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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible neighbours

78 replies

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 01:34

So a bit of background to begin, We’ve been privately renting our ground floor flat for the past 4 years with myself, other half and 2 daughters 7 & 10. It is a block of 12 flats and another block of 12 opposite,so apart from the usual parking conundrum and the appalling bin area where bags can’t make it in to a bin, all was well.
This has been building up since November 2019 when we had a Bulgarian family move in to the flat opposite us and then in February 2020 when a scummy English family moved in next to them. The place has gone very abruptly down hill and I’ve had to endure 3 lock downs with these very ignorant and rude neighbours.
So Bulgarians have numerous visitors a week including in lockdowns, they slam the doors, are constantly in and out smoking and filling the cigarette bucket with flammable rubbish. (I had to put 3 fires out in a week before). They are all 2 bedroom flats so I have no idea how they fit at least 8 adults and about 5 kids under 5 in them?! This weekend just gone they had another “lockdown” party. I’ve had enough so I finally got the courage to report them. It goes against everything I’ve been brought up with, don’t ever grass on people and all that but enoughs enough! The first lock down I thought there may have been a language barrier so myself and another neighbour had to explain that they are not allowed to have people round. A sign on the communial door was also put up as they still obviously couldn’t understand they were breaking the rules.

Let’s know add the scummy English family into the mix. A large bench was lovingly placed right outside my kitchen window ( for emphasis we are all ground floor flats) where they would bbq at least 5 times in a week, it was very hot so my windows were open and the coal smoke was wafting right in and the sound of their young kids screaming there heads off following the smoke right through my window! They have their own kitchen window to bbq outside of but they obviously liked an audience. I asked them if they could move the bench and bbq so it wasn’t right in front of my window which was met with hostility, they could see nothing wrong with it as it was a communial garden. After weeks of having to endure the bast**rd bench and bbq I moved it 2 metres to the left so it wasn’t directly in my view! They were not happy! So awkward silences ensued.
I took a look at there patch of communial garden where their windows are, to be greeted with a slide, climbing frame, ball pool, paddling( paddling pool was put up in august and is still out there and we are in February) and other toys which are strewn about. No wonder why they couldn’t put a bench and a bbq there! There was no room left for anyone else to use it let alone themselves. (In our tenancy agreement it states that nothing should be left out in communial areas so my poor girls have never had any garden toys).
There is still so much more that has happened and my mental health is absolutely f*ed because I never new people could be like this.
The spitting near the entrance of the flats is another story and my front door being kicked and being verbally abused and being stalked through my windows and my daughters bike being stolen. Ahh the list goes on.
But please let me know your opinions. Am I being over sensitive? A bit dramatic? It has just become extremely overwhelming and I feel as if I’m turning into a “Karen” with my moany 30 year old self.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2021 01:37

What does being Bulgarian or English have to do with it? Confused

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 01:39

Absolutely nothing it was just for context and to distinguish between the two families

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 03/02/2021 01:39

What @Aquamarine1029 said ^^ Confused

Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2021 01:42

Absolutely nothing it was just for context and to distinguish between the two families

Really? Family A and Family B wouldn't suffice?

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 01:46

I am English born and bred, this is not about race or culture. I will happily change my post if that’s all you have got from it. 🙄

OP posts:
Marchitectmummy · 03/02/2021 01:51

Poor you sounds dreadful, can your management company help?

Thedogscollar · 03/02/2021 01:55

@JayBenson
Both families sound very antisocial. Have you complained to the landlord about them?
You sound like you have tried to reason with them so I'd be escalating my complaint to someone in authority.

girlofnow · 03/02/2021 01:58

100% complain to the management company about the use of the communal area and breaching covid regulations. Management company should write to the landlord (s), which should persuade them that they need to speak to their tenants.

girlofnow · 03/02/2021 02:01

Unless they are owners themselves in which case the management company will contact them directly. You could also speak to your landlord to ask them to contact the management company, I'm not sure what else they could usefully do though.

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 02:05

Our management company is not the best and as the landlord to the flat of family B (English) is on the management company she wants to keep them sweet so she gets her rent money. I’ve spoken to her about it and all she has said is she can’t evict them because of the new law with evicting tenants during Covid 19. She has advised me to ring the police if their behaviour becomes threatening again but that’s the last thing I want to have to do, I just want them to be respectful to the other people living around them.

OP posts:
TenShortStories · 03/02/2021 02:17

Nightmare neighbours are so incredibly stressful. I know its not fair but any chance you could just move? These things are so hard to sort it's often less hassle to just get yourself out of the situation.

Nenevalleykayaker · 03/02/2021 02:28

Just move home. This exciting drama will go on for endless Seasons.

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 02:30

There have been so many times where I thought f**k it I’ve got to move out of here but we are trying to save for a mortgage and have maybe one more year to go? It makes me so angry because I’m not the one breaking the rules, they are, they’re the ones who should have to move or sort their lives out. My next option, but once again goes against all my morals is “if you can’t beat them, join them” I have a ten foot trampoline that is waiting to go out into the communial garden, that will have a padlock on so no one else can use it so I no it will be covid safe for my girls. Is that going too far? I want to see if anyone moans about it because in hindsight no one really can? I will let my nice neighbours know about it and if they have any issue I won’t do it. Maybe this might be a way of getting the other members of the management company to notice if everyone keeps adding crap to the garden? I will happily take it down if they ask but why should my girls miss out?

OP posts:
lovelemoncurd · 03/02/2021 02:37

You are going to face a losing battle. I would set your sights on saving that money and try to accept that you are not going to be able to change their behaviour. Just be very careful when choosing where you live next.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 03/02/2021 02:42

How can you put a padlock on a trampoline? Personally I'd wipe the play with some bleach and let my DC play on it. If they tell you it's theirs tell them you assumed it was communal as its in the communal garden.

All you can do other than that is complain to whoever owns/manages the building.

FortunesFave · 03/02/2021 02:42

Move. It's really not worth the worry. This isn't a housing association place is it?

DamnUserName21 · 03/02/2021 03:03

@FortunesFave

Move. It's really not worth the worry. This isn't a housing association place is it?
Agree with this massively.
MrMeSeeks · 03/02/2021 03:09

They sound vile ill mannered awful people to be lumbered next too.
Meighbours from
Hell.
Report the one every time ( take photos/videos) every time they have the parties. Normally im not one to report but that’s taking the piss.

Report ( again photos) to management the pile of shit he other family have dumped in the COMMUNAL garden.
Keep a log of any harassment and theft give to the police.
Don’t let them get away with it.

MrMeSeeks · 03/02/2021 03:10

Sometime the police is the only action people like this understand.

Hothammock · 03/02/2021 03:16

They all sound awful. Unfortunately there is just nothing you can do to transform these people into nice neighbours. You might be able to win one or two battles like clearing the communal garden or getting them in trouble for breaching lockdown...but will those things really solve the main problem that you can't happily live anywhere near these awful people?
Of course the whole situation is made far worse by lockdown. And there is no way they will be evicted. I would start locking for somewhere else to live. If you have a year more of saving ahead of you to qualify for a mortgage then realistically you have up to 2 years before you would be able to buy and move into an owned home. That is quire a long time in terms of your mental health and your girls' childhood.

BlackCatShadow · 03/02/2021 03:26

I would still think about moving. It's not going to get better and I agree that one more year may turn out to be more. It's a set-back, but better to live for 2 years somewhere nice than 1 year with all this stress.

Cpl654321 · 03/02/2021 08:03

Both families sound awful but YABVU for describing them as 'the bulgarians' and 'scummy english' - the fact that you are just using these terms to differentiate is so unnecessary!

But like pp have said, beyond calling the police about rule breaking, there is not much you can do. You can't force them to be nice people, and it sounds like even the authorities are not going to convince them to turn into lovely neighbours.

I would honestly look at moving. I had nightmare neighbors who took against us after we did give them our parking space (didn't have a car all the time), and they seemed to really enjoy being arseholes to us, so I don't think any kind of 'nice chat' would have worked. We were renting though, so made it easy to move.

MrsMoastyToasty · 03/02/2021 08:07

Report the household with 8 adults etc to the council. It sounds like an illegal HMO.

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/02/2021 08:08

Time to move.

Frouby · 03/02/2021 08:12

There is an exemption I believe on evictions due to anti social behaviour under the current covid guidance.

Tbh OP I would phone the police re the more extreme behaviour like parties.

I would put flower tubs outside your window to prevent the bench returning.

The fags and flammable rubbish would be a complaint to the management company. The spitting the same. Anything like kicking your door, police.

But the garden with toys I can't get annoyed about, put your trampoline up if you want but I suspect it will cause arguements but I'd let my kids have similar toys out to what they have. Lockdown is a killer with kids and in a flat 1000 times worse, as it stands you probably feel too intimidated to let your kids use it. So I'd bite my tongue on petty stuff, and build relationships enough to enjoy the garden as well, if you can't beat them join them. It's not forever, a year and you can move.

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