pretty 50/50.

There seems to be benefits/contraindications for both before and after first season.

DoraTan · 09/02/2021 23:52

WorraLiberty

It is true Confused

It's not recommended, but obviously you'll always find someone willing when money is involved.

smashedadvocado · 09/02/2021 23:52

@felineflutter

In the last week my well behaved dog has gone after two in season bitches. It is annoying as firstly I have to find him and then have to keep my dog on the lead for the rest of the walk.

I apologised to the owners. I am now wondering if they should be have been apologising to me! Wink

Why didn't you have control over your dog and why isn't it desexed? Why should the owner of the bitch apologise to you for your dog being out of control? Seriously!!
notapizzaeater · 09/02/2021 23:52

I'm expecting my large girls first season, (my vet wants two seasons before doing her as she's a big breed). I've already looked into hiring a large safe enclosed field so she can get a proper off lead run.

tabulahrasa · 09/02/2021 23:52

@Eckhart

tabulahrasa

What are you suggesting? That bitches in heat don't get let outside at all?

Well some people don’t walk them... depends what secure outside space you’ve got though really.

But walking in really isolated places at weird times when other people tend not to be out walking is pretty sensible, and realising that you might still attract the odd dog - because the best trained dogs can still have a recall fail when a bitch is in season, entire or neutered.

Highwoman · 09/02/2021 23:54

If you want to keep an unspayed bitch, you have to take serious steps to keep her away from other dogs - it's only twice a year FFS!
Mine is unspayed at aged 8 and she's in great shape but needs to be kept on lead when menstruating and indoors or back garden at the end of her menstrual cycle when she's fertile and attractive to boy dogs!
It's really not to do with the patriarchy, its basic biology.

Propercrimboselecta · 09/02/2021 23:55

smashedadvocado it has been said so many times on this thread, neutered males can also be interested in bitches in heat

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2021 23:55

But seriously though, if the OP really was walking her on a 'huge quiet beach', the chances of several owners giving her a mouthful just this week are pretty slim...

Gobbeldegook · 09/02/2021 23:56

Yanbu. If there's one thing I hate it's being accosted by other people's dogs. All dogs should be on a leash, male and female.
Dd2 gets terrified when a dog comes near her, she gets a terrible allergic reaction if a dog licks her, and it frightens her, I actually have to carry piriton to give her because it's actually really common for people here to allow their dog to get right up to kids and when dd starts screaming they say "he only wants to play" well obviously she doesn't ffs get it away. Why people thinks it's ok to leave their animals to harass other people/animals I don't know.
I had a bad experience myself once, as a teenager, heavy period and I'd bled through my jeans. Rushing home with my hoodie round my waist to change, and a woman's off lead dog jumped up and tried humping my leg. So embarrassing! "Oh he must like you" she said. I had friends with me too so it was talked about for weeks. Mortified.
Keep your dog's on leads people.

Propercrimboselecta · 09/02/2021 23:57

Really worrying how many people (I assume) own dogs but do not have a basic understanding of biology.

WhoWants2Know · 09/02/2021 23:57

You really should not be taking a bitch out during her season, apart from to toilet in a secure garden. If you don't have access to a secure garden, then a short toilet visit outside is enough-- ideally using bitch spray to disguise the smell.

It's your responsibility to keep her in because your bitch can cause neutered males to scale 8 foot fences and run amok. It's also very common for females to slip their leads and run or escape their gardens when in season.

Generally a female in season is not safe to be outdoors, and it's distressing for them to pick up male scents from dogs they can't reach.

You are being cruel to your dog and other dogs by taking her out. These are things that you should have known before getting a dog.

Fuckitsstillraining · 09/02/2021 23:59

A dog can smell an in season bitch from a remarkable distance, I have known one to chew through a wooden garage door to escape for that reason. I never walked my bitch when she was in season but I'm fortunate to have a garden, if I did need to walk her it would have been at the quietest possible time in wherever was the least likely place to meet other dogs, I'd hate to be out walking my dog and have it pulling on the lead because it could smell a bitch so I wouldn't want to inflict that on others and it could also be very stressful on the bitch. I'd also use bitch spray to disguise the scent. A very short walk is really all that's needed for the short-time your bitch is in season, there is no need for long strolls where other dogs and owners will be. Before anyone comments my bitch wasn't spayed because she was a successful Dobermann show dog that I was intending to breed, both her and I were registered with the kennel club and she is more spoilt than my husband, I got my first Dobermann when I was 7 and first walked her in a show when I was 8.

Nanny0gg · 09/02/2021 23:59

@smoothchange

It’s her first season.

Why though? Why has she not been spayed?

Because you are often advised to let them have one season first.
joystir59 · 10/02/2021 00:00

Your dog needs to be walked, if course on lead. It's ridiculously unreasonable for owners of off lead male dogs to blame you for their dogs coming up to her to try and mount her. I think it's a good idea to try and walk her earlier/later than normal and/or just generally avoid other dogs, but you can't not walk her. A typical season lasts three weeks!.

compulsiveliar2019 · 10/02/2021 00:00

@Gobbeldegook

Yanbu. If there's one thing I hate it's being accosted by other people's dogs. All dogs should be on a leash, male and female. Dd2 gets terrified when a dog comes near her, she gets a terrible allergic reaction if a dog licks her, and it frightens her, I actually have to carry piriton to give her because it's actually really common for people here to allow their dog to get right up to kids and when dd starts screaming they say "he only wants to play" well obviously she doesn't ffs get it away. Why people thinks it's ok to leave their animals to harass other people/animals I don't know. I had a bad experience myself once, as a teenager, heavy period and I'd bled through my jeans. Rushing home with my hoodie round my waist to change, and a woman's off lead dog jumped up and tried humping my leg. So embarrassing! "Oh he must like you" she said. I had friends with me too so it was talked about for weeks. Mortified. Keep your dog's on leads people.
You need to teach your child not to be terrified of dogs! It doesn't set children up well for life being frightened of everyday occurrences! Allergies or not being terrified won't help
Original poster
berryfull · 10/02/2021 00:01

Research suggests that the peak season varies for every dog. How do you suggest I pinpoint the exact few days in the three weeks?

And yes it’s a big quiet beach. Maybe two
Or three dogs per football pitch size section. And yes I’ve had five entire offlead male dogs follow us this week. 2 with arsehole owners that had a go at me for having my dog in my control, when there’s wasn’t. All dogs were easy enough to to shooo off her until owners arrived. All owners of which I was perfectly nice and patient too as I understand that their dog was just acting on instinct, it’s the ones that shouted at me that I’m annoyed about.

But thanks for the comments, helpful to understand the mentality I’m encountering.

OP posts: