Captain Tom 😢

[StCharlotte]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-55881753

He did more in his last year than most of us manage in a lifetime.

Truly a life well lived.

@joystir59

All this apparent weeping for someone you've never met isn't true grief, it's sentimental indulgence. You are enjoying having a little cry. Grief turns you inside out and is painful beyond bearing.

I wonder what on earth would make anyone think that they need to tell others this?

Really? You thought people who are commenting that it’s sad that someone has died have no experience of their heart being ripped out by grief? You alone have that understanding?

How absurdly self-centred.

@joystir59

All this apparent weeping for someone you've never met isn't true grief, it's sentimental indulgence. You are enjoying having a little cry. Grief turns you inside out and is painful beyond bearing.

I lost my brother when he was 32. I'll never get over that. But guess what I shed a tear yesterday when I heard the news of Tom Moore's death. People are sad about all sorts of things and that's their prerogative. It's not up to you to police others' emotions.

@Miljea, thank you an excellent and balanced post.

My god @joystir59 those are some of the nastiest posts I’ve ever read on mumsnet. What a weird decision to come on to a thread paying respects to someone who’s just died to to say such awful things.

21:03 randomer

If he had been a deserter would the rhetotic have been the same?

What? 🤯

@joystir59

All this apparent weeping for someone you've never met isn't true grief, it's sentimental indulgence. You are enjoying having a little cry. Grief turns you inside out and is painful beyond bearing.

Why confuse your personal grief with posters here who are being empathetic towards a family who have suffered a loss?

I know how his family feel today. I know his daughter will be holding her sobbing children just like I did. I find that upsetting. Shoot me.

What a weird decision to weep for the death of a very old man you didn't know.
Its sad for his family, its not actually sad for us though is it?
Diana, so young and beautiful the 2 boys behind the coffin, that was sad.
But again we didn't know her.

Perhaps we project our grief and pain onto these figure heads as a means of coping. Its one step away and therefore safe.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Calm down @DenisetheMenace no one has said it isn't a tragic death

But I do think it's more tragic to lose a young person than a person who has lived to the age of 100, with a life full of love, family, achievements and adoration. An ex-colleague of mine died of COVID last week aged 39, leaving behind a wife and 3 kids under 6 (one is a newborn). That IS more tragic than the loss of a 100yo.“

I’m very calm. Always am. Enigmatic, my friends tell me.

I disagree with you, that’s all. Just don’t think youth trumps all whatever the circumstance, never have.

“Diana, so young and beautiful“

Is that the criteria for grief?

Didn’t shed tears for that lady I didn’t know. Did for Captain Tom 🤷‍♀️ Depends what touches you personally I suppose.

I

@MNHQ
I’d suggest since everyone acknowledges that his family may read this thread one day that this thread is deleted. Despite many kind messages on here from strangers there are also some horrible ones adding nothing but potential distress. Why give them the satisfaction?

There is no criteria for grief and you can grieve what you never had.

randomer

“There is no criteria for grief and you can grieve what you never had.“

Exactly, which is what millions are doing for Captain Tom Moore. You recognise that, then?
Interesting as your posts so far suggest otherwise.
Anyway, have a fruitful day.

[quote DateLoaf]@MNHQ
I’d suggest since everyone acknowledges that his family may read this thread one day that this thread is deleted. Despite many kind messages on here from strangers there are also some horrible ones adding nothing but potential distress. Why give them the satisfaction?[/quote]
Sadly I agree.

My point was that it's sad for his immediate family that their Dad/Grandad has died,of course it is.For the public,it is something else that is playing out.

Fruitful sounds a bit snippy but no worries.

@randomer given your posts seem to contradict each other it’s not hard to see where your username comes from.

I agree this thread should be deleted. Although I suspect that’s what those feeling the need to post vile and judgemental comments all over it were hoping to achieve.

Maybe anyone who has a comment deleted for it’s nastiness should be banned for a time instead.

I really hope the government decide to do something in his honour like name a public building after him.

randomer

For the public,it is something else that is playing out.

Fruitful sounds a bit snippy but no worries.“

Doesn’t really matter what’s playing out though, does it, if it comforts people?

Not my intention at all. I think fruitful is an excellent word and often use it when someone asks how my day has been.

Have a nice day (better ?)

I was saddened by this news too. I didn't pay any attention to him when he was doing the walk other than to note it was happening but watching the news this morning when they montaged his life it did make me sad. He had a long and fulfilling life and was obviously loved by many and he inspired people ( that little boy with prosthetic legs!) which is surely a good thing. I have lost both parents and 2 babies. I know trie grief but am entitled to feel a little sad at his passing. My condolences to his family and friends.

And yes maybe this should be removed if people cannot respect the talk guidelines. What is MN coming to?

that little boy with prosthetic legs!

I saw that this morning. His message to Caption Tom was so lovely, so sad that they didn't get the chance to meet. He's another inspiring person that we can all look up to. We really need them right now.

TBH I think the fact it was COVID is what makes this more poignant.

To have made COVID such a big part of his drive over the past year, to have walked to raise the money specifically because of COVID and then to become a victim of it, must almost feel like being cheated. Iyswim.

This is why people are touched by the fact he died, because he was so present and represented so much of what is going on right now.

” I’m very calm. Always am. Enigmatic, my friends tell me. ”

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

LagneyandCasey

“that little boy with prosthetic legs!

Watching wriggling and distracted Tony’s mum trying valiantly to get him interested in the camera on BBC interviews has provided us with several much needed belly-laughs in this house. Great little character (and stoic, lovely mum).

Ginevere

” I’m very calm. Always am. Enigmatic, my friends tell me. ”

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

And a bringer of joy too it seems, fantastic

😇