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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Nanny Travel costs

258 replies

intheshedyes · 01/02/2021 23:18

Hello all,

We hired a new part time nanny who does the morning and after school runs. Two of my children need a train to get to school so pay my nanny travel costs from going to take them to school in the morning and then when she is bringing them back home.

In the mornings, my nanny rides her bike and parks her bike near our closest station. She asked me that once she drops the children to school, can she use the top up travel card, to come back to the station and pick up her bike to drive home.

AIBU to say no. I don't want to pay too much travel as it is!

OP posts:
StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 13:19

This is all mighty confusing.
You have only had her for two days yet say you pay her her usual salary in the school holidays. There's a post about things taking longer for her because of the children's after school activities yet earlier in the thread you say their after school activities aren't running.
It might be an idea to go back over your own posts and check your story tallies. Because others will be doing.

StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 13:20

Is she possibly the cleaner who've you've asked to do you the favour of dropping the kids at school?

Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 13:26

You have only had her for two days yet say you pay her her usual salary in the school holidays. There's a post about things taking longer for her because of the children's after school activities yet earlier.

I said I will...

I will pay her the usual salary in the holidays
I will pay her the full rate
I will pay her more than the usual rate
When lockdown restrictions ease, I would want her to work for longer hours-

I will means I plan to do it!

OP posts:
StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 13:30

@intheshedyes

"..or that she wouldn't travel back and would simply hang around near the school all day..."

Of course not.

She does a few hours during the week and less on school holidays (we pay her full rate incase anyone asks). I wasn't too sure if a season ticket would be worth it. I will look into it.

No you didn't say "will".
StepOutOfLine · 02/02/2021 13:32

Your other posts were at 10.04 and 10.17 this morning.

I'm sure you can understand our confusion.

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2021 13:32

@intheshedyes

I think some of the posts have been pragmatic. Being called tight, no common sense, stupid, fool, is very offensive.

The people who I have spoken to do not pay for their nanny's travel fares, even when they take their children out to various of places.

Their nanny takes the children out and has to pay for herself?

That's appalling! Some people clearly have no idea of employers' responsibilities.

But why do you need a nanny to just take back and forth to school? There can't be much job satisfaction there for the nanny!

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2021 13:33

@intheshedyes

We pay her 10 hours a week at £14.00 he gross.

Yep. That what we pay her for. But we actually pay her way more than this due to various of things which I wish not to state as its outing.

Why do you pay her more then the salary /hourly rate you agreed

Obv expenses are added on

Like travel there and back- she is doing what you would do. Obv Ned to pay her travel both ways

And anything she needs to buy kids for work

Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 13:38

Nanny0gg
Everyone's situation is different. This is what works for my family.

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 14:06

Weird that it doesn’t add up yet you can’t/won’t clarify it.

You seem to have already claimed to be paying her plenty, for other hours, yet she’s only been working for you for two days.

ZoeTurtle · 02/02/2021 14:09

There's no point asking questions or pointing out inconsistencies. Anything difficult will be dodged as "outing" or OP will make up a lie to justify it.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 14:11

Well, word of advice OP, if you are going to post in the future in the nanny section, get your story straight. We won’t stand for it over there either.

Maryann1975 · 02/02/2021 14:30

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt Surely the most precious people are our children and by extension those taking care of our children. It makes no sense to me to treat them poorly or leave them out of pocket for helping you out

Parents like you are a childcarers dream. But all to often, we get thrown a CF who thinks we deserve to be paid late, finish work late (With no notice) or start early (because they just turn up and keep knocking on the door until we answer), treat us like rubbish And are often rude to us, or for them to quibble their bill when it’s quite clear in the contract, Often sit outside in their car until dead on collection time, despite knowing that their child knows they are there and is getting more and more upset because they aren’t getting out of the car, not want to pay for return travel or whatever. Working with the children is lovely, dealing with some parents is not!

But then you get some really lovely ones, who would never dream of taking the mick. Pay their bills on time or early, realise that if you are ill for a week around the time your invoice is due that you might be too ill to send it and pay you an estimate instead so you aren’t short, send flowers because they know you are having a bad week, buy You a bar of chocolate because they got held up in the shop and it’s made them a minute late and they are really upset to have put you out. Pick up early On odd occasions when they can. Good parents are NEVER unnoticed and very, very appreciated to a hardworking childcarer.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/02/2021 14:43

You need to get you story straight OP, you've replied to me on you other thread which I haven't posted on and hadn't read until now. Were you checking your own story?

I also suspect this is a cleaner or similar who is doing a bit extra by picking up the kids rather than a qualified nanny or perhaps just a figment of your imagination.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 02/02/2021 15:01

When the nanny collects her bike does she cycle back home then cycle back to yours to get the train to collect them? A second bike to keep at home (near the school) would work out cheaper. She could cycle to yours, you pay to the school then you pay for return train after school? If you can store her bike safely at yours between pick up?

HereIfYouNeedMe · 02/02/2021 15:11

@ExConstance

We recruited a live in nanny when DS1 was born, it was cruicial to me we had someone kind and very reliable as I worked long and irregular hours, and I did not want to put on DH, who worked full time and was studying too. The nanny stayed with us through DS 2 arriving, her getting married and having her first child. She became our part time and holiday child minder at that stage. She was still with us when DS1 was 11, I could not have hoped for a better nanny. I prided myself on being a really good employer, sometimes just paying a little bit extra or for nice things for her. She ironed the children's clothes and I'd sometimes iron her elaborate frilly summer dresses, nice birthday presents, nice family outings. All this was second nature to me, I just wanted to make life good for someone doing a really important job. All the little things cost a fraction of the main pay bill each month, but make life better for the nanny. I was really pleased when she got married from our house. Life's too short to worry about a few train fares.
Well this is just lovely 🥰 exactly how I would be if I ever needed a nanny I'd like to hope! Wonderful how close you've become over the years, you should be proud of that special relationship. You trusted this person with your most precious DC's, what job is more important! ❤️
HereIfYouNeedMe · 02/02/2021 15:13

@ExConstance also, are you still in touch?? So sweet ironing her elaborate frilly dresses 🤭 hehe

SunshineCake · 02/02/2021 15:47

@intheshedyes

I value her. But to point out to what another ..She does morning and after school Drop offs only. No meal prep, no bedtimes, no dinner, no cleaning kids mess, no anything. She is essentially a "mother's helper" than a nanny.
That's not what a mothers help is Hmm.
LaceyBetty · 02/02/2021 16:27

@SunshineCake what would you say it is? It's not a nanny either.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 16:28

A chaperone?

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2021 17:30

@intheshedyes

Nanny0gg Everyone's situation is different. This is what works for my family.
No, my point is, you need 'someone' to do the school run. That's fair. But does it have to be a trained nanny?

There must be someone out there, a DBS checked Mother's Help or somesuch who could do it.

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2021 17:31

@SmidgenofaPigeon

A chaperone?
Yes! That would be what is needed. DBS checked, good references. Job done.
Piglet89 · 02/02/2021 17:32

Haha OP deservedly having her arse handed to her by the experienced, professional childcarers who frequent these boards.

Fair play.

Original poster
intheshedyes · 02/02/2021 17:59

I keep on getting alerts that PP's are still replying on this thread... Hmm. (Don't they have nothing better to do...)

I have moved on from this thread. I'm one of those people that tends to move on very quickly! Life is short for ish.

Spoke to Nanny and everything is fineSmile.

Thank you for the pragmatic replies on this thread. Now, I'm going to go and enjoy reading my new book. Good evening all Smile

OP posts:
Bookwords · 02/02/2021 18:01

I keep on getting alerts that PP's are still replying on this thread... . (Don't they have nothing better to do...)

I have moved on from this thread. I'm one of those people that tends to move on very quickly! Life is short for ish

Says the person that last night wasn't engaging with this thread but has posted 27 times Grin

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/02/2021 18:01

A thread doesn’t just stop because you decree it 😂😂

What a funny sausage you are OP.

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