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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

COVID Wedding

56 replies

Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 11:19

Hello, looking for some advice here or from anyone else in the same position.

OH and I were supposed to get married in May 2020, we rescheduled to beginning of May 2021, but we don’t have much faith.

We had a fairly large wedding planned (120) and although I know this number is probably not realistic even in 2021 and that’s okay. We would be happy to go ahead with less, but not if the numbers are like now (5). Also as I understand you aren’t allowed a reception/meal and even alcohol might be off the cards. If the rules were not to change between now and May we would not be happy to go ahead with the wedding.

So the question is would you reschedule ( YANBU) and if so when too ?

Or would you keep to the current date, and if so why ? (YABU)

OP posts:
2pinkginsplease · 01/02/2021 11:22

For us being married would be more important than a wedding. I suppose it depends on what’s more important to you.

We had a little wedding with 40, would have loved to have had a really intimate day with less.

You could always have a big party for your 1st wedding anniversary.

Original poster
Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 11:27

@2pinkginsplease

I knew I would get a comment or two like this. I want to say that of course being married is the most important, but that’s not the choice we have. It’s not get married or don’t get married. I’m asking whether people think we will have a less restrictive wedding later on in the year.

Since we are both only children our parents collectively expressed that they wanted to be there and wanted us to have some kind of celebration.

We both agreed that we are not interested in having a party the year after. For us when the moment is gone, it’s gone.

OP posts:
CakeRequired · 01/02/2021 11:27

If you're wanting a big wedding, or at least more than 20 guests, reschedule to next year. Probably later next year though, as I don't think by May next year it will be anyway different to be honest. I think tiers will still be in play by then, and you'd need the lowest tier for up to 50 guests depending on where you are. Do you think your area will manage that? Other tiers were 20 max and the highest is 5 max with no reception. Least that's what it is in scotland.

Original poster
Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 11:29

@CakeRequired

I’m in one of the devolved nations, so I’m not sure how this will apply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 11:30

We were thinking more along the lines of the latter part of 2021. We won’t postpone any later than that.

OP posts:
Amijustagrump · 01/02/2021 11:31

We are similar, postponed from August 2020 to 2nd may 2021. We are going ahead regardless, I'm bored of planning a wedding and we just want to move on with our lives! 15 guests is okay, 30 would be great!

borageforager · 01/02/2021 11:32

I don’t think you’ll be able to have a big wedding any time in 2021. You might get back up to 30 I suppose.

Original poster
Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 11:36

@Amijustagrump

We would be happy with these kind of numbers, but we want the bubbles to be flowing and we want to have a great meal after!

We just don’t want to be sitting 2 metres apart with face masks on with no prospect of a proper reception after. It’s just a miserable thought for us.

Equally, rescheduling is so draining.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 01/02/2021 11:40

Keep current date have tiny wedding all the official stuff, then plan a party much later on maybe a year after?

supersonicginandtonic · 01/02/2021 11:47

I'd rearrange for next year so you can have the wedding you want.
To say you won't be able to have a wedding next year and we'll still be in a tier system is quite frankly ridiculous and doom mongering. The majority of the adult population will have been vaccinated and the government will want the Economy open by then.

mootymoo · 01/02/2021 11:47

Depends on your situation. For me I would be happy with just immediate family and a handful of very close friends, including us it still would still be 30 though, could do less without picking siblings/no partners etc. I'm fine with just a sit down meal by household, but if this wasn't allowed I would wait. I also want the ceremony in church, this wouldn't bother some people. As it is my divorce is delayed due to covid and I'm in no hurry to remarry, in the 21st century we don't need to be married (we are independent financially anyway)

TheDogsMother · 01/02/2021 11:52

I think if the govt are talking about starting to ease restrictions some time in March then by May I think you would be able to go ahead. When we got married in October we were able to have 15 people excluding registrar and photographer. We had the ceremony in one room at the venue during which all guests wore masks but not us or registrars. Then on to a private dining room at the same venue where guests were split over three tables but we had a fabulous meal and plenty of fizz. Once everyone was seated it was masks off obviously. Not exactly the wedding we'd planned for May 2020 but everyone had a lovely time. They all thanked us for giving them an excuse to dress up and go somewhere Grin.

Mytinyman · 01/02/2021 11:57

I had to postpone from October to may and we have decided to postpone again, we haven't picked a new date yet because i couldnt handle postponing for a third time, i hope you get your wedding soon

Amijustagrump · 01/02/2021 12:32

@Covidwedding123 I have to be honest I really dont care about all that anymore! If we have to come home and eat a takeaway then that will be good enough, so long as we are husband and wife!

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 01/02/2021 12:36

I’d get on and do it so long as I could have closest family there.

You’ll probably have less restrictions later in the year, but that’s not guaranteed.

emilyfrost · 01/02/2021 12:39

I agree with you - a reception at a later date isn’t the same. The moment has indeed gone.

For me, I wouldn’t have wanted such a small wedding. I wouldn’t have been happy with that at all as I’d want to share it with all my family and friends.

I personally would reschedule to May next year but it depends if time is on your side.

Lyricallie · 01/02/2021 12:44

So I'm in Scotland and in a similar boat. Was originally having 110 with a ceilidh in May 2020. I then changed to October and now I'm end of July 21.

I'm holding out until Easter, I'm praying I can get 50 people, that's what we were allowed last summer and this time we have a vaccine.

I think either way we're getting married in July, I can't go through rescheduling for the 4th time. If everything for your wedding is already organised I would maybe wait a wee bit longer to see what the situation is looking like.

peak2021 · 01/02/2021 13:09

I would not expect by May all restrictions to have been lifted. If it is a very small number such as under 15 probably easier to choose who goes there and those not invited to understand, than say if 30. I assume some of your guests for a larger wedding would be travelling and hotels may be shut or restricted.

Being in one of the devolved nations probably makes not much difference on weddings and events.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 01/02/2021 13:24

It would do my head in to wait so long to get married frankly.

I would go ahead with a vey small wedding - due to current circumstances - and hope for the best

and would instead plan a huge party and organise it when it's possible.

For the record, we had more than 150 guests at our wedding, I spend a few £1000 on my dress (and a few hundred just on the shoes!), and I don't regret a penny. I love big weddings! It took a year to plan (well, booking venue and choosing dress a year in advance, then planning everything else 3-4 months before the date)

DownWhichOfLate · 01/02/2021 13:27

Can you move it to the summer at an outdoor venue as both those things will make it more likely to be possible.

peboh · 01/02/2021 13:32

For me personally, I'd just go through with it this time. I couldn't be bothered with constantly postponing and hoping that the next date would be the one.
Get married, have a lovely intimate day then throw a big reception to celebrate with everyone you want when restrictions allow. Most guests aren't bothered about the wedding ceremony anyway.

Original poster
Covidwedding123 · 01/02/2021 14:12

@DownWhichOfLate

Where I live the weather is notoriously bad! So I don’t think outdoor is really an option.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 01/02/2021 14:17

I would get married in a registry office about have a "proper" wedding later.this is what most friends are doing.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 01/02/2021 14:19

Ps no I dont think large weddings will happen at all this year. Even if everyone is vaccinated the government will take a while to gradually reopen sectors and I suspect weddings will be one of the last

FlorenceinSummer · 01/02/2021 14:25

I don't think much will change this year, I am probably overtly negative but I don't believe much can change long term either (ie the next year) the vaccine is only said to last 9 months max so we are in this cycle of in out for a while until we get this thing under control properly like other countries (Australia/ New Zealand etc) and our government doesn't seem to have the appetite to do that, therefore holding off for the bigger event may mean holding off for a long time :(

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