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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be livid relative called my 2 year old slow?

67 replies

dhony · 08/02/2021 12:05

Relative said to me " he is very behind isn't he "

23 month old has plenty of words , talks a lot mostly babble . Has fantastic receptive understanding . Nil concerns from nursery or health visitor .

Older relative looked at me and said " he is very behind isn't he " For context he said this after repeatedly telling toddler to say dog over and over again whilst toddler was trying to eat his lunch

FYI I straight away said no he is not behind ! Also said not to be in his face demanding he talks .

Why do people have to be so vile

OP posts:
Original poster
dhony · 08/02/2021 12:06

He did follow it up with very slow . Hence the title

OP posts:
birdling · 08/02/2021 14:45

Say 'oh, he must take after you then!'

lioncitygirl · 08/02/2021 14:47

He sounds like an idiot! Pay him no mind OP.

HitchFlix · 08/02/2021 14:48

What a dickhead. Who says such a thing? Child wouldn't blindly obey his orders (how annoying pestering the child to say dog?!) so he deemed him slow?

tentimesaday · 08/02/2021 14:49

Ignore.

MadameButterface · 08/02/2021 14:51

Just ignore, people say all sorts of stupid things.

RedMarauder · 08/02/2021 14:55

Ignore.

And you shouldn't be livid when idiots comment on how slow/average/advanced your toddler is. They forget that toddlers are people and all people are different individuals.

RedMarauder · 08/02/2021 14:56

Oh and don't worry your toddler will be annoying the relative in a year when he doesn't stop talking.

Imloosingmyshit · 08/02/2021 15:05

Don’t give this person head space. Some people don’t think before they say things. Some people say things they don’t think is offensive but it actually is. Sorry dint know how to help you but some people are just mean for no reason.

YouJustDoYou · 08/02/2021 15:07

Welcome to the world of everyone judging you, your parenting, and your kids. You'll either learn to grow a thick skin about it, or not. You know your child - ignore the judging. I had people say the same about my son when he was younger. I used to cry over it, but now I just stay away from the judgie McJudgersons. They're not worth tour time or energy.

Gliblet · 08/02/2021 15:16

Long hard stare - "sometimes it skips a generation...". Or you can question when/where they got their Child Development qualification. If you can conjure up a fit of hysterical giggling and then a hasty apology that might work. Or point out that children don't usually respond enthusiastically to abject boredom.

Or you can just flatly ignore them and congratulate yourself on having been saddled with them and not having chosen to have them as part of your life.

KarensChoppyBob · 08/02/2021 15:19

Twat.

Eeeeeeeeeeeek · 08/02/2021 15:19

How bad mannered of them, I'd tell them to their face not to be so rude

Anycrispsleft · 08/02/2021 15:32

It makes you wonder how they were with their own kids, doesn't it? I always suspect the blokes of having done like my FIL who effectively ignored all his offspring until they were old enough to join in his hobbies Hmm

AmyandPhilipfan · 08/02/2021 15:34

I’m guessing they either didn’t have children of their own or they left all the childcare to their partner so actually can’t remember what kids are like at that age. I have an old uncle a bit like this. It’s a family joke how much he can’t stand children, but in other ways he’s very nice so we all put up with him!

crosstalk · 08/02/2021 16:23

Einstein didn't speak till he was 5. And was considered slow at school.

Just ignore - or like PPs have said say it does seem to run in the family.

HollowTalk · 08/02/2021 16:25

Is this your dad or FIL?

It's a very rude thing to say and very unhelpful.

Whyistheteacold · 08/02/2021 16:28

@KarensChoppyBob

Twat.
What she said
ThatIsNotMyUsername · 08/02/2021 16:30

How horrid!

Apparently I rarely spoke until I went to school (when I was 3) - but I could! A relative was a child psychologist and she told my (concerned) parents - yes she can talk, doesn’t stop when she gets going but just can’t get a word on edgeways (Youngest of many kids, one of whom would always answer for me - and she still does). She also added ‘she is quite smart - she’s just observing you all and learning...’ (which probably freaked them out). Roll on a couple of years and mum used to complain that I never shut up!

Gatehouse77 · 08/02/2021 16:49

I wouldn't be livid.
I'd be thinking what an arse the relative is and wouldn't spend any more head space or my time thinking about it. Wasted energy that could be spent having fun with my child.

Original poster
dhony · 08/02/2021 16:49

FIL - in 80s

OP posts:
Original poster
dhony · 08/02/2021 16:51

Sorry I mean FILs Dad

OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 08/02/2021 16:52

I don't think I'd be cross, but I almost certainly would be rude.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/02/2021 17:21

@RedMarauder

Oh and don't worry your toddler will be annoying the relative in a year when he doesn't stop talking.
This, with knobs on!

When ds1 was just under two years old, he had a vocabulary of 35 words - and a sizeable proportion of them were words only his loving parents could understand - we knew that an air-see-see was an airplane, and a cor-cuck-cuck was a helicopter, for example.

By the time he went to school, he could talk the hind leg off a donkey - especially on trains, which were his Specialist Subject. It was funny to watch him pin adults down and tell them train facts until their eyes glazed over and we had to rescue them.

He went on to study law - a subject where you need to be able to argue cases verbally, and do so fluently, so his later start in talking has not held him back at all - and I am sure the same will be true if your son.

As my mum said to me, when ds1 was born - “You will spend the first two years teaching him to walk and talk, and the next sixteen telling him to sit down and shut up!” - and she wasn’t far wrong.

ChablisandCrisps · 08/02/2021 17:24

Of course it is rude to say he is slow but he may have been coming from a caring place? My 4 could all hold a basic conversation by 2 so maybe he is concerned for you? But you know him better and whether he is being tactless or nasty

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