To ask where would you be now if you had no family to worry about pleasing

[Allhotairballoons]

No husband/partner
No children
No parents or siblings
No ties of any kind

Imagine if overnight any geographically limiting obligations or familial ties completely evaporated. Simply failed to exist.

How would you curate your life, given the choice?

I'd pack my suitcase and move to Edinburgh or Cornwall. I'd work as a land and estate manager on a beautiful property outside the city, or perhaps something in conservation/wildlife protection. I'd be outdoors for much of my day and would come home tired, windswept and content.

I'd travel several times a year and I'd date both at home and in foreign cities without the pressure to settle down. I'd enjoy intense, albeit fleeting, connections with different men.

I probably wouldn't choose to live with a man again.

I'd become a more adventurous cook without other people's dietary requirements and schedules to work around. I'd buy fewer material possessions and would spend more on good food and wine.

I'd go to the sea more often and get out on the water. Or perhaps I'd live near the river and scrape together enough for a little day-cruiser.

Where would you go? What job would you have if you weren't tied to your existing location or required a particular pay-level to support your dependants?

Is there anything you would do differently if you didn't need to worry about how your parents or siblings would perceive it?

You might find the reality slightly less glamorous as you'd be tied to a job that would pay the mortgage with only one income. (So probably not something windblown in wildlife protection unless it came with a tied bothy!)
That aside - I don't know any adult woman who leads their life in order to conform to parents' or siblings' expectations. Mine would think I'd gone bonkers if I consulted them!

Here. I have family but they don't require pleasing.

I'm free to make a choice.

I’d be in Central America visiting friends. I’d lead a nomadic lifestyle but would have as my base a huge and beautiful artist studio full of natural light and stunning views, where I’d create sculptures which I’d charge a fortune for to find my nomadic lifestyle. I’d be lonely though and probably drink a lot and take a lot of drugs to compensate.

By the sound of it I'd probably live quite near Showofhands. But not too near 'cos I don't think either of us want neighbours

I think I'd probably be dead.

I genuinely think I'd go off the rails and wind up killing myself. Not intentionally but because I wouldn't have reason to look after myself.

I'd be earning 5X as much as I am now in a beautiful location, and miserable as sin because I didn't have DH and DC to annoy me.

Pretty much where I was before I met DH.

Gosh, my family have only added to my life, I don't need to please them at all.
To be without them, I would be in a really bad place.

I'd rent out the house and travel very cheaply with very little around Asia indefinitely.

I'd like to explore becoming a zen monk.

Lottery win so is never have to work again.

Beach house but elevated on a hill looking out to the beach.

I’d get a camper van and just roam around Europe, staying as long as I please in each place, learning languages, buying local food. But I also think whatever I chose to do or where I decided to live I’d feel it was a bit empty without them.

I'd be living in a bigger house in the next town over and I'd be about 3 grades above where I am now in relation to work and in a slightly different field. I'd go on holiday twice a year and visit my dsis in the Highlands every Christmas.
But, I wouldn't be without my ds, he means the absolute world to me and I yearned for him for years without knowing it.

I love the idea of AnaisNun's bookshop.

Bookshop's have been all-but priced out of London. It's incredibly sad. They are lovely places, full of ideas, adventures and unexpected possibilities.

I have a teen... just waiting until he leaves then I'll be freeeeeeeeeeee

Southern Spain... DH is willing to come with me, but his parents would hate me. I was so happy living there. It felt more like home than anywhere else.

Also I'd be travelling around the world... pottering around just doing as I please ahhhh I can hear it now
Freeeeedoooommmmm

Great thread, I often used to think how different the world would be if no-one had family, social, religious, cultural obligations on them, i.e people were truly free to be who they wanted to be without repercussions, I think the world would be a happier place.

Fair enough if you’re happy with your lot in life, that’s great. But when I was growing up I was never free to be me due to religion, cultural expectations.

Now I am free, I’m happily married with children. I do always think my life would’ve been completely different if I’d have been free to make my own choices and live my own life as a teenager and young adult.

In another life, I think I would definitely travel more and maybe work on cruise ships 😂 I’d study for fun and would definitely start my own business.

I'd be a city girl in London, working in finance or some other typical city job, power-shagging my way to the top. I'd smoke too much, eat not enough, drink and snort heavily and use men like napkins!

I'd live by the sea and go beachcombing.

I'm writing a novel about this! Woman with grown up children, husband does the dirty, she inherits money so is financially independent. She has to decide whether to hot foot it abroad and fulfill all those dreams of travelling she had as a young woman, and stop pleasing all her family for once in her life, or not...

Probably in bed.

Where I am now 😀 no kids or husband, parents still independent, have done some of the things on here. I get to imagine the other way round!

I'd eat more healthily, possibly go vegetarian, live in a small, fairly minimalist cottage or flat. I would stay single and wouldn't be interested in dating. I'm not sure where I'd live. I love where I am now, but it's pretty rural and wouldn't be great for meeting new friends as a single person. I'd like to live somewhere still countrysidey but nearer to a more cosmopolitan decent-size town. I'd travel a bit more.

I love my family very much indeed, and would not be without them for anything. I am lucky and happy, but I don't see why that would make me unable to think about what I might do if my life situation were different. That's not a sign of unhappiness, it's a sign of having a perfectly normal level of imagination!

@altlife

I'd be a city girl in London, working in finance or some other typical city job, power-shagging my way to the top. I'd smoke too much, eat not enough, drink and snort heavily and use men like napkins!

This made me fist pump!!

I’m a midwife and I’d love to go and work somewhere like with medicine sans frontiers or a migrant camp. If I didn’t have kids I would definitely go and do that.

I’d also like to go on some more hedonistic holidays like to Burning man, or to Vegas. I wouldn’t be without my kids though, they’re my reason for getting up in the morning. I’d like to have my pre baby body back for some casual sex without inhibitions.