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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with dp

66 replies

Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:10

My do went to a garage today to get his car fixed. He was away for well over an hour, the garage is 10 minutes away. He spent over an hour there showing the mechanics what was needing done. The mechanics weren't wearing masks, my dp says he was. I am now worried about the risks involved due to the time he spent there and the obvious lack of distancing.

Am I just worrying too much?

OP posts:
FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 09/02/2021 11:25

I'm not sure what you really expected him to do OP. Some things you have to show and explain and test. If not then his car might not have been fixed properly. Garages are very well ventilated anyway normally

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:25

Hmm lots of votes for yabu, anyone care to tell me why they think that?

OP posts:
Fatfunt · 09/02/2021 11:27

Yabu because yabu 😝

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:27

I didn't expect him to spend over an hour there to point out a couple of issues with the car!

OP posts:
Alexandernevermind · 09/02/2021 11:29

If they were outside and not on top of each other then the risk is very minimal. The fact that your DP wore a mask will protect him further. Even inside, garages tend to be open fronted, so lots of fresh air. Maybe the garage requires their staff to be regularly tested?

TiggerBounci · 09/02/2021 11:36

To put it as politely as possible, what's the big deal? Time wise, it's a bit controlling to be hounding someone because they're out spending one precious hour actually doing things and god forbid, chatting to people in society. Health wise it sounds like the risk was very minimal.

HelloThereMeHearties · 09/02/2021 11:38

@Alexandernevermind

If they were outside and not on top of each other then the risk is very minimal. The fact that your DP wore a mask will protect him further. Even inside, garages tend to be open fronted, so lots of fresh air. Maybe the garage requires their staff to be regularly tested?
Wearing a mask does not protect the person wearing the mask.

I would be angry too. First of all, they must be rubbish mechanics if he has to spend that amount of time explaining what needs doing. Secondly, they should have been wearing masks.

They'll have had their heads together, looking at the engine, or whatever. And that's when they'll have been breathing on him.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:40

In what way was I hounding my dp? Are'nt we all supposed to be social distancing atm? He wasn't

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 09/02/2021 11:45

How was he an hour showing them what the problem was? The mechanics should have worn a mask and your DP should have said something. My DP is a mechanic and they’re wearing masks the majority of the time and would keep a distance if someone was that keen to show them a problem

Azerothi · 09/02/2021 11:49

I voted YANBU. What on earth was your boyfriend talking about for an hour? Does it really take that long to explain what he wanted? Is that the only place he went?

SeasonFinale · 09/02/2021 11:50

The mechanics are working outside which may be why they aren't wearing masks. It sounds as though your DH was desperate to interact with other people outside of home if he has been wfh and perhaps it was he who outstayed his welcome.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:51

I honestly don't know why he took so long. And I also think they should have been wearing masks.

I have severe health anxiety and am terrified of coronavirus, my dp knows this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:57

He doesn't work from home but yes he does talk a lot. Still my point is he should have been more careful.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 09/02/2021 12:01

If he knows you are irrationally anxious about covid related issues then I am unsure why he even mentioned it at all.

StopGo · 09/02/2021 12:01

@Kaylasmum49 what are you doing about your severe health anxiety?

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 12:04

I am currently engaging with online cbt after being referred by my gp. I have also had my meds increased.

OP posts:
HugeAckmansWife · 09/02/2021 12:07

Sorry but YABU. I suppose ideally yes they should have been wearing masks but honestly, unless they are medical grade PPE I really doubt they do much anyway - most of mine are single layer, flimsy little things that go in and out of pcokets, on and off my face etc. Its entirely possible that he took the opportunity to enjoy a change of scene, a conversation with other people and just a bit of freedom (not from you, just the house). Your health anxiety is really not his problem to manage - you acknowledge that you have it and therefore presumably also acknowledge that your fear is OTT and irrational? Unless you are CEV, there really is no need for "terror" and certainly not on your DHs behalf.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 12:13

I am 54 and overweight so my risks are increased. More younger people are dying of coronavirus now and this scares me. My dp should have some consideration for my fears surely.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 09/02/2021 12:16

Sorry but YABU

  • garages are open air, so it’s like being outside
  • you have zero evidence they weren’t social distancing
  • most of your partner’s time would probably have been spent waiting to speak to mechanics. He would not have spent very long speaking with them
Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 12:21

planDeRaccordement how do you know what happened, and how long my dp spoke with them. Also the garage isn't open air, it's inside with an open front.

OP posts:
DDiva · 09/02/2021 12:26

It seems odd he spent so much time there but honestly it dosnt seem a great risk. It also seems odd that he needed to be there so long surely x is doing y and needs fixing /replacing wouldnt take an hour.

Are you sure he didnt just go for a walk or something ?

I imagine your anxiety and him having to justify himself to you could be quite wearing .....

Floridaflipflops · 09/02/2021 12:28

He was some where else but told you about the masks to divert your rage.

Job done

Wolfiefan · 09/02/2021 12:29

Your anxiety is the issue here.
Presumably the work on his vehicle couldn’t wait.
You’re not elderly or have any underlying issue that makes you CEV. Your fears are exaggerated.
(I say that as someone who is shielding and has anxiety which is under control!)

Yellow85 · 09/02/2021 12:31

I don’t think yabu, but it’s done now. I’d maybe just remind him of social distancing and perhaps use a different garage moving forward. My DH works in a garage although it’s practically outside they all have to wear a mask if they come within 2m of each other or a customer. They’ve had to adapt to new legislation and guidance the same as any other workplace and they’ve all been very sensible with it.

Dyrne · 09/02/2021 12:36

OP based on my experiences at garages I doubt he spent the whole hour talking in close proximity to the mechanics the whole time. Logically, it doesn’t make business sense to spend over an hour going over each car with a customer, without even taking into account the time to fix it.

In all likelihood there would have been a lot of standing around waiting.

Also why is the lack of distancing “obvious”? You can point out issues with bits of the car then step back to allow the mechanics to take a look.