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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think bad dog owners don't realise that they are bad dog owners?

454 replies

WayTooSoon · 06/02/2021 10:36

Kind of a thread about lots of threads...

Every so often, threads appear on here saying someone's dog ran up to them/their child/their dog and how the owners respond with "it's ok, he's friendly" or similar. What usually follows is a load of posters saying "bad owners give us good owners a bad name". So is mumsnet entirely populated by "good owners" or are people oblivious to their own shortcomings as pet owners? Aibu to think that if someone is a bad owner, it seems likely that they have no idea that other people see them as a bad owner?

Are you now or have you ever been a "bad owner"?

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 08:35

again how dare you designate what is and isn’t a big deal to someone....the point is dogs do bite attack and kill.....
You are right, there should be no judgement on how someone reacts to a particular reaction to a perceive threat. We all have such fears.

What is wrong is making generalisations from them and believe that laws should be passed accordingly. Dogs in the very vast majority are no threat to anyone.

Again you cannot compare a child squealing to being attacked by a dog......it is beyond pathetic
You are not getting it. You have now moved to the word 'attack'. Of course you can't compare a child screaming to a dog that bites. A dog that runs eagerly to someone and stays in the proximity of that person is not an attack! The actions of a dog being annoying, in your space making you feel uncomfortable can indeed be compared to the actions of a child that result in an injury.

And exactly what this thread is about ‘bad dog owners who don’t realise they’re bad’ you are exactly who the OP is talking about!
That made me laugh. You've clearly have chosen to read what you want. I'll say it again. My dog is a very small cute bundle. It doesn't run fast to people, doesn't get in the way, doesn't jump and will stay as far away from kids as can be. It has excellent recall too. It's people and mostly kids who are a nuisance to him, but I don't call all parents bad parents because they fail to control their kids around my dog!

Poorlykitten · 09/02/2021 08:37

U.K. law says ‘ A dog doesn’t have to have bitten or physically injured someone for an offence to take place. If a person feels your dog may hurt them, they may still be considered ‘dangerously out of control’. This applies to all dogs of all sizes, breeds and types in public and private areas’. So you can be prosecuted if your dog runs up to someone and they feel threatened, whether or not you think your dog ‘would never harm anyone’ is inconsequential. Fact is dogs can be violent and unpredictable.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 08:40

Legally, a dog owner has a right to take their dog for a walk. It's also legal for a parent to take their child to the park. End of story
Thanks Mittens, you've summed it up perfectly!

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 08:44

If a person feels your dog may hurt them, they may still be considered ‘dangerously out of control
MAY indeed. The police are not going to arrest a dog owner because they ran fast to someone wagging their tail and not going back to their owner within a 1 minute being called back by their owner.

A dog barking aggressive and snapping, that may.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 08:47

Fact is dogs can be violent and unpredictable
No one is disputing this and thank God there are laws against dangerous dogs, but that's not what we are talking about here.

There are also violent and unpredictable humans in parks but thankfully we don't assume anyone coming a bit closer to you than makes you comfortable to be so.

SimonJT · 09/02/2021 08:50

We had an incident in the summer, I was alone walking our on lead pup, a dangerous out of control animal ran over knocked our pup over, said animal then attempted to chase my now scared puppy so I picked him up.

Said out of control animal was a child of around 8/9.

We have had one incident of a dog running up to our puppy, we have however had several incidents of children running up to him and behaving in an unsafe manner.

Oddly enough I haven’t lost all sense of reason and demanded that children be banned from public places, nor have I demanded that their parents should be prosecuted for allowing their child to behave in a dangerous manner.

LadyMayoGoodway · 09/02/2021 08:54

@LST not that ridiculous, already posted this above, this was a few days ago in a park, family just minding their own business on the swings when their baby was attacked by an off lead dog www.itv.com/news/granada/2021-02-08/baby-boy-in-hospital-after-being-mauled-by-dog-in-park-in-liverpool

LST · 09/02/2021 08:58

My dog has zero interest in anyone but me. I don't let him off lead in playgrounds. Like I said I would not have him in a position to need to attack anyone

LadyMayoGoodway · 09/02/2021 08:59

I think a dog mauling a baby is a bit more serious than a child running after your puppy, it’s disturbing that you don’t have the perspective to realise that and is exactly what makes bad dog owners.

Weirdly I have never ever seen a cat or child out of control and dangerous in a public place...dogs, every time I go for a walk or run, every time without fail.

Toddlers don’t get out of control and kill people...dogs do, if you don’t realise that it’s you that’s dangerous.

LadyMayoGoodway · 09/02/2021 09:00

The above was to @SimonJT

LolaSmiles · 09/02/2021 09:01

Poorlykitten

The word MAY is doing quite a bit of heavy lifting there.
Yes, the police might care if a dog is behaving aggressively, even if no physical injury is caused.

But they're not going to invoke the law based on feelz because someone on Mumsnet is apparently shaking with fear at the sight of an off lead dog in the same large grassy area as them/insert any number of anecdotes where a poster's reaction to a perfectly legal situation is woefully out of proportion.

I used to be terrified of dogs, and now own dogs. Irresponsible owners need to step up and some non dog owners need to get a grip.

SaltyTootsieToes · 09/02/2021 09:44

I know the accepted practices of dog ownership have changed throughout the years. So I know as a child, we were not good dog owners, but compared to my grandparents abd friebds, we were good dog owners at the time. I wouldn’t dream of doing things the way they were as a child

My grandparents had their golden retrievers tied to their kitchen table. That’s where it lived. Taken outside for short walks x3 a day. Lovely well behaved dog though

Growing up our digs never went for walks. Never. Large fenced in garden abd they were let outside to run around and do their business. Sometimes they were left outside all day (bowl of food, bowl of water). We’re talking 8:30 to 4. Everyone did this around us.
No toys, no mental stimulation in the house.

No wonder one of them chewed so much. Thousands in damages (think side of the sofa, window treatments etc)

My dog is walked daily, toys, treats for tricks and games). However, I do have a flap for him to use into my secure garden. I know some people think this is not responsible as he goes out if we’re not home but to me it makes perfect sense that he can come and go as he pleases and on sunny days, he loves going out and laying in the sun

Goldenbear · 09/02/2021 10:26

SimonJT but you can communicate with a fellow human and they can understand you so you can ask them to stop chasing your puppy. I am not saying they will oblige but the message is understood. Nobody can speak and reason with a dog, it is not a two way conversation.

It is not about some fear of dogs or hatred of them, they should be treated kindly and have the rights that most animals do but it is the getting in to your personal space, it is ruining the activities you have come to do at the park so recently for example, a small dog stole our table tennis ball, the owner was asking it to return it, completely ridiculous and irrational behaviour as guess what, the dog didn't understand her requests! The dog ruined the ball so that was the end of that. My DH goes for a run and every time a dog will run up to him. We had a picnic at the park last summer and a dog came up and grabbed the chicken, my husband asked the man to pay for the food but the bloke just laughed. We live near a beach and we are minding our own business a dog comes up to us and is just barking in my DD's face, it is so annoying! It is not fear it is annoying. We have Guinea pigs that live in our walled front garden, they can't live in the back as it is too small. We have an open drive and live near the entrance to a wood where lots of dog walkers go to walk their dogs. We have had at least 4 or 5 dogs in two months amble on to our drive behind our front garden wall and bark and sniff at our Guinea pigs which scares them. The owners just indulge them no attempt to remove them from our property! One owner had the nerve to tell me that her dog was friendly so no harm will occur, one owner told me it was a stupid place to keep my Guinea pigs! I reminded him that it was in fact my property and I would keep what I wanted on my own land! It's not fear it's that if I wanted a dog I would get one.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 11:24

I think a dog mauling a baby is a bit more serious than a child running after your puppy, it’s disturbing that you don’t have the perspective to realise that and is exactly what makes bad dog owners
And you're taking this thread to a dramatic level. As already said, we are not talking about dangerous killer dogs here, we are talking about not perfectly behaved dogs that are annoying and sometimes cause some mild incidents.

Dogs attacking people that leaves them to.hospital or dead is a totally different discussion.

greatpurplepolkadots · 09/02/2021 12:08

@dontdisturbmenow

I think a dog mauling a baby is a bit more serious than a child running after your puppy, it’s disturbing that you don’t have the perspective to realise that and is exactly what makes bad dog owners And you're taking this thread to a dramatic level. As already said, we are not talking about dangerous killer dogs here, we are talking about not perfectly behaved dogs that are annoying and sometimes cause some mild incidents.

Dogs attacking people that leaves them to.hospital or dead is a totally different discussion.

The conversation has gotten a bit dramatic.

But actually what we are talking about is bad owners. Owners who own dogs that injure / maim / kill fit that category.

And probably a lot of them started off by insisting their dog wouldn't hurt a fly so didn't need to be on a lead as well...

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 12:10

@LadyMayoGoodway
How dare you come on here and use slander such as idiot and arsehole when referring to other posters. Are we not all adults, humans adults that should really know better?

greatpurplepolkadots · 09/02/2021 12:10

I'd also be interested to know what you class as a 'mild incident'.

Mittens030869 · 09/02/2021 12:28

*Weirdly I have never ever seen a cat or child out of control and dangerous in a public place...dogs, every time I go for a walk or run, every time without fail.
*
Now I do find that hard to believe. My DH and I have regularly taken our DDs to parks, and there has never been a dog out of control. There have been dogs off the lead, which isn't at all the same thing.

My DDs used to be afraid of big dogs, but simply because they were big not because of any incident. As I've found, the calmer you are about dogs around your DC, the easier it is to overcome any fears your DC may have.

VinylDetective · 09/02/2021 12:37

I see this thread has become completely bonkers.

I’ve been on this planet for almost seven decades. In that time I’ve never seen a dog steal a picnic.

Yes, they chase runners, it works well for some runners because they exercise their dogs at the same time - don’t run where numerous dogs walk is the answer.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

greatpurplepolkadots · 09/02/2021 13:17

@dontdisturbmenow

But actually what we are talking about is bad owners. Owners who own dogs that injure / maim / kill fit that category Last year, a poor little girl got stabbed by a yiung lady suffering from a severe mental health illness.

Should all people suffering from any MH disorder be banned from parks or only going supervised? Because that's the exact same logic.

Did you really just compare dogs to people who suffer from mental health issues?!?

How on earth do you think that's appropriate.

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 13:19

@greatpurplepolkadots
Because comparing is not equating for goodness sakes.

greatpurplepolkadots · 09/02/2021 13:25

I give up.

Dog owners like @tenbananasaday are never going to see the issue in letting their dogs approach people who don't want to interact despite several posters pointing it out to them calmly and rationally.

For the record - this type of over the top response to people making the point that actually, it's not irrational to be scared of dogs is ... exactly why people in real life won't tell you that actually no, they don't like your dog.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 13:34

Did you really just compare dogs to people who suffer from mental health issues?!?
FGS, open your mind a bit instead of only reading what allows you to make it controversial.

Some posters are advocating that all dogs should be on a lead or not allowed in park because a small minority of dogs can be a bit badly behaved and an even smaller minority can be truly dangerous.

I am not comparing dogs with people with MH, I am using the analogy to show the lack of logic in thinking that because a very small minority of one group can be violent, the entire group they belong to should be penalised from any freedom.

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 13:37

*For the record - this type of over the top response to people making the point that actually, it's not irrational to be scared of dogs is ... exactly why people in real life won't tell you that actually no, they don't like your dog"
It's not irrational to be scared of anything. It doesn't mean that anything should be restricted of their freedom to suit your fears.