Using Nursery whilst on maternity leave

[EmJM]

First time poster here. I’m a first time mum to a 6.5month old, and am considering putting her into nursery 1-2mornings a week, whilst I’m still on maternity leave. Looking for peoples opinions or some comradeship if anyone has done this?

My husband and I are finding the pandemic so so difficult. We have no family nearby to help (overseas and >300miles away), my husband is working from our small home, and we are both trying to do study as well. There are no baby groups here, or leisure centres and I’m starting to feel so isolated and totally wiped. I’m also so worried that my little girl is seeing no one apart from me and her Dad.

The local nursery have offered to give her two mornings a week. I wanted one only, but they said she wouldn’t settle properly. I am not planning to go back until she is 12minths old, We can afford it, and I know I will use the time wisely to recharge and to study.

BUT I still have massive massive Mum guilt. I worry I’m letting her down. That I’m not fulfilling the ideal of being a mother. Am I being lazy? Selfish? Am I wasting our money. It’s a total headF.

Would really love to hear from anyone who’s had experience of doing this. Or any advice.

Thanks Mums xxx

I'd go for it in your position. A few posters have talked about nursery as 'leaving your baby with random strangers'. If it's a good nursery, their nursery workers are absolutely not 'random strangers' after the first few weeks. Babies and toddlers bond with the nursery staff - ours are so dedicated and feel like part of our 'village' that it takes to raise a child. It's really normal for people to leave babies of that age with family for a few hours. And especially this year mat leave is so isolating. My littlest has just turned 1 and I think he would have benefitted from having more social contact with other people for the last 6 months.

Random strangers,lol. It’s trained staff not some lassie at a bus stop
Staff in a regulated and inspected environment who work to national standards

Do it. She will settle wonderfully at that age and with her being familiar with setting you wont have screaming child when you return to work

I sent my second at 12 months and so much screaming and separation issues. Free d sent hers from 6 months and she settles beautifully

I haven't done it, but I also haven't had a baby during a pandemic (yet, due no 2 in April). Absolutely no judgement from me; if you think it would help you and DH then go for it. So many people have difficulty accepting help, but it's so vital. Maybe have a trial and see how you feel about it.

@Bathbea

I have friends who work in nursaries, and are coming into contact with families who could be looking after their own children as they are SAHM.

Nurseries are fully open- no need to be key workers etc, they are still charging fees so why shouldn't people send their children?

If you are completely happy with the nursery for her age (in my experience the provision for a 6.5 month old varies wildly, from bare minimum to keep them safe to incredible), then yes absolutely. They are open, plenty of little ones go in at that age.

.... because of trying to reduce the spread of covid!

This is not a ‘normal’ maternity leave where you get to hang around baby groups to pass the days (if that’s your thing). I’d go for it and not waste those precious nursery hours feeling bad.