To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

It’s the - at best - socially inept person making other people (in this case, a young mum) feel panicked and like she’s failing ... but for most generous-minded people, really isn’t actually OK

I’m not sure it’s as simple as that.

As others have pointed out, a quick google will have given the other mum all the info she needed to reassure her.

I appreciate first time parents can be anxious, but it isn’t up to others to manage our feelings for us.

I appreciate first time parents can be anxious, but it isn’t up to others to manage our feelings for us.

And again -

Which you can defend all you want - but for most generous-minded people, really isn’t actually OK.

What isn’t okay though?

Making a (probably factual) statement about her child?

My dd is 10 next week and she was like this as a baby. She came out talking although I never once counted the words, that’s just odd.
She was able to have a “conversation” from around 14/15 months and has always been extremely bright.

She didn’t master potty training though until she was almost 3.

In comparison, ds (17) was potty trained by 2 but hardly said a word. It all evens out in the end!

My brother is 18 months younger than me. According to my mum he never spoke until I started school when I was 4 because I used to speak for him

Think my eldest had that sort vocabulary range at 13 months, having started with cat at 9 months. Early on I wrote the words down in his baby book but not deliberately counted. The word Shit made a relatively early appearance after I was cut up at a roundabout . But to make up for it, he didn’t walk til 14months + , they’re all so different, nothing surprises me about babies any more they’re a canny lot

My eldest could say over 150 words by 1 years old, we know because we wrote down a list on the fridge of the words she could say clearly. Her vocabulary was amazing and by 1.5 could string sentences of 4 to 5 words together. She was very tall and people would mistake her for a 2 year old but still be impressed by her vocabulary. We didn’t realise she was any different until she went to nursery at 3.5. Now she’s 7 and seems no different to her peers apart from the huge interest in reading.

@TheKeatingFive

What isn’t okay though?

Making a (probably factual) statement about her child?

‘Oh, your child only has 8 words?’

You’d say that to an anxious Mum, would you?

TBH when all these toddlers are teenagers will any of you have remembered or even care? Just enjoy whilst they are too young to remember the problems of 2020/21 ie plague 💐

I mean - this is hardly going to go on a CV..... could speak 1628369294 words by 18 months. 😂 they all really even out in the end.

OP tell your anxious friend that my DS probably had less than 8 words when he was 2. By the age of 3 you couldn’t shut him up.

Oh and apologies if someone already said this I haven’t rtft but apparently Einstein didn’t talk until he was 3 and when someone asked him why he said “I didn’t have anything to say”

Boasty mum is a silly cow and should think about the impact her bragging can have on others. Anxious mum should ignore her.

mean - this is hardly going to go on a CV..... could speak 1628369294 words by 18 months.they all really even out in the end.

They really do n't

It is possible. Ds2 said probably about that amount of words at 13 months and was talking in full sentences at 15 months. It completely surprised me as ds1 barely said a handful of (very unclear) words by the time he was 2. I am aware this is very early though and certainly wouldn’t have been bragging about it on a WhatsApp group. FWIW my boys are 2 and 3.5 now and you’d never know which one was talking early and which one was talking late.

‘Oh, your child only has 8 words?’

You’d say that to an anxious Mum, would you?

I don’t see that she is reported to have said that in the OP.

If mentioned later, I’m always a bit skeptic of drip feeds myself, but each to their own.

Personally, I have just read all of your posts and I think you are acting ike a bit of a bitch actually. You're making this woman out like some sort of nasty dick, creating thread a about her that you have said you are going to be sharing with other members of the 'friendship' group. Would you like someone doing that to you? Creating a thread and getting a load of anonymous people to talk shit about you and then have that shared amongst your friendship group?

It's completely natural that a mum would boast about their children's achievements. It's not a dirty thing to do imo. I have zero understanding of childhood development. Everytime DS does something I assume it is within the normal time frame. I have a lockdown baby too so again, have no reference point.

Thank you again for all the comments. Its been very interesting to see just how common this appears to be. I appreciate mumsnet is a huge site but honestly didn't except to hear of so many children who were so chatty so young.

If mentioned later, I’m always a bit skeptic of drip feeds myself, but each to their own.

Appologies explaining the comment she made in return wasn't intended as a drip feed I was clarifying it was that comment that led to the other parent assuming there was something wrong with her child. I'm sure all first time parents have been guilty of over reacting in panic for something which on retrospect could simply be solved with a quick online search.

Oh he will sleep all right, he'll sleep for England....Europe....the world

Excellent to hear when exactly can I start to look forward to this?

Tell your friend who's panicking that my 19 month basically just yells at me with different sounds 😂 He's number 3 so I think we're less concerned, but as long as they're developing well it's all fine. Just enjoy it while they're not incessantly asking questions.

@Stinkywizzleteets

After my experience with my eldest I’d say yes it’s possible and she did. She spoke fluently in Sentences by about 10/11 months but my son took quite a bit longer and even at three I struggle to make out what he says sometimes. Every kid is different.

As others have pointed out, a quick google will have given the other mum all the info she needed to reassure her.

A quick google could also have informed boastful mum that her child was an outlier and to tone it down a bit! Why would anxious mum do a quick google if she was in no way suspicious of boastful mum’s claim. She is young and inexperienced and not meeting other mums because of lockdown, so wouldn’t have just assumed her DD was the more average one.

Thank you again for all the comments. Its been very interesting to see just how common this appears to be. I appreciate mumsnet is a huge site but honestly didn't except to hear of so many children who were so chatty so young.

No I wouldn’t have either, never having met a baby like that in real life - whether friends, family, baby groups, toddler groups - but appreciate that Mumsnet is a huge community so the babies I’ve met are a tiny sample by comparison.

Mine had around that but then he didn’t crawl until 18months and walk until 22months. I was told they are either talkers or walkers

It is possible but what an idiot she's been to sit and count the words and then boast about it. Take it all with a pinch of salt and carry on reading and communicating with your child in every way you can. She's the sort of parent who'll know what reading book every child in the class is on.
Going back to my daughters toddler stage she attended toddler group/nursery with a lot of bilingual children and their word hoard may have been greater than hers.

A quick google could also have informed boastful mum that her child was an outlier and to tone it down a bit!

I don’t understand why people can’t make a factual statement about their child without supplying contextual information for everyone.

Most first time parents don’t know much about child development and what’s to be expected.

If they have concerns, there’s plenty of info out there.

@FuzzyPenguin

Mine had around that but then he didn’t crawl until 18months and walk until 22months. I was told they are either talkers or walkers

Yes my daughter talked very early and didn’t walk till 18 months. However I suspect that was in part pure laziness as we gave her a baby Walker and she went everywhere with it. When we took it off her she walked within a couple of days. 😂

Counting is weird I’ve not met anyone who did that, but there is a chance she thought this was quite normal for kids, because anecdotally it is. Many kids speak early and lots of words.

Op I would wonder if there is an element of you unhappily comparing to your own child and that’s why you’re reacting like this, it’s not pure altruism. If so none of you should really be getting into competing, and if you’re unable to discuss milestones as a group with out those whose child lags behind in a normal way being pissed then the group probably can’t survive.

My oldest chartered away at a young age and used sentences at 18 months. My second walked at 9 months but hardly said a word before two. My 3rd is another chatterbox and very bossy. She's 18 months.

A quick google could also have informed boastful mum that her child was an outlier and to tone it down a bit!

That's hilarious, a happy mums chatting about her child has no reason whatsoever to google it before chatting about it, surely people don't do this, google everything first in case it upsets the easily offended.

Why would anxious mum do a quick google if she was in no way suspicious of boastful mum’s claim. She is young and inexperienced and not meeting other mums because of lockdown, so wouldn’t have just assumed her DD was the more average one.

If she wasn't anxious before, she needs to learn comparisons are not healthy, it is not healthy for her to draw a comparison against her child with everyone else, it unhealthy for her and her child.

A parent can express joy in her child's actions without it meaning anything at all to her. She's as well learn that early on or she will spend her time being upset at every little comment she's comparing her daughter to.