To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

You and that young mum need to start your own boasts. I would. I'd be claiming my baby can identify constellations and cook coq au vin with no help except a steppy stool.

Ah with your PFB every little achievement is special, she may have been genuinely trying to celebrate her baby’s ability. She shouldn’t have commented on the other child though.

I would agree with you that we all enjoy seeing the progress our children make but every baby in the group is a PFB and yet none of the other parents have made comments like hers, so I don't think it's a PFB thing.

I'd be claiming my baby can identify constellations and cook coq au vin with no help except a steppy stool.

Completely off topic but I'd love it if DS could cook coq au van properly it's a dish both me and DH fail miserably at.

My 15 month old has zero words - am I worried - no, not at all. Saw our health visitor for our 14 month check up last month and as my child constantly babbled not shutting up she had no concerns either.

My DC3 had 100 ish words at 13 months (DC3 so not counting exactly ) I remember the nurse who did her 1 year vaccinations was

I think it is unusual but not impossible. She still loves to talk...

Yeah. I had one a bit of an outlier with all language skills she started talking quite early so she was reasonably clear. Most of her words at thst age were food, toys and clothes items and a good few verbs - demanding and very hard work from a toddler. I'm sure she would have had a lot, certainly enough with names as well. But to count them I'd assume the parent was stretching the truth (Who counts that many you'd have to keep a list?) Unless the child is parroting back - which I don't consider as using the words.
My youngest had barely managed to speak any words unprompted by that age.

Oh and yes. My loquacious eldest has NEVER stopped talking either. it's not really a blessing

It can happen. My DD had about that many words at a similar age. She’s now a bright/average 8 year old. Not a genius just very motivated to talk as baby!

I wouldn’t have believed this with my first two as babies but dc3 could do this. She could also read basic words at 2. By age 10 all dc were the same academically.

If that was truly the case then she wouldn't have used it as an opportunity to be so rude about one of the other children

What has she said that was rude?

What has she said that was rude?

As I said in my earlier posts when the other parent commented that her child could only say about 8 words she replied 'only 8...'

In my opinion that's not quite the supportive response someone would give if the comment had just been a general comment on how well her child was doing. Surely a kinder reply would have been something like "Don't panic X only had a few for ages and suddenly she's picked up lots more I'm sure Y will be out chatting her in no time?"

Well my DD2 is 16 months old and all we get is Mummum, Dadad and ootball! She must be well slow!! 🙈

My friends little girl (same age) can recite the Rogets Thesaurus.... Well, you'd think she could the way she goes on!! 🙄

It is a wired thing to post! The thing is babies vary so much it is possible. I do think though as parents you understand a lot more of their words than someone else would. But you don't really realise until you physically see someone not understand the baby's words. I'd just let the other mum know 'normal' varies a lot. For example one of mine walked at 9 months and the other at 15 months.

Lololololololol

I have an 11 month old and she says 'ssssttthhhhhhhsssshhhshh' and 'bababababababababababa'.

Reading her reply she sounds like a bellend.

My dd could say an awful lot of words (nevr counted as precisely as 106) by 13 months. She could also say short phrases. Interestingly enough she has just had her asd diagnosis. She has a twin sister who does not have an asd diagnosis and no way was she saying 106 words (maybe 20). My garrulous (still) dd was fascinated by speaking, deciphering speech and meaning of words (like a special interest) but she made little sense when she was 2 or so (as compared to her twin sister). She could label stuffand mand (ask for what she needed early) but use that as a form of communication back and forth was harder.

In my opinion that's not quite the supportive response someone would give if the comment had just been a general comment on how well her child was doing. Surely a kinder reply would have been something like "Don't panic X only had a few for ages and suddenly she's picked up lots more I'm sure Y will be out chatting her in no time?"

Fair enough. Although your op only refers to you thinking that it's utter bollocks that her child does have that many words and seeking clarification that it's bollocks. Which obviously it isn't, as my child was similar and other posters have confirmed their children were similar.

So it's two separate things isn't it. Yes of course she should be able to say that to her friends without them saying she's a boastful liar. But no, if she did say 'only 8' which I didn't see, then no that's not a great thing to say. Clearly that's normal too. My second child had no words. Until age 3. Which isn't entirely normal tbf. You'll probably end up cutting loose from each other anyway. These baby groups are so full of angst and rubbish, often with people you wouldn't normally hook up with, and they don't generally last the distance as a whole anyway, which no doubt you will notice when life starts to return to normal.

My ds said his first three word sentence at three. Very few words before, just noises.
He’s doing medecine now. Don’t waste time on this ( like I did).

don't worry, a child in our nursery is apparently reading Stephen King novels. More advanced than I am!

I have now RTFT. I agree Op I would also naturally respond like you are. In any normal context boasting is uncalled for, its then especially uncalled for to not support another parent who is worried their child is not attaining the same as yours. However, I would say different people have different awarenesses of others anxieties etc. As I said above one of my dds (one out of 3) had a similar amount of words, could say phrases and had amazing puzzle skills at that age. Her twin sister (who is more than averagely bright) didn't. Early developer (13) has asd (obvious from about 6 but took a while to diagnose). If she does have asd then it tends to run in families meaning mum (who you don't know wellmight also be neurodivergent). My DD is lovely, kind, sweet, never intentionally nasty but would probably approach current situation in same way as the boastful mum and would probably reply similar as she would just think in facts - my dd can, 8 words doesn't seem a lot to me. My dd is currently obsessive with baking the perfect cake. She bakes very well. She often tells you what she has baked is very good (often and she doesn't hold back if it works, she is nothing but truthful), she also tells you if it hasn't worked. She is very honestand negative if it is less than perfect. When doing that she isn't looking for someone to shower her with praise to lift her from her feelings, she is just being honest. I have learned to refrain from saying the cake wasn't bad or quite good if she isn't happy with it. Equally is someone said they were not happy with something they have cooked she would honestly appraise it. Not overly critical but factual where it did not fit her expectations. This may have been the same as this mum friend. She was just being honest that she thought that was a low amount of words given what she saw as the norm. I can understand why you thought she was being unkind but could I ask you to give her another chance, I very much doubt she meant to be so unfeeling, it just happens some time. From your perspective the main thing is to focus on the young mum who felt low (with no reason) but stay open to remaining friends with mum unless she othersie shows you she is just awfully callius and unkind. I do feel for mums having babies right now as you have no idea what the others are doing or the chance to chat it through face to face but this will pass.

don't worry, a child in our nursery is apparently reading Stephen King novels. More advanced than I am!

Don't feel too dispondent it depends which book some of them are dire.

could I ask you to give her another chance, I very much doubt she meant to be so unfeeling

I'll try to give her another chance as the group was lovely. I do hope she's feeling remorseful for her unkind comment however as yet she's not appologised or responded to the messages where we had tried to reassure the other parent. It's honestly not painted her in a nice light and it's got me wondering if she's only a part of the group so she can compare her childs achievements against ours.

I also think this is much more common than people seem to think, my daughter could talk early like this, so I thought it normal and to the extent I was actually wondering why Someone currently in the public eyes child didn’t seem to be talking yet. So this thread surprised me. Some babies talk, or can say words as early as seven months.

The two year check is not aspirational, it is what they need to be achieving or there would be concern, it doesn’t mean many children don’t naturally do a lot more earlier

An example would be the average age to walk is eighteen months. I properly walked at nine months.

However everyone catches up unless there are additional needs at play, just kids develop differently at different times, there is nothing to be concerned about.

The woman who texted it is obviously proud, and that’s fine, she likely didn’t think it would worrry anyone else. However I do find counting that many words odd. Maybe text her and say it’s worried other mums and you jist wanted to let her know. It’s possible she likely didn’t think it odd.

@Bluntness100 since when is the average age to walk 18 months? If your child doesn't walk by 18 months the HV will certainly refer you. I would say most people's children walk around age 1 a Dan average, give or take a month or two either side.

[quote gratitutesmynewattitude]@Bluntness100 since when is the average age to walk 18 months? If your child doesn't walk by 18 months the HV will certainly refer you. I would say most people's children walk around age 1 a Dan average, give or take a month or two either side. [/quote]
Sigh, ok a year, it was more a point I was making,

My dd (now 15) was an extremely precocious talker. I counted her words for quite a long time because she was being brought up in a multilingual home and I wanted to know how balanced/unbalanced her language was. She had significantly more than 106 words in English at that age, and she started joining words together to make short sentences at around 14 months. She was speaking in 10-12 word sentences by 18 months.

Her speech was definitely intelligible to others, as we would frequently get into conversations with random strangers and they could clearly chat to her quite easily. She did struggle to pronounce the letter R properly until she was around 4 though.

For me, it seemed perfectly normal that she spoke so early, as I knew very little about early speech development and had nothing to compare it to, but I soon realised it was very rare because of the reaction that she got wherever she went - people seemed a bit fascinated by how confident and chatty she was. Friends with similar age children would often be a bit freaked out by her speech, but I always played it down as I didn't want a big fuss made of it. Your "friend" is a twat for boasting about it.

DD's physical development was very average fwiw. She was quite slow to sit up unsupported and behind a few of her peers in walking. Now they are all teenagers, they are all quite able to both walk and talk effectively now. Honestly, don't get too hung up on comparisons, all children are different. Equally, don't assume that people are lying when they talk about their kids doing stuff on their own schedule - there will always be outliers.

I really think at this point in the thread, that we’ve well established the fact that 106 words at 13 months is perfectly within the realms of normal.

OK, great.

It’s not really the issue though, is it?

It’s the - at best - socially inept person making other people (in this case, a young mum) feel panicked and like she’s failing.

Which you can defend all you want - but for most generous-minded people, really isn’t actually OK.

TinyChatterbox: ......I look forward to it gringrin. As long as the teen yob version of DS actually sleeps I think I'll welcome him with open arms. 🤣
.......
Oh he will sleep all right, he'll sleep for England....Europe....the world!