To ask at what age you put your child in nursery?

[chuckb4ss]

Was it part time or full time, and did you feel it was beneficial for your child?

I've read that research shows babies should be with their primary caregiver for the first few years in order to create a secure, healthy attachment, but I simply cannot last that long!

There seem to be lots of people that genuinely think that all families can afford to have one parent stay at home or have endless free childcare from family members. Many people don't have those options.

@Dipi79

I don't see the point in having children if you are just going to shove them into nursery FT at 3-6 months.

This is just goady and you know it. I have no desire to spend 24 hours a day with my children. Believe it or not, that doesn't make me a worse mother than someone who does.

No one ever comments on my DH's decision to work.

6 months for one fulltime at a nursey onsite where I worked, then at 3 months for the second (though combined with a nanny)
No choice had to go back to work and had moved to a country with very poor maternity leave when I had second . No point regretting what you have no choice in. My second child was very sociable and it was a mixed aged group. I would have liked 6 months and I still breast fed him morning and evening/weekends until gone 6 months pumping milk at work .

@Lovesgood

Yeah put your babies into nursery at 6 months old but then come on here and screech at ppl who leave their 8 year olds home alone for ten minutes to go to the shops All kinds of wrong

Um. You do know the nursery has staff looking after the children, they're not just left alone?

11 months, when I went back to work. She went 3 days a week and loved it (still does age 3). Her brother will be starting soon when he’s the same age. I admire people who can stay home with their children all the time but personally I’d lose the plot and what little sanity I have left 🤷🏻‍♀️

DC1 started at 10 months full time when I returned to work. DC2 went three days a week at 7 months when I returned to work and now I'm a sahm and DC3 who is almost two is at home with me. All my decisions were right for the particular time . Different things will work for different parents. DC1 who is 8 was just telling me the other day that she would love to go back as an after schooler as she loved it so much so I don't think I damaged her for life

DD started at 9 months for 4 days a week, she absolutely loved it from the start and it seems to have done wonders for her. She doesn't even give a look back when we drop her off!

3 days a week from 12 months, so I could go back to work. I don’t think it had any particular benefit for him until he was older, but it did for me - I was going insane at home and really needed to go back to work.

It is possible NOT to put kids in nursery and still be a shit parent.

It is possible NOT to put kids in nursery and still be a shit parent.

I'd have been a dreadful parent if it wasn't for nursery!

Full time at 9 months as I went back to work and she loves it and did from day 1. Absolutely attached to me and DH so no worries about connections and gets so much stimulation with lots and lots of outdoor play and messy play. Nursery follows a school type curriculum and they have set play each day and really healthy meals. It costs us a fortune but it’s the best money we spend - little one is so confident and ballsy and will not bat an eye lid when going to school.

If you have to go to work then fine If you are doing it for the benefit of the child then don’t put them in nursery

DD1 was 9 months as I'd returned to work and DD2 will be 8 months as I will be returning to work again. Both will be 2 full days at nursery, one day with DHs mum and 2 days with my parents.

DD1 loves it! She did get upset a few times when she first started but she soon got into the routine. All staff now say they can't believe she's the same child that started with them that used to be so upset (she's nearly 2 now). Our nursery have a private parents Facebook page that they update daily with photos of what the children are doing and I love it, it's so lovely to see what she's been getting up to while she's been there

DD1 5.5 months, DD2 4.5 months. This was nearly 20 years ago when you only got around 12 weeks SMP. Both went p/t and loved it. The most they did was DD1 doing 4 days/week just before DD2 came along.

If I had my time over again, I wouldn't change it. They both benefitted enormously from the wonderful care & experiences they both received

Full time from 14 months. Was supposed to be 12 months but Covid. She delights in it and by the end of the weekend is begging to go back.

Ds1 five days a week from 6 months due to work commitments...

DS 2 will be going from April at just turned 2 for two mornings a week, then three mornings from September until next April when he turns three. He will then do 5 mornings. He will qualify for 30 hours but not sure if we will use them.

3 months

16 months 2 mornings
22 months 2 full days

@PaddingtonsSister - I didn’t need to work but enjoyed my career and spent too long studying to give it up.
The nursery DT’s went to from six months benefited them hugely in particular language skills. We’re a trilingual family and don’t speak English at home. Nursery was where they learnt English, developed social skills, independence and made their first friends.

I was fortunate never to have to with my 3. Used a nanny (3 days a week) with my first 2 from 18 months. They went to preschool just before turning 3 (3 mornings a week) - one was ready, one wasn't that one stayed not ready for ages until about 13 (but that child is currently undergoing asd assessment). My ds (summer-born) went to pre-school at about 2 (would have been the year before school nursery which is year before reception which he would have started at 4) for 2-3 mornings a week. He was not ready and I regret that. We moved him after a term to another pre-school and he stopped crying but did shut off. (Got autism diagnosis at 2.5). Was very unhappy first year of nursery but teacher worked so hard with him and we delayed him (as Summerborn) and he had a second year at school nursery with lovely teacher and has become most confident child at school and that has stayed with him throughout school. So there was a ready time for him, it was just a lot later than I was anticipating. Equally my NT daughter probably would have been quite happy going to nursery from about 18 months and wouldn't probably have had a problem earlier (as likes people, stimulation).
Somy long-winded point is it depends upon the child. Based upon everything I have read plus experienced with my kids not much benefit can come before they are about 2 because they don't interact with other kids until that age. However, for 2 of mine it was a lot later and one of mine that would have been perfect (and if my circumstances had been different she would have been fine earlier because she is just a confident, resilient, happy little thing, not a shy bone in her body). You just have to make a decision depending upon you, your child, your finances, places available and if the decision is wrong, change it (not in the first few weeks but if they really dont settle). Good luck.

DD1 was 3, DD2 will be the same although has had a childminder 1 day since 14mo. If your child has a secure attachment to you then they’ll be more able to form that in other situations like nursery. You can support that by advocating for a consistent keyworker, giving your child lots of support with the settling in process etc.

@PaddingtonsSister

If you have to go to work then fine If you are doing it for the benefit of the child then don’t put them in nursery

Some people choose to work. It's not always about having to work and that's fine.

Nobody ever says this shit to men.

@Dipi79

I don't see the point in having children if you are just going to shove them into nursery FT at 3-6 months.

Why do people come on threads like this to post nonsense like this? Honestly.

Good for you clap clap go get your trophy.

Meant to be 9 months but ended up being 13 months due to Covid. She is in part time (2 days/week). She has been out since before Christmas and I think she misses the contact with other kids, especially as she isn't seeing anyone else but me and her dad, nursery has definitely been good for her.

Mine went for a couple of days a week each from 9 months and stayed in the same nursery until school, like many others do with absolutely no issues

Telling working parents not to procreate is just bonkers.