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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

All of my family members forgot my DD 1st birthday

92 replies

HankMarvinjg · 04/02/2021 16:35

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit peed off and let down by the fact all of my family have forgotten my DD 1st birthday? Friends have remembered though. Literally nobody from my family have remembered. Big family too where birthdays have never been forgotten.

OP posts:

Parkandride · 05/02/2021 07:07

Congratulations on her walking, thats great that it happened on her birthday! Hope they don't forget in future

Original poster

HankMarvinjg · 05/02/2021 07:27

Its definitely shamed them such a shame. If it was us that forgot, we wouldn't hear the end of it

OP posts:

Original poster

HankMarvinjg · 05/02/2021 07:28

Thanks again for messages

OP posts:

Rowenasemolina · 05/02/2021 08:38

I have not the first blue when any of my neices or nephews birthdays are, and don’t care.

They get lots of gifts and treats from me. Based on I see something I think they would like, Or when they have achieved something worthy of congratulations, or when they need cheering up.

Not based on the calendar

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 05/02/2021 08:45

YABU

It's perfectly possible to remember it's beginning of February without paying too much attention to the exact date, why didn't mention the birthday when you spoke with them?

It's a big deal for the parents, not for the rest of the world. As long as they don't spitefully ignore it and you get the presents, you are being precious.

It does not matter if they remember the week, not the exact date for a 1 year old. ! year old do not care.

Same4Walls · 05/02/2021 08:50

@Rowenasemolina

I have not the first blue when any of my neices or nephews birthdays are, and don’t care.

They get lots of gifts and treats from me. Based on I see something I think they would like, Or when they have achieved something worthy of congratulations, or when they need cheering up.

Not based on the calendar

Do you never send them a birthday card or a text to wish them a lovely day? Surley it's not just about giving gifts it's about acknowledging their birthday which is a pretty normal thing to do isn't it?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 05/02/2021 09:12

I can't imagine a scenario where my mother wouldn't acknowledge her grandchildren's or great-grandchildren's birthdays!

YADNBU

Original poster

HankMarvinjg · 05/02/2021 10:09

@MrJollyLivesNextDoor

I can't imagine a scenario where my mother wouldn't acknowledge her grandchildren's or great-grandchildren's birthdays!

YADNBU

Exactly, never seen it coming. Never mind, onwards and upwards

OP posts:

billy1966 · 05/02/2021 11:07

Take the high ground but I certainly wouldn't allow them to lecture you again😙

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 05/02/2021 11:55

If you are already like that with a 1 year old, I can imagine the rest of the family bracing themselves to deal with everything else that's coming

Ginfordinner · 05/02/2021 11:58

I'm glad your DD had a lovely birthday. Belated happy birthday to her. Is it possible that some people posted something and it hasn't arrived yet? Our post is shocking at the moment due to the pandemic.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/02/2021 13:36

@Rowenasemolina

I have not the first blue when any of my neices or nephews birthdays are, and don’t care.

They get lots of gifts and treats from me. Based on I see something I think they would like, Or when they have achieved something worthy of congratulations, or when they need cheering up.

Not based on the calendar

Really wouldn’t be proud of this

ddl1 · 05/02/2021 19:30

*I have not the first blue when any of my neices or nephews birthdays are, and don’t care.

They get lots of gifts and treats from me. Based on I see something I think they would like, Or when they have achieved something worthy of congratulations, or when they need cheering up.

Not based on the calendar*

I would seriously have loved you as a relative! All those treats and presents and appreciation without having to be reminded of my new age. Just like Christmas!

ddl1 · 05/02/2021 19:33

I’ve called out my father for his random birthday card /gift giving. Remembering one of my children but not another and causing my forgotten child a lot of upset on her birthday.

That really would offend me! It's favouritism in effect, even if not intentional.

ddl1 · 05/02/2021 19:36

It also makes it very easy to work out how much family care about you.

Disagree. Caring isn't mainly about special occasions and celebrations; it's about constantly being there for you. If someone needs a special occasion to show that they care, maybe they don't really care that much.

Cadent · 05/02/2021 21:28

@HankMarvinjg

Its definitely shamed them

such a shame. If it was us that forgot, we wouldn't hear the end of it

Good they’re ashamed, why the double standards? Why do they expect more from you?

FishyMcFishyfingersFace · 07/02/2021 11:22

I'd be a bit out out at that too.

I'm currently unhappy with my FIL right now. DH spoke to him a couple of days ago and FIL mentioned our DSs birthday this month. Yay, he remembered it, but forgot it is DS2s 18th. Forgivable if FIL hadn't remembered it is his nephew once removeds 18th birthday this month too. Was unhappy he'd remembered it is his wife's sister's daughter's son's 18th, but not his own grandson's 18th!

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