I don’t like this life.

[Maskedminger]

It’s been almost a year, everything changed, am still suffering from covid from March, am inside for 12 hours per day with my toddler. My ‘Old’ life seems a far away, distant memory, the only highlight is going to do the food shopping, feel there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m starting to feel just nothing inside, anyone else?

I am with you. Totally sick of this weird half life where everything is in up in the air and you can’t make any plans. I don’t want to hear stay inside to protect this or that. Thanks God I still get to go to work. When a delivery of new tea towels is the highlight of your week you know it’s bad 😆

I took my DS to our local park play area the other day which remains open despite being shut during the first lockdown. He had fun on his own bless him while I just stood there staring at him with a glazed look, trying to stop myself from crying for no apparent reason.

I'm totally with you all the way @Maskedminger

Exactly the same with DS3 and a baby who has so far only ever known this life and not experienced a thing in the real world.

I'm feeling really low today. However I know things will get better. We are through the worst of it now. Hang on in there

@JimmyTheBrave

I took my DS to our local park play area the other day which remains open despite being shut during the first lockdown. He had fun on his own bless him while I just stood there staring at him with a glazed look, trying to stop myself from crying for no apparent reason.

@JimmyTheBrave I feel this so much

@JimmyTheBrave I have that too, I was just looking at Dd playing on the carpet today and trying not to cry 🤷🏻‍♀️I felt so emotional for her future, even though I’m not even sure what that could be.

@goodjoujou That’s it, it’s just a half life..if that. It’s just about survival, which life obviously is, but it used to be about pleasure and enjoyment.

Nothing to add really, but I'm getting some comfort from finding so many people who feel the same as I do.
How will we look back on this shit time. 😕

@TJ17 Sorry you’re feeling so low, I was ok mainly, but the last few days, it’s really just hit, not sure why.

I think the pandemic has shown me what is important. I don’t miss shopping, cinema, theatre, eating out etc but I really miss having a coffee and a hug with my best friend. She’s been doing my shopping whilst I’ve had Covid and it’s so hard to just wave from the doorstep. I worry about my son’s mental health after seeing his dad blue lighted to hospital and not being able to visit. (He’s home now)
It’s so hard - all we can do is keep going and recognise that it’s hard for everyone.

Yes it’s total crap at the moment and people at all stages of life are feeling low due to the situation we are in. However winter is always horrible and pretty depressing and once the weather improves things will get better. Life will begin to improve and places will gradually open up over the coming months. Come on gals and guys. We can do this .... remember when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Yup. I was working, I was confident, I was strong mentally, I saw friends and planned trips home to see family. I actually booked my flights home exactly a year ago. I was so excited. I had things to be excited about. Now I have a toddler and a 3 month old, I see nobody, I get nervous going to aldi, I dont walk my dog further than the local field, I havent been home in 18 months. I had a freaker last weekend. I cried so hard I struggled to breathe. I have a call from the GP tomorrow to talk about PND. My life seems so .... meh. And it seems like it will always be meh, like they will never allow us to be human again (and FYI, being able to shop on the high street doesnt make us human).

Its awful.

@17358anotherplanet That’s it, we don’t have those pleasures to look forward to or to get to see the people we love.

Feel like my life as I knew it came to an end last March 16th when the wfh order came. Struggling to get out of bed, wouldn’t bother if it wasn’t for the DC. Last few days have been tough as a child at my DCs school took their own life. I didn’t know the child or family but brought it home to me how children are suffering and what those poor parents must be feeling. I’m over emotional at everything right now and had enough of this life. I want my old one back

Sometimes I feel angry about it rather than sad. Sometimes just sad. Sometimes ok and hopeful. It’s really hard.

One day last week, I went into the bathroom and just screamed. The neighbours asked if I was ok a few days later

@CovidRage how do you socialise or where do you using your headset and which headset is it? That is completely my kind of thing.

We have the PS4 and love beatsaber!!

Everyone’s fed up, but hopefully spring and warmer weather is on it’s way then we can all get back to being outdoors more. Sunshine cheers everyone up even if life isn’t quite the same. No doubt your toddler is demanding but hopefully you’ve a park nearby and will be able to get to know other mums with toddlers when you visit and make new friends.

I go through stages of being angry, upset, frustrated, scared, numb...

I have no job to go to, the gyms are shut, schools are "shut" can't see my friends inside (I see one inside but haven't for weeks) my husband has moved out because we are having problems so I'm with the kids almost 24/7 and because he doesnt want to see me I have to go for a cold walk or sit in the car somewhere.

I've given up on homeschooling, zoom is a no go, he cries and shuts down at the prospect and no amount of physical restraint or threats will get him to do it and I don't want to push too hard because it's a difficult time. School work is much the same so I do what I can informally whilst we are out and about. He reads signs for fun so I know his reading is good, not so sure about his maths, I think he knows a lot of it but won't let on. I'm talking to his teacher tomorrow to tell her if he says no anymore then that's it, I'll continue to ask and try to get him to do it but I won't be fighting with him anymore. It's not fair on either of us, I'm having trouble coping and I don't want to take my mood out on him.

The 3 year old still attends nursery thank god or I really would lose the plot. He's at a difficult stroppy age and together with his brother all hell breaks loose.

I'm seeing my mum tomorrow, she's coming to stay for a few days. Not strictly allowed since she cares for my elderly aunt but I think all of us would prepare to take the risk than have me fall deeper into this hole that I'm in.

I'm trying to be optimistic but it's hard, realistically I think this can't go on for much longer but there is the paranoid conspiracy theory part of me that thinks this is all part of a big plan and this is life now.

Yeah I feel numb. I've just had a week of leave from my wfh job which I detest. I loved the leave.
I'd quite happily never do the job again... But I need money.
My teen is an only, online learning. I'm sick of extending the lives of octogenarians at the cost of suffocating teenagers/all children's lives And education. And no, they cannot all catch up. 🙄
I've learned basic knitting this week, which is good but I'm bored.
I've got bugger all to talk about. My DD mainly talks about roblox and I'm dying inside. She's trans identifying which I'm devastated/disappointed about but cannot show her that. Sick of putting others needs before mine. When will I get a place in the sun and some fucking inner peace. Selfish yes but I'm almost past caring.

It will be more tolerable in the summer 🤞

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

Yeah. I'm past the climbing the walls stage and am fully at "dead inside". If I didn't have a child I'd just stay in bed and work from there all day. If I didn't have a job either I'd just stay in bed all day.

It's not even the worst I've ever felt, but it's the most numb.

Yes you’ve hit the nail on the head with “dead inside”.

I’m increasingly turning to music to lift my feelings. For some reason Power by Little Mix is really getting me through the days at the moment 😂. If I put on music like that I can’t help but have a little dance and once I’ve had a little dance I can’t help but feel my spirits lift. Also the song Jai Ho is on repeat!

Same OP. I have doubled my 150mg twice daily dose of Venlafaxine to 300mg twice a day. No chance of a Drs appointment here so am hoping it works ok with all the other stuff I'm on and gets me through this. Hugs OP (socially fucking distanced of course and much ). We will get through it, the vaccinations are well under way so we'll come staggering out bleary eyed from the ruins in the not to distant future.

Ohh this is exactly how I feel. I’ve felt guilty about feeling so shit when people are dying and in hospital I’ll but it’s just how it’s been described by pp, numb is how I feel daily. My 5 year old needs constant attention which is fine but it’s so boring.
My 16 yr old dd is who I’m worried about. She’s quiet and introverted as it is but she barely leaves her bedroom anymore. I try to get her out for a walk every day but she barely speaks then.
I want something to look forward to soon.
I wish covid would fuck the fuck off.

I hate this life. It’s unbearable. I am lucky enough to live out in the country but seeing people shuffle past my house every day with soulless expressions on their state sponsored exercise has put me off walking and the countryside I used to love forever. I got made redundant during lockdown 1, was able to find a new job but I’ve never met any of my lovely new colleagues. They’re floating heads on a screen. Do they actually have bodies? Who knows.
Both my mum and teenage daughter have severe MH issues but all the pills and talking therapy in the world isn’t going to solve this one. I’m supposed to be getting married this year but the uncertainty has sucked any joy out of planning as it will all probably be cancelled anyway. I’m done.

This thread has made me feel really sad. Things will get better. Please hang on in there mums. You are all doing your best and that is all anyone can do.