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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Nanny Travel costs

258 replies

intheshedyes · 01/02/2021 23:18

Hello all,

We hired a new part time nanny who does the morning and after school runs. Two of my children need a train to get to school so pay my nanny travel costs from going to take them to school in the morning and then when she is bringing them back home.

In the mornings, my nanny rides her bike and parks her bike near our closest station. She asked me that once she drops the children to school, can she use the top up travel card, to come back to the station and pick up her bike to drive home.

AIBU to say no. I don't want to pay too much travel as it is!

OP posts:
StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 10:13

@intheshedyes

I think some of the posts have been pragmatic. Being called tight, no common sense, stupid, fool, is very offensive.

The people who I have spoken to do not pay for their nanny's travel fares, even when they take their children out to various of places.

Not the people on your two threads on here though.
jigobsessed · 02/02/2021 10:14

I know this is completely off point but would love to know how you managed to find someone to do morning pick up and afternoon drop off ONLY.

Is she a student? Where does one advertise? Did many people apply or did you find her by luck through personal recommendation?

If not appropriate to ask here , apologies will start own thread in childcare section......

CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/02/2021 10:17

@intheshedyes It sounds like you value her services if you would like her to work more hours, do what you can to keep her and cover the travel. Good nannies are hard to find.

Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 10:17

@jigobsessed

I know this is completely off point but would love to know how you managed to find someone to do morning pick up and afternoon drop off ONLY.

Is she a student? Where does one advertise? Did many people apply or did you find her by luck through personal recommendation?

If not appropriate to ask here , apologies will start own thread in childcare section......

Hello!

I would send you a private message in the moment. We didn't want this set up. We wanted an after school nanny for longer hours. However, because of lockdown restrictions, my kids after school activities have ceased. She also works for other employers which changed the dynamic. So we agreed to the morning and after school runs for now....

OP posts:
StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 10:17

How can having a job and employing someone to take your kids to school possibly be outing Grin

Anyway, I haven't yet said if I think you're U or not as it would depend on the terms of her contract. What did you put in the T&C when you were drawing it up? Would the contract need to be changed now that you've decided to start paying her? Or does she invoice you as SE and can simply add the expenses to that?

ClaudiaWankleman · 02/02/2021 10:18

But we actually pay her way more than this due to various of things which I wish not to state as its outing

It's not outing - there are thousand of nannies in the UK. Your situation isn't unique. Flashbacks to various husbands with cycling hobbies

Regardless, it doesn't matter whether you pay her for doing extra things, because that pay relates solely to those extra things!

Pay your nanny properly.

Snoringmutt · 02/02/2021 10:22

@intheshedyes

I think some of the posts have been pragmatic. Being called tight, no common sense, stupid, fool, is very offensive.

The people who I have spoken to do not pay for their nanny's travel fares, even when they take their children out to various of places.

I think I'd avoid taking advice from the people you have spoken to - it really is very unreasonable not to pay for Nanny's costs when they take dcs out for the day. I'm shocked - then again there are many employers who behave like this. But this nanny is looking after your kids - the most important people in your life - and you want to short change them? It's not a wise plan...to expect people to do their job solely out of good will.
redsquirrelfan · 02/02/2021 10:22

The people who I have spoken to do not pay for their nanny's travel fares, even when they take their children out to various of places

Well they should. An employee should not be expected to pay for their own travel expenses. Nannies are not freelance.

MacDuffsMuff · 02/02/2021 10:26

@intheshedyes

Not going to engage in this thread.

Thank you for the very few helpful replies.

The nanny asked me. I haven't replied to her yet. Hence I came to ask Mumsnet to ask.... very new to the whole nannying and a bit out of depth. I will pay her.

Good night all.

Not going to engage in this thread? That you started?

This cannot be real, surely? No one would think this is an acceptable way to treat someone.

And people wonder why they find it so hard to find good 'help'.

Snoringmutt · 02/02/2021 10:28

@intheshedyes

Lochroy You have no idea if I have a learning need which makes processing language much more difficult for me.

Clearly know now that IBU. Calling an OP idiotic, no common sense, tight, stupid is very offensive and I very doubt that the posters who use these terms will say this to someone's face. Recently on Mumsnet, I've seen a bullying culture, where the posters are rubbing their hands with glee and ganging up on the posters with vile things to say.

They are nicer ways to say that someone is not on without jumping into insults.

I agree with this OP - some people lack the ability to express themselves politely on Social Media - but you are fixating on these posters - you would be better off ignoring them - if they are spoiling for a reaction you are giving it to them - you mild admonishments will have no effect on how they conduct themselves. Move on and address your issues...in my view if someone is looking after my kids I'd err on the side of generosity...rather than trying to figure out how little I could get away with. Can you actually afford this nanny?
Snoringmutt · 02/02/2021 10:31

@intheshedyes

We pay her 10 hours a week at £14.00 he gross.

Yep. That what we pay her for. But we actually pay her way more than this due to various of things which I wish not to state as its outing.

That's cheap!
Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 10:33

Thank you Snoringmutt you are right. That's my New Years resolution.

Definitely. I know I was in the wrong. Posters on here mention seasonal tickets or monthly travel cards which would be cost effective in the long term. So I'm just going to do this.

OP posts:
Aha85 · 02/02/2021 10:33

I'm thoroughly confused but could she take the bike with her on the train when she takes the kids to school? That way she wouldn't need to return just to collect it.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 10:34

@Aha85 it’s not practical to be fully in control of small children/negotiating ticket barriers/train doors if you’re lugging a bike around at the same time.

Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 10:34

It's not a lot. I agree. Even though we pay her more than this. But we had to compromise as she has other work commitments. 10 hours anyway is the best for now. I would ideally like her to work more hours. But I was flexible given the lockdown restrictions

OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 02/02/2021 10:35

@jigobsessed

I know this is completely off point but would love to know how you managed to find someone to do morning pick up and afternoon drop off ONLY.

Is she a student? Where does one advertise? Did many people apply or did you find her by luck through personal recommendation?

If not appropriate to ask here , apologies will start own thread in childcare section......

We had a nanny who did this as she had her own small children that she roll along on the two school runs. She didn't want to work throughout the day. We had another older local lady who wanted the same. Extra money in her pocket for minimal hours out of the day.

It was exactly what they were looking for. Not every nanny or child minder who does a split shift like this is hard done by and needs to be paid more than the regular hourly rate just because they don't have more hours during the day. It takes longer to find someone who wants this though.

tensmum1964 · 02/02/2021 10:35

@intheshedyes

I think some of the posts have been pragmatic. Being called tight, no common sense, stupid, fool, is very offensive.

The people who I have spoken to do not pay for their nanny's travel fares, even when they take their children out to various of places.

The people you have spoken to are clearly exploitative employers. Why is this an excuse? I have spoken to people who commit all sorts of immoral and exploitative acts but I am intelligent enough to know that this is wrong.
LaceyBetty · 02/02/2021 10:40

That's cheap

£14 is not cheap. Certainly not for someone only doing school runs with older children and not other childminding duties like meals, entertaining, homework etc., which I assume is the case since it is only two hours total morning and afternoon. I do agree that OP should pay the travel costs on top though.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 02/02/2021 11:01

She takes on other work CeeCee. We are not her only employer.

completely irrelevant.

You don't justify a low salary or pay because "people have another job" Hmm

No wonder people look at families who employ nannies and au-pair in such a bad way! Funnily enough, paying a childminder is acceptable.

OllyBJolly · 02/02/2021 11:04

Funnily enough, paying a childminder is acceptable

My friends who childmind tell me differently - it's seen as an optional extra by a lot of families if they have had other expenses. "Had to get the car service, I'll pay twice next month" is not uncommon.

We don't value childcare.

C8H10N4O2 · 02/02/2021 11:08

Even though we pay her more than this. But we had to compromise as she has other work commitments

You mean presumably that she does additional hours for which you pay the same rate, not that you randomly give her extra money for nothing.

Yes of course a part timer may have other commitments. Your alternative option is to employ someone full time when you only want them a few hours a day.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 11:10

It definitely can be very hard to get childcare jobs valued. The amount of interviews I’ve had where the families want to pay me £10,000 ‘by the book’ and top up the rest in cash so they don’t have to pay national insurance, tax etc, leaving me with no employee protection whatsoever, is unreal. I once went to an interview with an actual Lord and Lady, they were dripping in wealth, yet the man was astounded when I refused to be paid in this way as apparently it worked out well for me too hmm] it happens all the time.

C8H10N4O2 · 02/02/2021 11:10

£14 is not cheap

For someone trained and experienced to take sole charge of your children?

Its depressing how little we value caring/childcare roles. Any handyman or gardener will charge substantially more than that for minor work at the lower end of the relevant skills range.

Funny how its always women's work which is valued so little.

Snoringmutt · 02/02/2021 11:14

£14 is the gross figure that includes employer contributions of NI and employer pension contributions as well doesn’t it? Most people don’t get quoted a salary that includes employer costs.

Takingontheflab · 02/02/2021 11:15

Never fails to amaze me how people treat their nannies then claim ignorance when pulled up.

Its not an employer thing, its about morals and treating people right! .
Reminds me of the thread recently where the nanny asked to leave 5m early in afternoon to save a long wait for the train and the OP genuinely asked if they should allow it!

🤷‍♀️ and then people wonder why nannies move on so quickly.

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