To be livid relative called my 2 year old slow?

[dhony]

Relative said to me " he is very behind isn't he "

23 month old has plenty of words , talks a lot mostly babble . Has fantastic receptive understanding . Nil concerns from nursery or health visitor .

Older relative looked at me and said " he is very behind isn't he " For context he said this after repeatedly telling toddler to say dog over and over again whilst toddler was trying to eat his lunch

FYI I straight away said no he is not behind ! Also said not to be in his face demanding he talks .

Why do people have to be so vile

@ChablisandCrisps

Of course it is rude to say he is slow but he may have been coming from a caring place? My 4 could all hold a basic conversation by 2 so maybe he is concerned for you? But you know him better and whether he is being tactless or nasty

I trust your four darlings are multilingual of course?

"I'll tell you what was really behind and slow in developing, dear FIL. Your tiny cock."

I would have looked at him and said is he?

Don't pay it any attention. Silly old fool

There is no point getting livid over things like this.

He probably thought it was true - people who have not been around young kids for a log time often forget what they are like.

And while it was an awkward thing to say, I it doesn't seem like it was meant rudely. Some people don't filter out comments well, especially in family life. Some people get worse at it as they get older, too.

I'd just say, he's within normal range for his age. He's just really interested in his lunch at the moment."

I don't know why I'm getting crap. I said it was anecdotal! Perhaps my lot are in the minority then, I was only sharing my experience and quite clearly stated he was rude but if his children also spoke at 2 he might have been coming from a good if tactless place!

@ChablisandCrisps

I don't know why I'm getting crap. I said it was anecdotal! Perhaps my lot are in the minority then, I was only sharing my experience and quite clearly stated he was rude but if his children also spoke at 2 he might have been coming from a good if tactless place!

You’re ‘getting crap’ because your post sounded smug and yet full of faux concern and inferred that the nasty old twit might be onto something. But I think you know that.

I’d honestly take no notice.

Smug?! Right, okay.

@ChablisandCrisps

Smug?! Right, okay.

OP you have to ignore old people who make comments like this. They’re from another time and often have no filter. They have zero impact and your son won’t understand so just put it to the back of your mind or respond with something condescending like “oh dear FIL, you are getting very old and forgetting what toddlers are like!”

My granny often made silly comments just to have something to say. We all ignored her and laughed behind her back - takes the sting out of it. My favourite was “wow conker, you’ve definitely been enjoying your meals recently haven’t you!” I’m not remotely overweight and I knew my granny loved me so it wasn’t meant to sting. I think she just couldn’t think of anything else to say!

I experienced a birth injury. It affected my development and left me with physical and learning issues. I didn’t walk until 18 months old, couldn’t ride a bike until I was 11, and struggled with school, etc. My perfect cousin was born 2 months later, met all her milestones, etc, walked early, talked early, excelled at sport, dancing, played piano, etc, and generally displayed proctoheliosis at every turn. That girl’s knickers were solar powered, to hear my aunt. She spent the first 14 years of our lives saying how slow I was, was Mum worried about me, did they think I was ‘you know......normal?’, etc, and made my mum feel absolutely inadequate. And then, MPC discovered alcohol, tobacco and drugs, disengaged from school, and chucked the whole lot away. So, I’m the one with two degrees, an HND, qualified teacher, specialist midwife, etc, and MPC remains unemployed. Mum has spent the last 39 years flicking V’s behind my aunt’s back, which makes her feel petty, but oddly satisfied. Ignore the rudeness. It’s born of ignorance, and ill informed belief in some arbitrary norm. I bet he is a wonderful little boy.

Why does it worry you if an old man says your child is slow?

I think I may be right in saying that within that man's life time "moron" "cretin" and "imbecile" were official education terms which we would never use now.

"Slow" might just be a non-judgemental word to an old man.

If your child isn't slow, why get so defensive about it?

I'd be a bit concerned if my 23 month old was mainly babbling but it was rude of the relative to say the things he did.

OP, toddlers may choose not to say a lot, and definitely not when someone is chivvying them. They are pretty good judges of character, and based on the way FILSDAD was behaving towards him, why should he talk when he was trying to eat his lunch?

Had they taken any notice of him in a positive way, engaged him with his toys, been gentle and friendly? Or did they just sit there making judgements.

@Completelyunassertive

I'd be a bit concerned if my 23 month old was mainly babbling but it was rude of the relative to say the things he did.

Some 23 month olds do babble though.

It isn't anything to be concerned about as it's in the normal range of toddler development.

Just like a toddler who converses with you at the same age.

"FIL, I think your slooooooow digestive transit in old age means you haven't laid a stinky log for two weeks and so you've started talking shit instead. Poor you, shall we get the nurse in to shove a hose up your bum."

@ChablisandCrisps

I don't know why I'm getting crap. I said it was anecdotal! Perhaps my lot are in the minority then, I was only sharing my experience and quite clearly stated he was rude but if his children also spoke at 2 he might have been coming from a good if tactless place!

You are seriously saying after having 4 children that you don't know that toddler speech development varies at 2 years old? Because that's how your post comes across.