To ask where would you be now if you had no family to worry about pleasing

[Allhotairballoons]

No husband/partner
No children
No parents or siblings
No ties of any kind

Imagine if overnight any geographically limiting obligations or familial ties completely evaporated. Simply failed to exist.

How would you curate your life, given the choice?

I'd pack my suitcase and move to Edinburgh or Cornwall. I'd work as a land and estate manager on a beautiful property outside the city, or perhaps something in conservation/wildlife protection. I'd be outdoors for much of my day and would come home tired, windswept and content.

I'd travel several times a year and I'd date both at home and in foreign cities without the pressure to settle down. I'd enjoy intense, albeit fleeting, connections with different men.

I probably wouldn't choose to live with a man again.

I'd become a more adventurous cook without other people's dietary requirements and schedules to work around. I'd buy fewer material possessions and would spend more on good food and wine.

I'd go to the sea more often and get out on the water. Or perhaps I'd live near the river and scrape together enough for a little day-cruiser.

Where would you go? What job would you have if you weren't tied to your existing location or required a particular pay-level to support your dependants?

Is there anything you would do differently if you didn't need to worry about how your parents or siblings would perceive it?

I genuinely feel that my parents, siblings, husband and children have added value to my life rather then held me back. Sure, I have ideas about where DH will live once the kids are old enough to fend for themselves but I don’t wish to be anywhere else right now.

If I didn’t have family with me/near me/at all I’d be miserable, constantly yearning for them. Living in a lovely environment wouldn’t change that.

I'd live in the wilds of Scotland in a cosy but basic cabin, with no Internet and write novels. I'd hike, wild swim, run and grow my own food.

I'd have a mobile home and roam around. Get money from doing any type of job that pays enough.

If I didn’t have a husband or children I’d likely be in FTE working towards my future career, and I’d live in the city in a shared place, where there are great transport links.

I’d probably see what this dating app malarkey is about, and look around for someone who is fun to be around and enjoys things that I might be interested in.

I’m a pretty good cook but don’t cook anything much for myself, as I don’t see the point, so I’d likely be skinnier. I’d probably host dinner parties for friends, though all of my friends have partners and children so I’d need to make new ones too.

I’d probably (in non-Covid times) be part of a Zumba group, go to more concerts, and have more haircuts and nice things. I’d definitely do more travelling (cliche!) and see more places.

All of this being said, my hypothetical life wouldn’t make me want to go back and change anything.
Whenever I would look to settle down, I’d only be looking for someone exactly like my husband - kind, supportive, genuine, funny, intelligent and interesting. And I may never find them, and that’d be a shame. Having someone in my life to share the good and bad times with, is something important to me, and I like living with someone else.

I’m in PT education moving on to Uni in the next year or two with placements included. It’s a longer route but it’s the same destination.

My children are brilliant, and though I feel like pulling my hair out at times, they bring more happiness to my life than I ever realised was possible.

I’d be a very different person without the responsibilities I have now, I have wondered before how different I would be and what I’d be like.

I’d be searching for them.

Drunk, in Cambodia or Bolvia.

I would be very lonely.
I lived alone and carefree for years before getting married and having kids and while I enjoyed that carefree phase I love family life just as much.

Thanks for posting this. I’m almost in the situation you describe. My marriage ended a few years ago, no children. I’ve been sad about never having children and being alone but I actually feel really lucky In a way. I have a lovely life. I can sit in my pjs and do nothing all day if I want. Pre lockdown I could go for drinks after work whenever i wanted. I spent £75 On a bottle of wine for myself for Christmas Day and £50 on Parisian chocolates , I have lots of friends, nice house which is always tidy, I see my family regularly. I’m moving soon to live walking distance to town to a lovely home.
I think if I play your game completely then without my family I would definitely move to the coast. I can see that in my future when my parents are no longer here. And I’d do a more creative job - an interior designer. Would own a dog and maybe I’d actually live the winter somewhere like skiathos.

And 100% never living with a man again

I find it hard to imagine life without DS, (it’s just the two of us) but I do often fantasise about packing DS and I up, and moving to Barcelona.

I’d set up a bookshop (catering to Spanish and international customers) that put on lovely multilingual events in the evenings; the shop would be just down the street from our flat in Eixample barrio.

I hold out hope it could happen one day!

I'd move to Glasgow. I'm in Cheshire at the moment - but I've wanted to live in Scotland for a few years now.

Gosh what a depressing thought to have no ties.

I’d have gone to uni straight from school and either studied law or civil engineeeing. I may have gone into politics if id studied law. Who knows

I’d never have met DH and I don’t know if I’d be married or have kids.

Would i be happier? Not then I am now but it would have probably been so much easier to get a career to a reasonable point.

I would move to Cornwall or Devon although Scottish highlands also appeals.

Chose a cottage semi rural to live in.

Get a job wherever I move to and write in my spare time with the hope of getting my writing published at some point but I fully accept I would need another job alongside it.

Fairly flexible on type of job. See what took my fancy and apply for that/them.

I would go for long walks on beaches or countryside. Pursue my interest in history also.

And on cold wet days etc do various crafts.

Happy to stay single. (After long messy divorce). would not rule out a new relationship but would not go looking for one.

Just a simple life would do me fine.

Scotland appeals to me also, except for it’s too cold, so maybe end up in Wales instead.

I’d live in a small town with a railway station, nearer a big city with a decent theatre etc. There would be nice countryside around.

I’d love to work in a cosy little bookshop, although people don’t buy so many books nowadays 😟

I like the idea of travelling, but am not a natural adventurer.

I'd be where I am! Love my city and love my job. Don't feel tied to either. I'd consume more of the things I love (art, theatre) possibly?

I'm content with my lot but it's taken a lot of time and therapy to get to this point so I can't imagine how I could make it better, I feel that I'm restricted by money really.

I'd love to live alone with a large garden. I'd have a rose garden in my back garden and rambling or climbing roses in the front. I've always wanted to live by the sea too. I'm restricted financially here, I can't imagine buying a house with a single person's income.

I'd go on holiday every year, drive to new places across the UK for weekend breaks, go out for how ever long I wanted, wear whatever I wanted, date/marry/leave whoever I liked.

I'd be miserable.

Single and happy in a flat/little house in London. Theatre every week, browsing vintage stores, cycling through parks. Heaven.

@Allhotairballoons Like a few others here, I couldn't even imagine being with DH and DD, my cats, and my family. Would rather have them any day, than be single, with no 'ties...' The nomadic lifestyle (with no-one in your life,) is not for me at all.

I gather you are not happy? Can't be if you're fantasising about a different life.

I think it would depend upon how much money I had and whether I wanted to meet someone (I’m assuming I would want to settle down and have kids in those circs but perhaps not if I wound the clock either backwards or forwards by 20 years).

I would almost be tempted to move to England or Scotland, perhaps somewhere rural where you can get a lot of house for your money and live the ‘good life’ (keep chickens, grow veg etc) but still with decent links to London or another major city so I could go there for a day trip. Or maybe I would live a more nomadic life (also more relaxed than now) and travel the world, spending a few months in each (exotic) place.

My fantasy is a chic apartment with a terrace right in the historic (not modern) centre of a city or town. Decorated exactly how I like. Id still do the work I do now. Travel a lot. Lots of arts and culture.

But I think I'd be sad after a while and wish I'd experienced marriage and kids.

I would live by the beach in Sayulita, Mexico.

And I adore my family and children btw. Thinking about this stuff doesn't mean you are unhappy.

Right this minute? I'd be in bed with a cocktail not having to cook for anyone 🍸. I'd miss them too much tho

I'd live in the outer hebrides alone. I'd garden and cook for money.I'd splice specimens and make new hybrids.
I'd be solo forever but would have many cats. I love them.