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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible neighbours

78 replies

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 01:34

So a bit of background to begin, We’ve been privately renting our ground floor flat for the past 4 years with myself, other half and 2 daughters 7 & 10. It is a block of 12 flats and another block of 12 opposite,so apart from the usual parking conundrum and the appalling bin area where bags can’t make it in to a bin, all was well.
This has been building up since November 2019 when we had a Bulgarian family move in to the flat opposite us and then in February 2020 when a scummy English family moved in next to them. The place has gone very abruptly down hill and I’ve had to endure 3 lock downs with these very ignorant and rude neighbours.
So Bulgarians have numerous visitors a week including in lockdowns, they slam the doors, are constantly in and out smoking and filling the cigarette bucket with flammable rubbish. (I had to put 3 fires out in a week before). They are all 2 bedroom flats so I have no idea how they fit at least 8 adults and about 5 kids under 5 in them?! This weekend just gone they had another “lockdown” party. I’ve had enough so I finally got the courage to report them. It goes against everything I’ve been brought up with, don’t ever grass on people and all that but enoughs enough! The first lock down I thought there may have been a language barrier so myself and another neighbour had to explain that they are not allowed to have people round. A sign on the communial door was also put up as they still obviously couldn’t understand they were breaking the rules.

Let’s know add the scummy English family into the mix. A large bench was lovingly placed right outside my kitchen window ( for emphasis we are all ground floor flats) where they would bbq at least 5 times in a week, it was very hot so my windows were open and the coal smoke was wafting right in and the sound of their young kids screaming there heads off following the smoke right through my window! They have their own kitchen window to bbq outside of but they obviously liked an audience. I asked them if they could move the bench and bbq so it wasn’t right in front of my window which was met with hostility, they could see nothing wrong with it as it was a communial garden. After weeks of having to endure the bast**rd bench and bbq I moved it 2 metres to the left so it wasn’t directly in my view! They were not happy! So awkward silences ensued.
I took a look at there patch of communial garden where their windows are, to be greeted with a slide, climbing frame, ball pool, paddling( paddling pool was put up in august and is still out there and we are in February) and other toys which are strewn about. No wonder why they couldn’t put a bench and a bbq there! There was no room left for anyone else to use it let alone themselves. (In our tenancy agreement it states that nothing should be left out in communial areas so my poor girls have never had any garden toys).
There is still so much more that has happened and my mental health is absolutely f*ed because I never new people could be like this.
The spitting near the entrance of the flats is another story and my front door being kicked and being verbally abused and being stalked through my windows and my daughters bike being stolen. Ahh the list goes on.
But please let me know your opinions. Am I being over sensitive? A bit dramatic? It has just become extremely overwhelming and I feel as if I’m turning into a “Karen” with my moany 30 year old self.

OP posts:
SlothMama · 03/02/2021 09:57

Personally I'd move, I wouldn't put up with it for another year.

twilightcafe · 03/02/2021 09:57

Your neighbours will know that you reported them. Which could make life more difficult for you.
I agree with other posters - your best plan would be to move. You will drive yourself mad trying to change your neighbours' behaviour.

islockdownoveryet · 03/02/2021 10:15

@pictish

Have we really become so facile as to call racism when someone is rightly identified or referred to by their nationality?

I’m Scottish and so is my husband. We’re a Scottish family.
Have I just been racist about myself?

Agree ridiculous she referred to them as the Bulgarian family and scummy English family as that is who they are . To your actual problem op I do agree if not getting any better you either complain to them , their landlord or you move .
Buntysbosom · 03/02/2021 10:22

@RoseHipps

‘Being a Karen’. Yawn. I was kind of feeling sorry for you before you spouted that.
Me too. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4068015-Use-of-Karen-as-a-slur?msgid=101572306
Fuckitsstillraining · 03/02/2021 10:23

She called them that because its what they are.

Brefugee · 03/02/2021 10:45

nah - scummy family is ok. Family over-occupying a 2 bed flat also ok. Antisocial fuckers also ok. It's not ok when you bring into it a characteristic that they can't change.

Imagine the MN pearl clutching if she said "scummy black family"? Or scummy gay family? Smelly south Asian family? Drunken Scottish family?

Cam2020 · 03/02/2021 10:54

Well it does make a difference when highlighting that there might have been a language barrier with the first family and none at all with the second.

And actually if you had to put up with this shit, you might be inclined to call a family scummy too Confused

SurvivalIsInsufficient · 03/02/2021 10:56

Why have you called them a 'scummy English family' and 'Bulgarians'? confused

Because that is what they are?

It's not racist to call Bulgarians Bulgarian, ffs!

Cam2020 · 03/02/2021 11:00

move somewhere where you don't have to be so classist and racist?

So being from another country or your class means you behave badly? You seem to be implying that class/'race' goes with horrible behaviour? #ignorant.

pumpkinbump · 03/02/2021 11:01

Sounds awful! Some families just have no respect for other people and take no pride in their living surroundings. The pair of the families sound like a nightmare!

MaelyssQ · 03/02/2021 11:06

I would move, it sounds awful. I know you're saving for a mortgage but is there any way you can speed things up, maybe lower your sights for a year or so? This situation isn't fair on you or your children.

ineedtogooutlater · 03/02/2021 11:09

Imagine the MN pearl clutching if she said "scummy black family"? Or scummy gay family? Smelly south Asian family? Drunken Scottish family?

None of those are similar. Being English could mean black or white. She didn't use a stereotype or describe their sexuality. She called them scummy.

Eeeeeeeeeeeek · 03/02/2021 11:11

Dear God, the posters calling you racist 🙄 most people saw it as possibly having a language barrier, scummy English because their behaviour is scummy
I would probably report the over crowding and fire hazard, that would concern me

NanuNanuM · 03/02/2021 11:12

Move. It sounds awful and it's crap for your mental health.

Angel2702 · 03/02/2021 11:12

We have a few Bulgarian families living here. Who explain that it is their culture to have large family gatherings daily, play music loudly and are generally loud even when speaking. Smoking heavily also seems to be cultural. They are all very open to the fact that this is their normal and how it is for them at home they don’t see it as being antisocial. Ours carried on with 10 people visiting during lockdown despite several police visits.

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 03/02/2021 11:29

Jesus OP. This is horrific. If you rent I would look at leaving.

We have several Eastern European neighbours too and one house in particular has groups and groups of people round their house all the time, have done all the way through lockdown. I can't help but think it is a language barrier or some sort, they don't understand the threat of Covid maybe.

However I would don your tin hat as any mention of race or class on here has you hounded by the masses.

Mumsgirls · 03/02/2021 11:30

You will never change people like that who have no consideration for other people.
No need for the Karen insult, that is also being horrible to loads of blameless women.

Emeraldshamrock · 03/02/2021 13:49

I can't help but think it is a language barrier or some sort, they don't understand the threat of Covid maybe
Obviously not speaking for every EE the ones I know don't care about a virus they're superior or immune to the virus.
DP said they're the group who argue over wearing a face mask in the stores.

DamnUserName21 · 03/02/2021 14:11

@Emeraldshamrock

I can't help but think it is a language barrier or some sort, they don't understand the threat of Covid maybe Obviously not speaking for every EE the ones I know don't care about a virus they're superior or immune to the virus. DP said they're the group who argue over wearing a face mask in the stores.
I work with a lot of EE also. Generally speaking, they are very sceptical about the virus. See it as being blown out of proportion or a govt control scam. And those I work with don't believe the death rates either. Most tend to have good comprehension and speaking English skills too. They definitely are aware of the pandemic!
CSIblonde · 03/02/2021 15:37

Bin the toys left outside, they're obv not bothered about them. Put paddling pool & emptied ball pool under the slide & climbing frame. Then move barbecue stuff to that bit so they're not spreading out. Then report them to Management. You have a legal right to 24/7 'quiet enjoyment' of your property. This doesn't only apply between 11pm & 7am as many people seem to think. ( Including many dodgy London landlords , but I digress).

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 03/02/2021 15:44

@RoseHipps

‘Being a Karen’. Yawn. I was kind of feeling sorry for you before you spouted that.
Yup, same here. Hey ho.
Applefruitcake · 03/02/2021 15:49

I think reporting them will only turn them against you really, which is likely to make the situation even worse. Yes, they may eventually get evicted, but realistically it will probably take months and months especially with the current climate (not to mention the stress. I think you only really have two options. The first is to join them e.g. put your own barbecue in front of your window, put some garden toys out etc. The other choice would be to just move. Yes, it's stressful and expensive, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Another year is a long time to be miserable.

Applefruitcake · 03/02/2021 15:50

Also don't understand the relevance of their ethnic background 🤔

lazyarse123 · 03/02/2021 15:53

@Aquamarine1029

What does being Bulgarian or English have to do with it? Confused
Why is this shit always spouted? It's not automatically racist or xenophobic to mention someones race, age sex or size. If you've nothing helpful to add kindly stfu.
OnlyheretovoteonAIBU · 03/02/2021 16:27

@Aquamarine1029

What does being Bulgarian or English have to do with it? Confused
Oh here we go....

Deliberately miss the point so you can label someone ‘racist’.

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