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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snow on cars

215 replies

PerfectlyPortioned · 08/02/2021 11:04

We live next door to a playground that's covered in thick snow this morning. Lots of kids playing in it. A mother was standing watching her kids scraping all the snow off our 2 cars to make snowballs (parked in our drive which is open to the road) and I asked her (perfectly nicely) not to incase the cars get scratched. She looked at me like I was totally mad. Didn't want to be a killjoy but they are new cars (and on our drive).... I genuinely don't think I would let my kids do that....

WIBU?

OP posts:
cheeseismydownfall · 08/02/2021 13:28

I've told my children not to take snow off cars, irrespective of where they are parked. It just seems rude to me. Even more so if they are on someone's drive!

Rewis · 08/02/2021 13:30

You dont touch other peoples cars. I don't understand how this is a debate.

Devlesko · 08/02/2021 13:32

YANBU, cf let her kids on your property.
There are some entitled parents about.

Fileexplorerrrr · 08/02/2021 13:33

I dont understand the people saying YBU.

I wouldn’t be happy either.
Like other OP’s have said, what if their zips or buttons etc scratch the car?
I don’t think it’s on at all and I would say something too!

YANBU.

SpiceRat · 08/02/2021 13:33

It’s not so much the act of the kids taking the snow off it’s the lack of parenting children to respect other people’s property. It’s not acceptable for grown adults to walk around wandering onto other people’s properties and start messing with stuff, or touching someone else’s car parked on the street even, so teach your children that. The magic of snow isn’t an excuse.

Elai1978 · 08/02/2021 13:34

It doesn’t unless they’re painting cars with icing these days. If the paint on a car can’t stand up to that - and a lot worse - it’s not fit for purpose.

It absolutely does damage the paint! We’re talking very fine scratches here but damage nonetheless. Washing a car causes very fine scratches as well no matter what you do to minimise them.

WaxOnFeckOff · 08/02/2021 13:36

I had a similar issue with kids going into my back garden to collect balls when i was out at work.

I'm not trying to deny anyone getting their ball back, but I expect to be asked or I will pop it back over when it's convenient.

That might not seem reasonable, i mean they are only collecting a ball right? But like PP says, it's a safety issue, i don't have young children anymore, that means my garden isn't necessarily safe at all times for children to go running in to. I don't want to be accountable for some child stepping on a bit of slippy wood, or a nail or over some bricks or whatever.

BillMasen · 08/02/2021 13:39

@Elai1978

It doesn’t unless they’re painting cars with icing these days. If the paint on a car can’t stand up to that - and a lot worse - it’s not fit for purpose.

It absolutely does damage the paint! We’re talking very fine scratches here but damage nonetheless. Washing a car causes very fine scratches as well no matter what you do to minimise them.

This. Just because you don’t understand that or care about it doesn’t make those that do precious.
Wearywithteens · 08/02/2021 13:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

dgirluk · 08/02/2021 13:41

“It doesn’t unless they’re painting cars with icing these days. If the paint on a car can’t stand up to that - and a lot worse - it’s not fit for purpose”

Couldn’t agree more, but my car does scratch if you do that. IMO it isn’t fit for purpose either, but nothing I can do about it. Lots of cars are super soft paint, I think it was a change in paint formulation a few years ago because of environmental reasons.

Redact · 08/02/2021 13:41

YANBU - I wouldn't have let my DC scrape snow off a car in the street let alone go into someone's driveway to do this.

Sparrowfeeder · 08/02/2021 13:43

If you have a tesla, just turn on the heating button and the snow melts off it anyway. Satisfying, no scraping needed ever.

If you don’t, then people will scrape snow off it for snowballs, not much you can do!

VinylDetective · 08/02/2021 13:43

@Elai1978

It doesn’t unless they’re painting cars with icing these days. If the paint on a car can’t stand up to that - and a lot worse - it’s not fit for purpose.

It absolutely does damage the paint! We’re talking very fine scratches here but damage nonetheless. Washing a car causes very fine scratches as well no matter what you do to minimise them.

In which case it clearly isn’t fit for purpose. Why would you paint something that spends most of its life outside with a substance that scratches if you wash it? It’s bonkers.
Notjustanymum · 08/02/2021 13:46

If your cars are dirty (like mine, having been on the motorway recently, and you haven’t had the chance or the weather to get them clean), moving that dirt across the car with even the softest gloved hand could result in any underlying grit/dirt to cause scratches on paintwork. To have scratches repaired as we did in 2019 (re-sprayed - luckily, under warranty) came in with a cost of over £900.00, so if any kids were to try the same on my car, on my drive, I would not be even remotely polite to any parent watching, I can tell you!

PattyPan · 08/02/2021 13:53

Well I don’t see how it would scratch your car so YABU in that sense. YANBU that they shouldn’t have gone onto your land though. Personally I would have said to her that your kids wanted to use that snow - I can see where your DD is coming from that they stole her snow!

Armi · 08/02/2021 14:02

@Rewis

You dont touch other peoples cars. I don't understand how this is a debate.
This.
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 08/02/2021 14:03

YANBU for the reasons already detailed. I think also kids making snowballs are unlikely to be gathering the snow carefully and zips etc absolutely will catch and scratch.

Slightly off topic but DH, DD and I were once e sat in the car whilst stationary, engine off in a fairly cramped bowling car park. We'd been bowling and we're trying to agree which of the nearby food places to go to for lunch.

A dad and x 4 young teen lads returned to their car parked next to us and proceeded to pile it. And both the lads using their front passenger seat and one behind d him bashed their doors into us. Quite hard too. DH rolled the window down and politely said to kids "c'mon lads, mid our car please". Cue they all just stared at us but the bloke (guessing dad to one or more) said a casual "careful " and they continued faffing about removing coats before getting into the car and in doing so opening their doors further and bashing ours again! DH said "Jesus" to me but unfortunately heard by Cave Dad who screeched "FFS I've already told them. Back of." Yes you had you knobbier but the clumsy oafs clearly didn't hear/understand you and don't give a shit about the property of others!!! Granted DH maybe should have kept quiet but their arrogance was hard to ignore. And other chaps reaction was pretty aggressive. I wonder what lesson those young men will take from that encounter ... Confused

Bloodypunkrockers · 08/02/2021 14:04

@ThinkAboutItTomorrow

You're a misery guts.

Unless as possible said they went on your drive to get snow. If it's just a parked car you're being unreasonable

A misery guts?

How fucking rude

CleverCatty · 08/02/2021 14:07

@surreymum89

How do you all get snow off your cars in general? Would this not scratch it too then?
I use a special ice scraper that presumably Halfords sold me as it is safe to use on my car windscreen etc.

Different to a random metal button or zip from someone's coat.

Also different because I am choosing to use this and take the rap if it damages my car, as opposed to someone else doing it without my authority (yes the last three words sound very Nazi/Stasi etc).

ginghamtablecloths · 08/02/2021 14:08

It would have been polite of her to ask first. Some people seem to have forgotten their manners and are so ignorant that they don't realise that they're being rude.

CleverCatty · 08/02/2021 14:09

Bloodypunkrockers - are some people going to add the winning Covid 19 words:-

"But it's a pandemic, the poor children have suffered so much from being cooped up inside during the third lockdown!"

As if scraping snow off a random car in someone's drive is the solution to 'make them feel better'.

Won't someone please think of the children?!

10kaDay · 08/02/2021 14:11

YANBU at all. Coming onto your drive is the worst of it - its trespass, and if the children got hurt on your property it causes you issues

Touching your car - also not ok. I wouldn't dream of allowing kids to touch a stranger's car. Friends/friendly neighbours cars parked on the road... maybe if all on good terms. Kids might try but parents' role is to teach kids what is ok or not.

Likewise, as an adult I would not touch someone else's car knowingly and would be annoyed if someone touched my car even if parked on the street. Kids might not realise this but adults should know better

CleverCatty · 08/02/2021 14:12

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

YANBU for the reasons already detailed. I think also kids making snowballs are unlikely to be gathering the snow carefully and zips etc absolutely will catch and scratch.

Slightly off topic but DH, DD and I were once e sat in the car whilst stationary, engine off in a fairly cramped bowling car park. We'd been bowling and we're trying to agree which of the nearby food places to go to for lunch.

A dad and x 4 young teen lads returned to their car parked next to us and proceeded to pile it. And both the lads using their front passenger seat and one behind d him bashed their doors into us. Quite hard too. DH rolled the window down and politely said to kids "c'mon lads, mid our car please". Cue they all just stared at us but the bloke (guessing dad to one or more) said a casual "careful " and they continued faffing about removing coats before getting into the car and in doing so opening their doors further and bashing ours again! DH said "Jesus" to me but unfortunately heard by Cave Dad who screeched "FFS I've already told them. Back of." Yes you had you knobbier but the clumsy oafs clearly didn't hear/understand you and don't give a shit about the property of others!!! Granted DH maybe should have kept quiet but their arrogance was hard to ignore. And other chaps reaction was pretty aggressive. I wonder what lesson those young men will take from that encounter ... Confused

In this case, the father and the teen boys were rude.

Showing my age, but if I'd dared have behaved that way when I was younger, I would've been told off harshly. Those same parents who were taught manners by their parents sadly don't always instil the same values in their offspring.

Funkypickle · 08/02/2021 14:12

Yanbu. It's a car parked on a private drive. No way, just a big fat no. And that goes for cars parked on the street as well. I would never let my dc do this.

I can't believe ppl are saying yabu. It's seems fairly simple and straightforward.

It's other peoples property. And as parents we should be helping our dc understand and respect that.

Elai1978 · 08/02/2021 14:16

In which case it clearly isn’t fit for purpose. Why would you paint something that spends most of its life outside with a substance that scratches if you wash it? It’s bonkers.

I suggest you complain to every car and automotive paint maker then. Google “swirl marks”.