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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask where would you be now if you had no family to worry about pleasing

67 replies

Allhotairballoons · 07/02/2021 17:57

No husband/partner
No children
No parents or siblings
No ties of any kind

Imagine if overnight any geographically limiting obligations or familial ties completely evaporated. Simply failed to exist.

How would you curate your life, given the choice?

I'd pack my suitcase and move to Edinburgh or Cornwall. I'd work as a land and estate manager on a beautiful property outside the city, or perhaps something in conservation/wildlife protection. I'd be outdoors for much of my day and would come home tired, windswept and content.

I'd travel several times a year and I'd date both at home and in foreign cities without the pressure to settle down. I'd enjoy intense, albeit fleeting, connections with different men.

I probably wouldn't choose to live with a man again.

I'd become a more adventurous cook without other people's dietary requirements and schedules to work around. I'd buy fewer material possessions and would spend more on good food and wine.

I'd go to the sea more often and get out on the water. Or perhaps I'd live near the river and scrape together enough for a little day-cruiser.

Where would you go? What job would you have if you weren't tied to your existing location or required a particular pay-level to support your dependants?

Is there anything you would do differently if you didn't need to worry about how your parents or siblings would perceive it?

OP posts:
Wiredforsound · 07/02/2021 23:19

My DP has a lovely big apartment by the beach. I love it. He has great taste and has renovated it beautifully. Even though I’m there half the week (we’re in a bubble) it still feels like I’m on holiday every time I go.

wellthatsunusual · 07/02/2021 23:21

I'd leave Northern Ireland and go somewhere with a future.

EachBleachBlairTrump · 07/02/2021 23:26

Probably somewhere slightly more rural, I wanted village, DH wanted city, we compromised with a fairly buzzy seaside town. Having said that when I was single I loved city life!
I don't think DH or DS have held me back and I love the career I have. I had a fairly wild youth so don't feel I'm missing out. In non Covid times we travel a lot, pre DS we had an amazing social life, which had to change when he came along, but I enjoy the change of pace and doing more family focussed things. Honestly I think I'd be a bit lonely and trying to mask that by constantly keeping busy and being a social butterfly. Been there before....

EachBleachBlairTrump · 07/02/2021 23:31

Oh and my parents and sibling don't give a rat's arse how I live my life, they'd love and support me whatever I chose to do (aside from the obvious serial killer, human trafficking etc)

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 07/02/2021 23:33

God I'd be lost. My family (parents, siblings, DH and 2 kids) enrich my life so much.

DenisetheMenace · 07/02/2021 23:38

What a fabulous question.

I would be a forensic entomologist working wherever my skills were needed,

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 07/02/2021 23:39

I guess I dont have the travel bug or the desire to live free of responsibilities. I'm a total homebody, and my close bonds with family supersede minor irritations in terms of location/job.

Nitflux · 07/02/2021 23:41

California. I’m in the Midwest where it’s currently -17c with a wind chill making it feel like -30c. I need some warmth.

Brainfogmcfogface · 08/02/2021 00:06

Dead. Literally the day I found out I was pregnant I was planning my suicide in a very real way. And I know I would have done it, I wasn’t emotional or anything I just wanted out. But I didn’t come on again (about 5 days late) and whilst I didn’t think I was, thought it’d be best to check just in case.

altlife · 08/02/2021 00:45

@Invisiblewoman1 I see you Grin

FlamingGreatGalaahs · 08/02/2021 08:39

On a beach!

ShowOfHands · 08/02/2021 10:27

I love and adore my DH and dc and am utterly content in the choices I've made.

I read the op as a q about how my life would look if I didn't have the ties so my response was a simple answer, not a wish to magic away the life I have.

MindfulBitch · 08/02/2021 22:06

On a beach that is part of my house

With a blunt

With a coffee

With a bag of new books

MyFavouritePlace · 08/02/2021 22:18

I'd like a flat in London or Paris and have enough money to be able to have a LDR with an American man (ideally in California).

mumoftinyterrors · 09/02/2021 11:20

I'd travel the world and like to settle in Cornwall right by the beach

Augustus40 · 03/01/2026 14:53

Money no object I wd move to Muswell Hill.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/01/2026 14:54

Zombie 🧟

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