Would this be unreasonable?

[Whatnow21]

If a woman in her early forties met a man in his late 30's, then 6 months later she gets a life changing illness that makes her unable to have children.
He wants a family and has set up his life, career and home to be able to do so.
They don't live together but love each other and get along amazingly in every way.
WSBU to carry on with this relationship?
Or should she leave him be and let him carry on with his life the way he planned it? Even if it hurts.

@Dontknowmuchabouthistory
There's a greater chance of recurrence which is potentially life threatening.

I haven't had surgery and I didn't start chemo until just before Christmas.
We spent a lot of time together after the first lockdown, (it was difficult but we stuck to the rules) up until chemo started. We decided we were in it for the long haul, before and after my diagnosis.

You are absolutely right, which is why I came on here to get different and honest opinions.
It is a young relationship, which is why it would be better to end it now.

which is why it would be better to end it now.

Better for who? Better for you, so you don't possibly get hurt in the future if he walks? Do you think he is the type of person that could do this? Or is he the type to stick it out? This could be a case of 'cut off your nose to spite your face'. In effect, perhaps you are seeking control at a time where you feel you have none (with regards to treatment)?

Better for him? Let him make his own decision for himself. I don't think any of us would like others making decisions for us, as if they know better!

I would right now live in the moment @Whatnow21. None of us know what will happen in the future, so if he's saying he's committed to you then accept that. If you find it hard to accept, then that may be other emotions at play that need exploring with support.

I hope your treatment is going ok, this is such a tough time for you, just be kind to yourself xx

@CrappingMyself another good point.
I really don't want to have to end it and his support has been so helpful.
I can learn to live in the moment and see what happens.
Ugh so many things to consider

@StressedTired

He might have planned for kids, but if he's been with you for this long and you love each other then he must understand the possibility of natural conception vs age. Like others have said, it could happen but it's difficult. There are other ways, egg donation, adoption, fostering, surrogacy, pets. Re the illness though, if he loves you he would want to support you through this. If my partner was sick and broke up with me because they assumed I'd want to be released from the burden I'd be so hurt. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself by bringing the issue of children into the situation when you need to just focus on yourself and getting better. Sorry you are sick, I hope you recover soon!

I think this is good advice about your BF. Maybe he won't be able to cope, my DH couldn't in the end, but I have a very different illness, and when we made the decision to stay together in the face of years of pain and limitations we were idealistic 19 year olds who thought love could conquer all. You say your BF is a good man, he's old enough to know himself, to know what he wants out of and what he can cope with and he deserves to be a part of the decision.

That's a lot to take on, only 6 months into a relationship. But ultimately it's his shout as to whether he stays or goes.
What a tricky situation for them to be in, and I hope it all works out for the best.