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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible neighbours

78 replies

JayBenson · 03/02/2021 01:34

So a bit of background to begin, We’ve been privately renting our ground floor flat for the past 4 years with myself, other half and 2 daughters 7 & 10. It is a block of 12 flats and another block of 12 opposite,so apart from the usual parking conundrum and the appalling bin area where bags can’t make it in to a bin, all was well.
This has been building up since November 2019 when we had a Bulgarian family move in to the flat opposite us and then in February 2020 when a scummy English family moved in next to them. The place has gone very abruptly down hill and I’ve had to endure 3 lock downs with these very ignorant and rude neighbours.
So Bulgarians have numerous visitors a week including in lockdowns, they slam the doors, are constantly in and out smoking and filling the cigarette bucket with flammable rubbish. (I had to put 3 fires out in a week before). They are all 2 bedroom flats so I have no idea how they fit at least 8 adults and about 5 kids under 5 in them?! This weekend just gone they had another “lockdown” party. I’ve had enough so I finally got the courage to report them. It goes against everything I’ve been brought up with, don’t ever grass on people and all that but enoughs enough! The first lock down I thought there may have been a language barrier so myself and another neighbour had to explain that they are not allowed to have people round. A sign on the communial door was also put up as they still obviously couldn’t understand they were breaking the rules.

Let’s know add the scummy English family into the mix. A large bench was lovingly placed right outside my kitchen window ( for emphasis we are all ground floor flats) where they would bbq at least 5 times in a week, it was very hot so my windows were open and the coal smoke was wafting right in and the sound of their young kids screaming there heads off following the smoke right through my window! They have their own kitchen window to bbq outside of but they obviously liked an audience. I asked them if they could move the bench and bbq so it wasn’t right in front of my window which was met with hostility, they could see nothing wrong with it as it was a communial garden. After weeks of having to endure the bast**rd bench and bbq I moved it 2 metres to the left so it wasn’t directly in my view! They were not happy! So awkward silences ensued.
I took a look at there patch of communial garden where their windows are, to be greeted with a slide, climbing frame, ball pool, paddling( paddling pool was put up in august and is still out there and we are in February) and other toys which are strewn about. No wonder why they couldn’t put a bench and a bbq there! There was no room left for anyone else to use it let alone themselves. (In our tenancy agreement it states that nothing should be left out in communial areas so my poor girls have never had any garden toys).
There is still so much more that has happened and my mental health is absolutely f*ed because I never new people could be like this.
The spitting near the entrance of the flats is another story and my front door being kicked and being verbally abused and being stalked through my windows and my daughters bike being stolen. Ahh the list goes on.
But please let me know your opinions. Am I being over sensitive? A bit dramatic? It has just become extremely overwhelming and I feel as if I’m turning into a “Karen” with my moany 30 year old self.

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 03/02/2021 08:15

Sadly there are lot of people like this out there. You've been lucky until now.

I suggest you move. I know it's wrong they should be the ones to go. But it's going to cause you less stress. Be very glad you don't own.

There seem to be posters who only exist to monitor other posters references to nationality/age/ weight. Quite often these are relevant or important for context. I'd ignore them. They're determined to demonstrate you're racist because you said 'Bulgarian'.

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/02/2021 08:16

For lockdown breaches, report to police each time.

For contravening agreement re communal garden, photograph and send to management company.

You might not want to be the one to report but these situations are not going to resolve themselves.

elsaesmeralda · 03/02/2021 08:17

I agree it doesn't sound good and abit of a nightmare for sure, but you don't sound very pleasant yourself the way you're describing them.

Yesterman1 · 03/02/2021 08:21

I go with pp who say move. I know it would only be for a year or so but it's a year of peace rather than a year of internal bubbling anger over this horrible behaviour. If you can get out of your contract I say go for it.

Theunamedcat · 03/02/2021 08:25

Padlock your trampoline? They are net? You just squeeze under them plus of course they are easy to vandalise especially if your a smoker

You should move if you can

TisConfusion · 03/02/2021 08:29

You have my sympathies. We have had horrible neighbours for the past two years and it certainly doesn't look like they will be moving any time soon and as others have said - you can't change these people. So we will be moving as soon as we can afford to do so. I think it's the only answer. It's just putting up with their shitty behaviour in the mean time that's the problem.

sluj · 03/02/2021 08:30

One of the massive advantages of private renting is that you get to choose for yourself where you want to live. I would definitely move.

CarryOnPlainHunting · 03/02/2021 08:30

Ta me a financial hit and move. This won’t get any better and will make you very miserable.

Brefugee · 03/02/2021 08:36

move somewhere where you don't have to be so classist and racist?

In reality: it's difficult. Where you have evidence of rule breaking call the police. Where you don't (bins etc) call the council?

pictish · 03/02/2021 08:45

Tbh the English family sound much worse than the Bulgarian family.
The bbqs right outside your window are just terrible...I think you’re right, they like an audience, the obnoxious fucks. People who impose themselves on others this way are not to be reasoned with in my experience. They enjoy bullying others and easily become hostile when challenged.

If it is case of being able to rent somewhere else instead, I would. Otherwise fuck knows. Sorry.

SuperHighway · 03/02/2021 08:50

In what way is OP being classist (standards of behaviour have nothing to do with class) or racist (Bulgarians are not a different race)?

OP I would move if I were you. I don't see how moving to a different rental will scupper your saving plans. We had horrible neighbours and moved a couple of years before we had planned to. Inconvenient and an expense we could have done without at the time (Estate agent and conveyancing fees), but best thing we ever did.

Calmandmeasured1 · 03/02/2021 08:51

move somewhere where you don't have to be so classist and racist?
There is nothing racist in the OP stating her neighbours are a Bulgarian family or Bulgarians. It is a statement of fact. The reason she mentioned it was because she thought there may have been a language barrier that preventing them following the rules because they didn't understand them. Don't make this out to be something it isn't.

Zofloratheexplorer · 03/02/2021 08:56

you're privately renting so move.

strawberriesontheNeva · 03/02/2021 08:58

Why have you called them a 'scummy English family' and 'Bulgarians'? Confused

arethereanyleftatall · 03/02/2021 08:59

There is nothing wrong with the op stating theyre Bulgarians. I'm so bored of this. It's completely relevant. It means that op possibly can't communicate with them. It means that they have different cultures and ways of being. There is nothing 'wrong' with that, of course there's not, but it is completely relevant given what the op describes.

chatw00 · 03/02/2021 09:01

I would move. Having lived in flats for a long time, I know that once these things start, they just chip away at you / your mental state!

If they really are as bad as you say, and you've reported them to the management company (and they did nothing), find somewhere else to live - but try and check out the neighbours/noise situation before signing anything!

chatw00 · 03/02/2021 09:02

@strawberriesontheNeva

Why have you called them a 'scummy English family' and 'Bulgarians'? Confused
Clearly there's an English family and a Bulgarian family. Neither of which know how to act in a multiple occupancy building.

Happy to help.

Emeraldshamrock · 03/02/2021 09:02

What a bloody nightmare it is irrelevant where they are from though from my Bulgarian neighbours it gives me a picture of the volume of visitors as mine have many daily.
Definitely move.
It is not worth the stress it sounds awful.

RoseHipps · 03/02/2021 09:06

‘Being a Karen’. Yawn. I was kind of feeling sorry for you before you spouted that.

strawberriesontheNeva · 03/02/2021 09:10

@chatw00 you clever clogs

SaltyTootsieToes · 03/02/2021 09:20

Can you move? I know you said you’re saving for a deposit and you have one more year, can you not move for that last year? Surely for your MH and that if your family? As management won’t do anything and you’re reluctant to call the police, nothing will change.

I can only wonder what things will be like as regards visitors, once lock down is over so things could actually get worse.

peacequietplease · 03/02/2021 09:47

Sending sympathy OP - do you have a local councillor who can help? Our local councillor has been really helpful dealing with any ASB issues on our behalf.

My advice would be to report, report, report - report to any one who is relevant and keep doing so. This is the only thing I have ever found works in this situation - you need to keep on at them and don't let up until they take notice, send emails to anyone who could possibly help and take photos of everything you can to back up your case.

Keratinsmooth · 03/02/2021 09:51

What does your landlord say?

im5050 · 03/02/2021 09:52

Anti social behaviour is one of the few things that people can be evicted for atm
One of my neighbours just got evicted for anti social behaviour by the council
Took a long time and he fought it every inch of the way but there was lots of evidence including a crown court order against him and restraining orders against him as well
He finally went a few weeks ago
But without lots of evidence you won’t have much chance and landlords won’t want to evict as they can end up getting no rent for months and a trashed house back costing them thousands of pounds

pictish · 03/02/2021 09:55

Have we really become so facile as to call racism when someone is rightly identified or referred to by their nationality?

I’m Scottish and so is my husband. We’re a Scottish family.
Have I just been racist about myself?

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