To not see 70 as elderly

[Ibeliveinyou]

I don’t know if if it’s because my parents are now that age but I just don’t see a 70 as old.

At 70 my parents didn't seem elderly but 5 years later my mum did and at 78 seems very frai. My dad less so.
It's very strange because my mum was very active when she was younger yet my dad never was.

@SurvivalIsInsufficient

When my aunt died at 72 the doctors all said it was young and premature because most people in the UK die at 89

No dr said such a thing. Most people do not die at age 89, perfectly obviously.

Actually most people DO die at 89 - that is mode age for death in the UK for females. Slightly less for males. See ONS data.

The covid crisis has highlighted an important flaw with the “you’re only as old as you feel” concept. The number one determinator of dying from covid is age. Of course some people will be healthier than others but ageing always brings additional health challenges. And kidding ourselves that elderly/ old/ mature people are in the same condition as 40, 50 and even 60 year olds is just something we tell ourselves to deny the process.

Actually most people DO die at 89 - that is mode age for death in the UK for females. Slightly less for males. See ONS data

Actually, they do not. You've either entirely misunderstood the stats or you have xplained your point badly. Probably both.

No that’s not what modal means. It doesn’t mean that most people die at 89. As that would imply that more than 50% die at that age. It means that the most common age of death is 89. Lots of people die at all the other ages and the curve increases as people age. It just means that slightly more die at 89 than at 88 or 83 for example.

And kidding ourselves that elderly/ old/ mature people are in the same condition as 40, 50 and even 60 year olds is just something we tell ourselves to deny the process

That in itself is denial of how individual people are and how misleading it is to lump people into homogeneous groups. My dad was in considerably better nick with no chronic health conditions in his 90s than his son-in-law in his 50s. Yes, it’s anecdotal and yes, he was an outlier but it’s still fact, not denial. One of the really shocking thing about Shipman’s victims was how healthy and active they all were.

My dad was in considerably better nick with no chronic health conditions in his 90s than his son-in-law in his 50s. Yes, it’s anecdotal and yes, he was an outlier but it’s still fact, not denial

Good for him. But he was still extremely old in his 90's, no matter if he was the fittest nonogenarian that ever lived. Old is old. Fit or not makes no difference!

Fitness makes an incredible difference. To say otherwise is completely nonsensical, that’s why we talk about chronological age and physiological age.

I don't see 70 as elderly. My mum is 74. Still works full time. Pre Covid was out every weekend in day trips with partner or friends and has loads of hobbies.

I hope I'm as energetic when I get to her age.

No, it doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE at all. Stop conflating 2 completely seperate things!

Age is Age.
Fitness is Fitness.
70 is old, whether you have great fitness or can't even move.

You can see this is true by reversing it. Is 15 young? Is it any less young if the 15 year old is chronically ill, or even in a coma? No, of course not. Fitness or health makes no difference to a definition of youth.
IT makes no difference to a definition of old age either.

What do people get out of being in denial about their age? Is it fear of their own mortality? Their own negative stereotypes about older people?

My father is very fit. He’s in his early 70s. He used to run when he was younger but now he goes out walking every day for 60-90 minutes. He sticks to his ideal BMI and does some strength training with weights twice a week. When he fell on one of his walks recently he broke his hip. He’s had a full hip replacement. When he fell in his 50s and 60s he limped away with cuts, bruises and sprains. Elderly doesn’t mean sitting in a chair all day it means that the same accident has more serious outcomes and the injuries take longer to heal.

My parents are in their 70's, in fact my dad is 79 today. They're trim, fit and healthy, they go walking, bowling, do taekwondo and pre COVID had a very active social life, they are however elderly. They don't do all of the above like they used to, they ache a bit more, they tire easier etc. They're definitely more aged than they were and as I'm middle aged myself, I can see the difference between us.

@SurvivalIsInsufficient

No, it doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE at all. Stop conflating 2 completely seperate things!

Age is Age.
Fitness is Fitness.
70 is old, whether you have great fitness or can't even move.

You can see this is true by reversing it. Is 15 young? Is it any less young if the 15 year old is chronically ill, or even in a coma? No, of course not. Fitness or health makes no difference to a definition of youth.
IT makes no difference to a definition of old age either.

I’m not conflating anything. If you don’t know about other ways of measuring age than chronology there’s frankly no hope for you and shouting doesn’t make nonsense any more credible.

My IL's are 77+ and definitely not elderly!

No that’s not what modal means. It doesn’t mean that most people die at 89. As that would imply that more than 50% die at that age. It means that the most common age of death is 89. Lots of people die at all the other ages and the curve increases as people age. It just means that slightly more die at 89 than at 88 or 83 for example.

Yes I agree- in simple terms you could have 40 people in each group say 40 - 80, 40 - 81, 40 - 82... and so on and have 41 in the 89 group and that would be the mode. Doesn’t mean most people die age 89.

I too dont think of 70 as "elderly".So many people of this age are volunteering ,looking after DGC going to the Gym and I know of a couple who are still working!

What do people get out of being in denial about their age?
Good question! I was blown away when I saw my first mumsnet thread about it, and people were furiously denying that their "sprightly" 80-year-old relative could be old because they still enjoyed "pottering" in their garden.

The constant invention of new euphemisms for something is a sign that we think the reality is too dreadful to call by its name. But what's the point of euphemisms if you use terms such as "sprightly" and "pottering" that are reserved for the description of old people?

My DGP both lived until 95! Nan used to say that she would be happy to get to 70 ,as she would have had "3 score years and ten" which was an old fashioned saying meaning that was a good age to live to .

I know of a couple who are still working!
Yes. "Old" doesn't mean infirm, inactive, bedridden, ill or useless. It just means old.

What does elderly mean? Older years or physically frail/fragile?
I don't see a 70-yr old as automatically being physically frail/fragile although it does mean older years.
My 80-yr old father can still chop & stack a load of logs but he has to do it over 2-3 days rather than 1 day. He's definitely frustrated by his body not being what it was even 5 years ago.
Frail/fragile can hit at any time regardless of age.

If you google elderly a lot comes up. It’s often described as a polite way of referring to old. One Japanese hospital link describes 65-74 as early elderly and 75+ as late elderly.

It’s the same as you see people on threads saying for example - “oh he’s just a baby” when talking about a 4 year old or “you’re still young” when talking about someone in their 40s.

No one is denying that that people can have varying fitness levels but pretending that someone who is 70+ is not elderly is them just kidding themselves.

I’m not conflating anything. If you don’t know about other ways of measuring age than chronology there’s frankly no hope for you and shouting doesn’t make nonsense any more credible

Honestly, you're being ridiculous. Chronology is literally how you measure age. That's what age is. IT's a number that says how long you have been alive.
You do not measure age by fitness levels. You do not measure age by health or conditions. You measure it by taking the day you were born and working out how long ago that was from today!

My IL's are 77+ and definitely not elderly!

They definitely and definitively are elderly.

I just came across this on Twitter:
"I'm not "elderly", I'm old, and dislike euphemisms. There are young people and old people, two ends of a spectrum. 😏"
(by Margaret Nelson, the seventy-something woman who has recently been targeted by trans-rights activists and caused a bit of a twitterstorm with Innocent smoothies for saying something about men not being able to turn into women.)