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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with dp

66 replies

Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 11:10

My do went to a garage today to get his car fixed. He was away for well over an hour, the garage is 10 minutes away. He spent over an hour there showing the mechanics what was needing done. The mechanics weren't wearing masks, my dp says he was. I am now worried about the risks involved due to the time he spent there and the obvious lack of distancing.

Am I just worrying too much?

OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 09/02/2021 18:08

@RuggerHug

He could have asked them to wear masks and if they refused taken his business somewhere else. Some of the responses here show why the numbers are what they are. A fucking year into this and people still say what's the big deal, why bother with the most basic of precautions Hmm
Wny stop there? Let's go the whole hog and class OP's dh as a murderer. And any of us not getting in on the condemnation can be accessories!
sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/02/2021 18:11

@RuggerHug

He could have asked them to wear masks and if they refused taken his business somewhere else. Some of the responses here show why the numbers are what they are. A fucking year into this and people still say what's the big deal, why bother with the most basic of precautions Hmm
You have no idea if OP's DP was even within two metres of them!
MaskingForIt · 09/02/2021 18:11

@Kaylasmum49

In what way was I hounding my dp? Are'nt we all supposed to be social distancing atm? He wasn't
Essential car repairs aren’t social.
Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 18:11

I can assure you that my dp does not walk on eggshells around me. I take responsibility for my anxiety and I do my best to not let it affect my family.

None of you know me but are all telling me how awful I must be to live with and how tough it must be on my dp when the truth of the matter is that my dp is emotionally abusive and controlling and has certainly been a contributing factor in the breakdown of my mental health. I am currently trying to leave him and being supported by womens aid. I didn't mention any of this previously as it had nothing to do with my previous post.

OP posts:
Dyrne · 09/02/2021 18:13

That’s one hell of a drip feed, OP.

Bluntness100 · 09/02/2021 18:14

@Kaylasmum49

Ok fair enough, I was being unreasonable but I didn't make a big deal over it at all. I have an adult ds who has severe mental health issues which leads to him self harming. He is very reactive to people's opinions of him, so because of that I am mindful of things that I say/do to him. Considering other people's feelings is important. Are you all in relationships where you don't give a damn about how your actions could impact on your oh?
I don’t really understand the relevance here, I’m sorry,

However to be fair I don’t understand how he spent an hour telling mechanics what the issues were.

Are you sure that’s where he was?

Bluntness100 · 09/02/2021 18:15

Sorry cross posted, I didnt see the post on the abuse.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 18:22

As I said, I didn't mention it because it wasn't relevant to my post but I am not the person that I have been portrayed to be.

I am worried about coronavirus, I just wanted some opinions whether I was worrying too much. Under normal times I couldn't care less where my dp goes or for how long but these aren't normal times and I know that he tends to talk for ages and isn't really that careful about masks/social distancing etc.

OP posts:
CandlesBlanketsandTea · 09/02/2021 18:25

@Kaylasmum49

I can assure you that my dp does not walk on eggshells around me. I take responsibility for my anxiety and I do my best to not let it affect my family.

None of you know me but are all telling me how awful I must be to live with and how tough it must be on my dp when the truth of the matter is that my dp is emotionally abusive and controlling and has certainly been a contributing factor in the breakdown of my mental health. I am currently trying to leave him and being supported by womens aid. I didn't mention any of this previously as it had nothing to do with my previous post.

Possibly the biggest drip feed I've ever seen on a thread.
CandlesBlanketsandTea · 09/02/2021 18:26

OP you have bigger issues than an hour at the mechanics, I really think you need to seek out some help and leave this relationship if it's abusive.

bitliketonyhares · 09/02/2021 18:30

Wow 😳
Drip feed of the century - expecting him to hurry when he needs his car fixed so you feel better, and getting annoyed because you think he took too long - is also emotionally abusive.
Just something to consider before you throw the emotional abuse term around.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 18:33

I have already said that I am trying to leave with the help of womens aid. I only added that information due to all the posts making out that I am some neurotic mess and my dp must be living a life of hell!

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 09/02/2021 18:38

I didn't expect him to hurry, I was concerned about the potential of transmission of the virus if there had been prolonged contact. Do you just make things up? He can do what the hell he wants but I would prefer him not to take risks while we are still living in the same house. I would be happy for him to leave the house and stay away for hours, it wouldn't bother me.

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 09/02/2021 18:40

unmarkedbythat and sunflowersandbuttercups It really isn't difficult. You want to joke about murder that's your panic/exaggeration on what I said. But any business/company that can't extend the most basic safety concern towards their customers or their staff would not be getting my money.

Let me guess, if you needed essential work done in your home now you wouldn't wear a mask for the person coming into your home because 'it's my home and I DAHN WANNAAAAH'

LaMarschallin · 09/02/2021 19:14

because 'it's my home and I DAHN WANNAAAAH'

Have you ever thought of applying for a job as a scriptwriter on "Eastenders"?

I could distinctly hear "doof doofs" after that last sentence.

RuggerHug · 09/02/2021 19:18

LaMarschallin Ha! Haven't even seen it in years but sure I'd give it a go Grin

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