Did you have loving parents AND financial privilege?

[Waterlilllies]

I seem to know lots of people who have had one or the other from my generation. Nowadays I think it's more typical to have both?

Personally I come from a family of wonderfully loving women, great role models, but had a rubbish absent dad. I am old now so it doesn't matter in any real sense, but sometimes I see something about the father- daughter relationship and think oh, what would that have been like...

Did anyone have warm, loving parents and also things like private school that nurtured your talents, or did you have your own pony? Did you have lovely birthday parties?

Did you have lots of little advantages to smooth the path into independence, and do you feel fortunate now?

If this was you, what was the most magical bit of your childhood or young adulthood? Indulge me, I'm having a crap, dull day and would love to live vicariously reading about other people's memories

I just think that when parental love combines with enough money, it seems to make for a childhood that is as close to perfect as you can get.

I had loving involved parents, my mum was a SAHP. We had both ends of the spectrum, grew up in an inner city small terraced house, holidays were uk, clothes home made, meals out were birthdays only, takeaways in holidays only, second hand toys and bikes etc. My dad rapidly climbed the ranks and ended up in a detached house, holidayed to Australia, excellent state school due to catchment area, left uni with no debt, bought me a car etc. It might have been my age as I was a teenager when fortunes turned but I was happier when we had less. Still have a great relationship with my parents, their earlier spending habits have rubbed off on me so we are not flash at all.

Also had neither. I can't even imagine what that would be like.

So fortunate to have had both, my siblings and I all went to the best schools , we had nanny and staff to look after the house . We had beach house and a place in the country. Travelled every summer.
My DF although quite well off, did work incredibly hard all his life to get to where he wanted .

My DM always proper ,brought up to know what to say and do, she was also great at running house and budgeting.
I really couldn’t ask for a nicer or better childhood, we kids were so happy and very well looked after.

although many people we knew were far wealthier But children were never happy , sent to boarding schools very young. absent , uninvolved parents.

Interesting what someone else said up thread. I know someone who had both, was worshipped by both parents and extended family and was given everything a child could need and whatever they asked for, money and gift wise.

They have ended up a grown adult unable to cope with life. Don't know how to do anything, and have no understanding or comprehension of how to deal with the financial side of life.

Me, I had neither.

Beautiful home, private school, pony (well the pony was at my grandparents), holidays, clothes......

Parents hated each other and mother was a classic narcissist. I learnt that on here. My dad was a dream. Both parents married three times.

My grandparents were my anchor and I spent at least a third of my time up to 18 with them.

The one thing I learnt was that you don't mess your children about.

I am lucky to have had loving parents with good parenting skills, and enough money to enjoy it (eg holidays etc - no pony, not that loaded!). I feel extremely fortunate especially as I work with people who have typically experienced many adversities, abuses and maltreatment. My background I know gave me a giant leg up in education, in fostering good relationships, and in the work I've ended up in.

I have lots of wonderful memories of times with my parent, brother and other relatives, on holidays big and small and in our house and garden.

Raised by lovely grandparents

Like others I also feel my parents taught good values and didnt spoil us- I had a job from age 15, they are not materialistic people, they value family, decency and the small things.

I had a loving mum but we were very poor. We still made lots of amazing memories. But I dont want my child to worry about money, and we also have time to be involved parents. I guess work life balance has become more of a priority nowadays.

I had (have) absolutely doting parents who even though divorced still get on very well but we were properly skint for a few years. Then my df remained skint, and is still objectively poor now, but my dm managed to clear some debts, get a modest but nice house in a lovely area (I walked home from secondary school along the beach which was pretty magical) and I didn't have my own pony but did have riding and ballet lessons.

I was offered private schooling but turned it down because it would have meant my dm working another 12 hour night shift on top of the 3 she already did.

I didn't have a perfect childhood by any stretch of the imagination (and went through a few pretty traumatic events including the death of a friend when I was 11 and sa when I was 13) but I'm happy and stable now.

Which I likely would not have been without the massive amount of support and love I had from both parents.

The nice area to live in and the horses and ballet were nice but they weren't what stopped me from killing myself at my lowest point, that was my parents abundant, clear and wholly unconditional love.

A worse relationship with them I would definitely be dead. No amount of money or horses or dancing would have saved me.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is I've had loving parents and money, and loving parents and no money. The money didn't really make a difference but the loving parents definitely did.

Not rich, but lived in a 4 bed detached from the age of 5 (we're talking 1990 in Yorkshire so mum and dad bought land and had it built for 90k!). State school, no ponies. 2 package holidays a year - term time! These holidays to Spain and Portugal are some of my best memories, right up til I was about 16 and no longer "first child goes free"

I had frugal parents who both worked in "sensible finances" professions - new build property and financial services. I was always taught about how to avoid debt and how to tread the line between saving and having a life. I had everything I needed and some of what I wanted.

But the absolute key here was that they only had one child. They could afford to help with uni, a small house deposit in the 00s, and split my wedding with my in-laws. My opportunities would have been significantly less with a sibling.

Both and now I'm older I realise how lucky I am

I had a financially privileged childhood and between 10-18 went to a lovely school. But my mum used to hit me, scream at me, break my possessions and ridicule and humiliate me. I felt so, so safe at school.

I had two loving parents both in very high earning jobs.
I was very lucky. We wanted for nothing.

I had both, thankfully.

My parents were typical rags to riches- both grew up in abject poverty, pulled from school and sent to work by the age of 11, then managed to pull themselves out of it and build two successful businesses.

They’re fabulous parents but didn’t have a lot of time for me when I was younger and I have very few memories of my dad from when I was a child. We got much closer once I reached adulthood.

Financially, we never had a lavish lifestyle or flash luxuries, mainly because they worked so much, but had a stunning house and plenty of money for anything we needed. Parents have been exceptionally generous over the years with gifts towards big purchases. They’re also great for a bit of financial advice.

They’re wonderful people, and I’m privileged to have them.

To be fair, I’m a hard worker and have always been able to stand on my own two feet financially and emotionally, but they’ve always given me a soft place to land so I’ve always had a feeling of security.

@ouchmyfeet I lost my mum too at a similar age. Didn't inherit much, but would do anything to have her back.

Yes, I had/have both. I count myself as truly blessed and am very grateful that I have the parents that I do. Even more so after having dc. I wish I’d realised back then how good I had it.

I grew up with very loving parents and a close knit family. We still are. My parents came from ‘good stock’ but I remember times growing up we had very little. But if I wanted to do ballet, or riding, or experiences then they would find the money. Materially, they put no worth in labels or brands.
I have grown up to find my parents are actually very comfortably well off. They were not poor, but extremely thrifty. They taught us about worth rather than cost. It was all so subtly done. It’s hard to describe.

I had no financial privilege and could level many criticisms about the way I was parented
However I always felt loved and wanted and that made a huge difference
I had a pretty shit upbringing including poverty and sexual abuse but that wasn’t my parents fault

@DesMartinsPetCat

I had both, thankfully.

My parents were typical rags to riches- both grew up in abject poverty, pulled from school and sent to work by the age of 11, then managed to pull themselves out of it and build two successful businesses.

They’re fabulous parents but didn’t have a lot of time for me when I was younger and I have very few memories of my dad from when I was a child. We got much closer once I reached adulthood.

Financially, we never had a lavish lifestyle or flash luxuries, mainly because they worked so much, but had a stunning house and plenty of money for anything we needed. Parents have been exceptionally generous over the years with gifts towards big purchases. They’re also great for a bit of financial advice.

They’re wonderful people, and I’m privileged to have them.

To be fair, I’m a hard worker and have always been able to stand on my own two feet financially and emotionally, but they’ve always given me a soft place to land so I’ve always had a feeling of security.

This last paragraph really struck me. DH and I enjoy a good lifestyle, but we work incredibly hard too. It’s ingrained. I hope our DC have that same feeling of security.

Yes I had both.

It was wonderful.

My parents are both incredibly loving capable parents and also a very strong couple in their own right. We had all sorts of amazing opportunities growing up but also taught strong personal responsibility, work ethic etc.

It prepared me well for adulthood, relationships etc.

I am very aware of how lucky I am - though many of my friends have similar backgrounds / experiences so it’s not unique.

I had both until my dad sadly passed away at 15 - we still were comfortable financially, private schools etc but the glue that held our family together dissolved and my mother was incredibly sad for many years which was hard even though she did love me and support me. Happily switch it for an upbringing without much money but with a full loving family life.

I had (have) very loving parents and lots of happy memories: watching certain TV shows together, theatre trips, family holidays, playing board games and card games, days out, sitting on the kitchen counter talking to my mum about our days as she cooked dinner, bedtime reading and silly rituals (one with my mum, one with my dad) - some memories too early to even have real form, just feelings of safety and happiness.

I wasn't privileged - no ponies or private school, but I had parents who put the time in and supported me, helped me at times I didn't understand things at school and examined it in a different way. I always had a warm, safe home, nice clothes, experiences and hobbies. My dad did lots of overtime to make sure they could afford those things.

Wealth isn't essential to happiness, but I think money is, in so far as having enough to cover a stable life and to afford interests.

I had 2 loving, brilliant parents. They had money and I went to private school and on lovely holidays. I was so lucky.
My father died before I was 30, my mother had cancer and I have 2 SEN kids.
So a blessed life but also one with huge challenges too.

I had loving parents, I say we are middle class, parents both worked, they paid a mortgage and we got good clothes, got good stuff for xmas etc. Went to a normal public school. My mum and dad split when I was 11, was actually the day before I started high school. We saw him more then than we used to. By the time I was 16 he started to draw back but we had our own lives. He has a new family and I have 3 younger siblings, he calls every couple of months. He’s not the greatest father but he’s not a dick either.