Flatmate hygiene

[Grossedout12]

I have a flatmate who doesn’t wash her hands after going to the toilet

I’m not up against the door listening in case that’s what you’re thinking! You can hear the tap and pipes when the water flows into the sink. That’s how I know.

Also she’s in there for a min, flushes the loo, then she’s out in a second so no time to wash either.

It’s starting to make me feel so sick 🤢 and I keep wiping the door handles and in the kitchen because I think of everywhere she touches.

I can’t bring myself to talk to her about this. There are other hygiene issues too.

I may have to move out?

Get rid OP. If you can of course. She's a fucking liability. When you share a home with others you have a duty to step up your hygiene, keep things tidy, keep your noise levels down, etc. And, even if someone has 'only had a wee', never forget we touch our groin which houses deadly bacteria. This is why when one is being admitted to hospital you have to swab your groin to check for MRSA, etc ... X

Disgusting. And in Covid times too 🙄
Yanbu.

And of course the OP shouldn't have to ask a grown adult to wash her hands.
Some of the responses on here, honestly ...

hmm. Well if she doesn't wash her hands after wiping faeces off her bottom, then yes that is unhygienic. The rest of it a bit more subjectcive. "I feel like i'm her maid" and she probably feels like youre' being really passive agressive wiping surfaces.. Also, sorry but some bits of food always drop on the floor. that's why it's swept or vacuumed every dya. It's just not a big deal and if you dont want to share a flat, don't.

@Grossedout12

Also I’m not OCD! I just like a clean space to live where people are respectful 😔

That is not a fucking typo. And yes I will pull people up when they use it

Have a fucking conversation with them, get rid, or move.

Just put some sanitiser in the bathroom and say we all have to make the extra effort because of covid, 🤷‍♀️

And now the thought of educating her on the need to wash her hands is too much

You don't need to educate an adult. Just say "wash your hands you filthy bastard.".

People saying “just talk to her”....OP has raised issues numerous times around cleanliness & other things so like her I would be at end of tether and know that “just talk to her” is pretty useless advice given the context. OP you could try and raise it with her but I’d also feel uncomfortable asking a grown adult to wash their hands (other than my own family). Doubt she will change - I would speak to landlord or look at moving. (Estate agents are working etc so you should be able to move fine, though some viewings could be virtual)

Your flatmate appears to have also started a thread....

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4157611-to-think-not-everyone-washes-their-hands-after-every-single-wee-when-in-their-own-home

😁

I am torn. When in student digs several decades ago we mostly lived in places with outside toilets quite a distance from the house, no sink - just the outhouse. Some places had a seperate bathroom tacked on to the outside of the house but often nowhere near the back door. Some places had the old fashioned concrete wash tubs outside at the back of the house. Some places had a tap somewhere in the yard, generally nowhere near the loo or house. The only other option was to come in and use kitchen sink which was always a single sink stacked high with dirty dishes. Safe to say, I reckon we all went for most of the student period without washing our hands after using the loo and all survived.

The weirdest thing though was several years post uni when flatting with a girl and, now having decent wage, was in a normal /modern house with indoor facilities. The toilet was a little closet room with a hand basin directly outside the door. She would go to the loo, walk out directly PAST the hand basin and go wash her hands in the kitchen sink. I confronted her several times as it was disgusting to put potential poo germs in the kitchen sink (single sink, no dishwasher) when there was a perfectly good hand basin directly outside the toilet - located there for a reason. She called me anal. I ended up leaving. Bought my own place.

To clarify about student housing, if outside bathroom it would not have a toilet in it, just a shower and/or bath and sink often with room in it for washing machine and would be as inconvenient to the outside toilet as it was to the house.

It’s bad enough not washing hands when you’re just living with close family, as seems common on the other hand washing thread, but to inflict it on flatmates is magnitudes worse.

You shouldn’t feel bad about speaking to her about it, but frankly the kind of person who does this in the first place and has neighbours complaining is unlikely to take it in. I think you’ll end up looking for somewhere else or approaching the landlord.

I feel for the neighbours re the stomping and slamming, btw. We have this with a neighbour right now who is impervious to all requests, polite, firm, whatever. She’s also a nightmare with bins - there is still packaging in the front garden from when she moved in over 6 months ago. Some people are just selfish and rather manky, I’m afraid!

Did you inherit my (now ex) flat mate? She also didn't brush her teeth (again just like you, we used to work together and got ready at the same time in a small flat. Every morning she'd just walk in, flush after 30 seconds, walk out. Never re-enter the bathroom before leaving for work ). No surprise when she eventually had to have major dental work done. And I was also cleaning up after her.

I eventually moved out on my own, best thing I've ever done.

@Grossedout12

Also I’m not OCD! I just like a clean space to live where people are respectful 😔

You can't be OCD so no need for the clarification.

If she doesn't care about hygiene she isn't suddenly going to start washing her hands if you ask her to and nor should you need to.

You need to leave or get her to.

YANBU

Very bizarre answers on here! Of course you’re not being unreasonable OP, you’re living with a gross flat mate. After a decade of great and not so great flat shares (mostly great), there’s not much more to say than move as soon as you can. Not compatible.

What if she gets pee on her hand then makes a cup of tea and touches EVERYTHING. Tell her to wash her hands.