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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flatmate hygiene

92 replies

Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 22:12

I have a flatmate who doesn’t wash her hands after going to the toilet

I’m not up against the door listening in case that’s what you’re thinking! You can hear the tap and pipes when the water flows into the sink. That’s how I know.

Also she’s in there for a min, flushes the loo, then she’s out in a second so no time to wash either.

It’s starting to make me feel so sick 🤢 and I keep wiping the door handles and in the kitchen because I think of everywhere she touches.

I can’t bring myself to talk to her about this. There are other hygiene issues too.

I may have to move out?

OP posts:
HighSpecWhistle · 05/02/2021 22:32

@Grossedout12

billiondollarwhale she doesn’t shower daily and I don’t think she washes her hands before using the kitchen for example

She leaves greasy hand prints all over the kitchen

I shower every other day. I don't think that makes me dirty. It saves water and saves me time. I still look and smell clean.

I don't wash my hands before using the kitchen. I've never known anyone who does.

I DO wash hands after the toilet though. And YANBU to expect her to in shared accommodation.

Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 22:36

The landlord is a relative so I could speak to them and see if it’s possible to get another flatmate

I just can’t face telling her about this - I’m sick to my stomach of telling her, hinting to clear up after herself, so we can avoid insects, rats etc

There will be chunks of food on the floor after I do a deep clean

And now the thought of educating her on the need to wash her hands is too much

I can’t face it anymore

But are people looking for rooms at the moment with the pandemic and restrictions?

OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 05/02/2021 22:42

Gross. Does she clean her hands when she comes into the house no handing washing during a pandemic is extra rank. My hands aged 20 years this year.

JackieWeaverRules · 05/02/2021 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 22:46

Nope she doesn’t wash when she comes in either Emeraldshamrock I always washed my hands when arriving home, even before the pandemic. I mind less about the hand washing coming home because I’m young and fit and low risk when it comes to covid. Having piss and shit particles on door handles and across the kitchen is far worse for me 🤢

OP posts:
JackieWeaverRules · 05/02/2021 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 22:48

JackieWeaverRules

I don’t know what you want people to say.

I’m getting plenty of supportive messages thank you

OP posts:
asdnamechange · 05/02/2021 22:50

Yanbu OP Shock that’s gross

Gson · 05/02/2021 22:52

Yanbu- I once had a similar flatmate and I was constantly disinfecting the door handles etc. It’s disgusting!

AbsentmindedWoman · 05/02/2021 22:53

Of course it’s gross that she doesn’t wash her hands. If it bothers you that much, just bloody ask her to wash her hands.

Yeah it's really that simple, cos she'll definitely do it after being asked, not like she's clearly got ingrained bad hygiene habits or anything Hmm

OP I feel for you, it's fucking gross. Had a flatmate like this also - fortunately she was hardly ever there and then moved out after a couple months.

Definitely ask your relative landlord to get rid. Massively unacceptable in the pandemic that people behave like this. If she's so lax about hand washing after using the fucking loo she probably doesn't take hand washing in general seriously.

Emeraldshamrock · 05/02/2021 22:54

Definitely speak to your landlord I'm not sure where you are evictions are not permitted during covid here.
I'd have it out with her, she deserves it, stick your big girl pants on say "I can't help but notice you're not washing your hands after the bathroom this unacceptable and you need to clean your mess" it'll be uncomfortable but worth it with luck she'll leave.

Babyboomtastic · 05/02/2021 22:56

Logically speaking, something has give very wrong with a wee if you've got it on your hands, or if your hands have touched your genitals. Periods and poos are different. Men have to touch their penises so I think it's more gross when they don't wash their hands.

However, even if not necessary from that perspective, it's a sensible social convention, and it ensures hands get washed several times a day.

And yes, obviously I wash mine, I'm just trying to think objectively here.

JackieWeaverRules · 05/02/2021 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SimonJT · 05/02/2021 22:58

@Babyboomtastic

Logically speaking, something has give very wrong with a wee if you've got it on your hands, or if your hands have touched your genitals. Periods and poos are different. Men have to touch their penises so I think it's more gross when they don't wash their hands.

However, even if not necessary from that perspective, it's a sensible social convention, and it ensures hands get washed several times a day.

And yes, obviously I wash mine, I'm just trying to think objectively here.

Don’t you realise that if you live with a man you essentially touch a penis every time you touch the toilet flush.
Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 22:58

Tbh it’s not just the wee and poo thing
It’s the overall hygiene
She doesn’t clear up after herself in the kitchen and we had an infestation because she kept storing food opened in cupboards
We had insects crawling everywhere
It made me 🤢
I just can’t live like this anymore Babyboomtastic

OP posts:
CherryBlossomTree7 · 05/02/2021 22:59

I'm with you OP. Can't believe that people on here think it's acceptable to not wash their hands after going to the toilet. Even if you've just done a wee, you're touching toilet paper to your vagina where wee has just come out of and you're touching the toilet seat that has come into contact with multiple people's wee and poo. No wonder we've had to have adverts telling us to wash our hands.

I would feel the same as you about talking to her. Imagine asking an adult to wash their hands after going to the toilet. Don't think it would change anything either. She's got to whatever age and doesn't see the need to wash her hands so can't see her changing now.

You could try telling the landlord about her hygiene. If nothing is done or nothing changes, I would consider moving out. You deserve to live in a hygenic house.

CherryBlossomTree7 · 05/02/2021 23:00

Okay, just seen your post about the insects. You 100% need to tell the landlord.

Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 23:00

Yes, really JackieWeaverRules

OP posts:
Babyboomtastic · 05/02/2021 23:00

@SimonJT
Probably, but I like that particular one Wink

Jsnn · 05/02/2021 23:00

Sounds horrible. I can't handle people who don't practice basic hygiene. If you mention that on here though you always end up offending a bunch of people here who don't shower/wash up regularly. They are quite defensive.

Unfortunately not sure what you do in your situation. I don't think asking this person will do anything. Probably should just leave if you have the means.

Postmysecret · 05/02/2021 23:02

Get a new hand wash and ‘rave’ about it say how kind it is to your skin etc, when it’s not as empty as it should be mention how odd it is that there’s so much left. Failing that put some hand gel in the bathroom as another option she might use that instead, certainly not ideal but better then nothing. Otherwise I’m not sure what you can do!

Northernsoullover · 05/02/2021 23:03

We did a toilet paper test in University to measure what came through the paper. Obviously we didn't use real shite. Lets just say you need a good wad to not transfer bacteria!

Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 23:04

Postmysecret good idea! I’ll put a large bottle of anti bac on the sink and say ‘this is for us to share!’

My only hope...

OP posts:
Original poster
Grossedout12 · 05/02/2021 23:05

Northernsoullover exactly!! 🤮

OP posts:
TGIB · 05/02/2021 23:05

It sounds awful. Doesn't sound like she will or can change. How long are you/ her obliged to live there?