To ask at what age you put your child in nursery?

[chuckb4ss]

Was it part time or full time, and did you feel it was beneficial for your child?

I've read that research shows babies should be with their primary caregiver for the first few years in order to create a secure, healthy attachment, but I simply cannot last that long!

Both went at 11 months and absolutely love/d it. DS is now in year 1 and wants to go back and DD runs in every morning and missed it when it was shut recently. Absolutely no attachment issues with either of them.

A preschool that took from age 2, at age 2 ( Well in the September so age 2 years and 6 weeks) It was 9-12 twice a week, so 6 hours. I think it was beneficial for me to have a break as a SAHM!!! It was good for DS to play with different stuff alongside other children, get to do different activities and learn a new routine.

I will be sending my now one year old there at 2 years too.

This is my preference but oh my gosh the toddler years are so hard to entertain them. One minute it's pure joy then they are grumpy.

DS 14 months goes my mum full time as I’m back at work.

Will be considering pre school 2-3 mornings a week sometime after he turns 2 for the social side of it.

Forgot to add - ds did turn out to have ASD, firstly misdiagnosed as an attachment disorder due to my leaving my son with a childminder from such an early age - a theory that has since been debunked.

He also had a physical reaction to the MMR jab when he was a baby, which his lovely and experienced childminder pointed out to me and which I would have taken as a normal reaction to a baby having a jab; but the same nurse gave me a painful smear so I just thought she was 'heavy-handed'.

Anyways, the MMR jab causes autism theory has also been debunked.

So whatever you choose to do, if you choose carefully, won't harm your child, only random acts that we can't control may do and that's something every parent has to live with, forever.

So really the choice of childcare/maternity leave/sahm/work options shouldn't affect your child and really maybe embrace the fact you have a range of choices to choose from. It's a good thing

1 year for eldest and 7 months for dc2. Just different circumstances.

Both started for a couple of days and then built up.

2 days a week from 5 months for my eldest
I day a week from 17 months for my second
3 mornings a week from 7 months for my third.
Ideally I'd have liked them all to be 17 months as I don’t really feel there's much benefit when they're younger but had to due to work.
Having said that it also doesn't do any harm IME and can help with independence. Also their strongest bond will be with you but no harm in them forming strong bonds with others.

DD started at 9 months, she's 14 months now and loves it. We couldn't really tell much difference in terms of her development but as soon as she hit 1 and she'd been there a while, she's started to come on really quickly, she's constantly coming home from nursery with something new she's learnt

I was very fortunate and looked after my children until they were three when I enrolled them at pre-school .

First child 10 months (3days a week), second child 6 months 😭 3 days a week. But they both absolutely loved it and I was much happier too and therefore a much better mother. Do what works. The research is useful but needs context... Everyone's situation is different.

I'd be very interested to see what research you're referring to, OP - if it's the very small scale 2010 study from the US then that's got several big flaws in it from a UK perspective, most notable of which is that in the US babies generally start childcare at between 6 weeks and 5 months old, very much earlier than in the UK.

Have a read of the 2017 UK-based SEED study that shows more positive outcomes for children who attend childcare than for those who don't.

2 years and 2 months for DD, three mornings per week. She had a speech delay and it was the best thing I could have done for her. Selfishly, it also gave me a much needed break (no family around to help and I also had bad PND).

6 months, 3 days a week, back in the day when you only got 6 months paid mat leave. He’s 14 in 2 weeks time and has suffered no lasting damage!

My 13 month old goes to a childminder 4 or 5 days a week, but the childminder also happens to be my next door neighbour and I work from home. I'm very thankful for this situation as with her being a lockdown/ Covid baby who has only ever been with us and no baby groups etc I would have been worried about sending her to a nursery

You should probably differentiate between nursery and preschool. Most people using nurseries are doing so for childcare reasons, so it's probably less about when was best for the child and more about when the parents needed to return to work.

Preschools are more likely to be part time and are mainly used by SAHPs etc. Most children start at either 2 or 3. Is this what you meant OP?

I stayed off work for the maximum maternity leave (including adding on all holiday possible) and they went to childcare at 13.5m. My work offered an initial period part time when you return from maternity leave so initially 3 days a week the first two months. I chose a childminder in a home environment until mine were old enough for the local preschool (between 2.5 & 3). I also specifically chose a childminder who only had one child under two at once. Childminders have the same ratios as nurseries but tend not to have several babies at the same time, which I preferred. Babies have quite specific needs and I felt it was easier for a childcare worker to simultaneously cuddle or a change baby, and chat to a 3 year old, than it is to juggle two or three immobile babies.

I also wanted my children of different ages to be together in the same room, and wanted them taken out in our local community - to the supermarket & library, to our local toddler group etc, for walks, on the school run, just as they would if they were with me.

2.5 yrs baby no.3 never used nursery before. She absolutely loves it. I can totally see how much she has grown and learned in the 4 months she has been going. She goes 2 days a week and I feel that’s about right. I’m so glad we made the decision to send her - it’s so cute when she comes home and tells us all about their day.

age 3.5 and it was part time, for the funded 15 hours (which worked out as 1.5 days per week).

Two days a week from 13 months.

10 months, one day a week, to allow me to go back to work.
It's been great for her, she loves nursery

14 months ( only because we couldn’t get a place at 12 months!), 3 days a week 7.30 - 5.00

Definitely beneficial, DS has absolutely flourished there

Oh and I dont think there are any really benefits from group based childcare until about age 2.5 to 3. I'm sure good quality childcare is great but I'm sure a baby at home with mum or dad will do equally well. I used a childminder as I needed childcare to return to work - if I had been a SAHM I wouldnt have used a nursery or preschool until age 3. After about age 3 i feel kids do enjoy the company of other children and get some real social benefit from a part time preschool etc.

11 months (just shy of a year) for DS. I had to go back to work and he did 3 full days with nursery and 2 with my Mum.

I wish I'd had the chance to wait. I was wrecked with guilt and tried so hard to go back part time but wasn't allowed to. I ended up having a huge breakdown trying to balance everything and feeling the guilt so I ended up coming out of work when he was 2-3.5 and he went to nursery once a week. More than made up for all the lost days when he was a baby.

I went back to work full time just before he was 4 and he does 4 full days at childminders (which I much prefer) now, with one day at home with us (WFH, not ideal, but he gets a film day!)

Interestingly my DC1 started nursery at 7 months part time so I could go back to work. He absolutely loved it.
Due to covid and a house move he stopped at roughly 18 months until 2. So he had about 6 months off.

In that time there was a definite regression, his confidence went down a bit and he was more difficult to entertain. It could be anecdotal of course but I felt it was related to reduced stimulation and interaction.

DC2 was at home with me for a solid year before going full time recently.

Both absolutely love it.

One thing I should add is although of course as their parent I am their primary care giver, at nursery they have key workers who see to the majority of their care - especially the young babies. My two have amazing key workers and seeing the dynamic and relationships between them on the drop offs and pick ups confirms that they do in fact have very secure and loving additional primary relationships.

You have to make your decisions on balance, I went back to work full time because that is what works for our whole family long term - I could have maybe scrapped through for a few more years without working but I really don’t want the stress of paying bills and juggling cash flow. Those stresses in themselves create a negative environment for kids to be in. Plus I want to be able to take my foot off the peddle when they’re at school and more aware of my presence at things like assemblies and sports days - if I put the work into my career now I’m more likely to be able to ease off in 5/8 years.

My kids are happy, settled, confident and smashing their milestones; nursery certainly isn’t harming them

Mine will be going for weekday mornings when he turns 3.

10 months and two full days a week
He loves it
Will likely do the same with baby number 2 when she arrives 🙂