To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

@dottiedaisee

I mentioned this thread to my daughter today who has a 14 month old and she laughed and said’why would anyone count ‘ ? Just enjoy your baby and stop comparing !

Well if your daughter says so then obviously we must all comply! 🙄

Just enjoy your baby and stop comparing !

Well if your daughter says so then obviously we must all comply!

It is excellent advice, though.

@Lweji

Just enjoy your baby and stop comparing !

Well if your daughter says so then obviously we must all comply!

It is excellent advice, though.

I counted because I was interested and because he was my first. Didn't give a shiny shit what anyone else's kid was doing but he seems to talk a lot so I spent as one time one day making a note of it m. You know. Fir my own interest!!

@CandyLeBonBon
if you didn't compare, just count, how is that quote relevant to you?

@Lweji I think @CandyLeBonBon took great exception to my comment which was not intended to offend !

Just not keen on patronising comments really.

I worked in childcare for 16 years and during that time I ran a baby room and then managed a whole nursery from birth to five. I can assure you I’ve not met a 13 month old that can say over a hundred words! We would mostly be looking for a child to say 50 key words by the ages of 2.

Ds1 is 24 now. I've got 4 dcs altogether. I swear my first child was a strange baby. He was speaking in full sentences by the age of 14 months, well enough for a stranger to understand him well. He could easily have had a vocabulary of 106 words although I didn't count. He went on to be a an intelligent but not gifted child. Others caught him up by nursery. I will say though he is actually a financial advisor and could probably sell sand to the Arabs as he definitely has the gift of the gab.

I’ve just been checking back old videos. By 18 months my younger daughter was having proper conversations. An example being. Me want that one (pointing) the blue cup. (I ask what she wanted to drink) Me want a drink of milk. You get it for me mummy? (I said yep sure do you want something to eat too) Me’s not hungry right now” At that age she also knew several of her books off by heart and would continue if you stopped. I really don’t remember exactly when she started saying her first words beyond that it had to be before she turned one

All kids are different. My daughter didn’t walk till she was 15 months - some of her peers were walking at 8 months - but she was an early talker. At her two year health check she was off the scale for vocabulary- the options went up to 50 words, and she was playing with the book start books and turned to me and said “look mummy a bag of books”. I think the issue here is partly the bragging and partly the other mum feeling like there’s a problem. Someone told me (probably a wise health visitor!) that each part of the brain develops separately, one at a time. My super articulate toddler is now a normally bright 13 yo, smart but certainly no child genius. She also didn’t read fluently till quite late (maybe 8?) compared with classmates. A friends daughter could only say “ma” and “ball” at 2 and is in top sets at high school. It’s meaningless

Also though I’m not sure my daughter knew quite that many words at 13 months I do know her speaking was commented on as relatively unusual pretty frequently. It’s not impossible but to think it’s typical is a bit weird. When she was little I alternated between being very proud of her and wishing she’d stop seeming so grown up so fast. Nothing makes you realise you no longer really have a baby like them being able to argue with you.

There’s a huge range of development in very young children. We get 2yr old coming into my class that you can hold a full conversation with and some saying a handful of single words. By three the majority will be chatting reasonably clearly.

Children who are advanced in one skill may be much less developed in something else, some babies seem to focus on one area of development at a time.

My ds is now a teen and had over 100 words at 13 months. He has ADHD and ASD and is gifted but at the same time struggles in so many ways. He is incredibly articulate but struggles to get it onto paper. And his social awareness is pretty rubbish so he is often isolated. I have a degree but at 8 he was using words I did not know.

So it is possible but the chances are her child may face other struggles later if she is truly so gifted.

My other child does not have the same natural high intelligence as his brother but has academically achieved so much more. Sometimes it is not always a gift to be so bright.

She’s unreasonable to have counted them all, but my firstborn was talking like an average 3 year old by that age so definitely not impossible. It really doesn’t mean a lot though. My younger child was much slower to speak but can now read/write better than him even though he’s 3 years younger.

My son probably said that many words at 13 months and could link 2/3 “mummy more toast” etc. Now at 13 years I’m lucky to get 2/3 words per day! Incidentally he is also dyslexic and I think there is a link with early language and later difficulties

My eldest daughter walked at ten months but wouldn’t talk until she was three. The second talked early - you could have a conversation/argument with her at 16 months, but she didn’t walk till she was 20 months. They are all different!

I’m getting chills... exactly the kind of behaviour that put me off staying in touch with my ante-natal group. Poor child, likely to endure a lifetime of boastful parenting and then grow up with an inflated ego

Blah. Child may well have 106 full words and may not, they all develop differently. Yours will probably be able to jump or skip before hers. Try not to get tied up in comparing your child with others. It's unhelpful to you and your little one.

I find best thing to do is just say 'good for her/him' and move on. Trust me, as they get older there will be hundreds of opportunities for you to compare development or behaviour so train yourself ASAP not to let it get to you.

You're a great mum, doing a great job

My almost two year old is, I would say, fairly vocal for his age. However, I often have to translate what he's is saying/ asking for to other members of the family, including his Dad. I guess if you're the mum and spend the most time with the child, you would likely consider that the child has more words than can be distinguished clearly by others.

@Hourbyehours

I’m getting chills... exactly the kind of behaviour that put me off staying in touch with my ante-natal group. Poor child, likely to endure a lifetime of boastful parenting and then grow up with an inflated ego

Ok then. 🙄

You could have a proper full blown conversation with my DD at 20 months. She used sentences etc, so it's probably possible. My sons however were all different, the elder two talking a few words at 18 months and my youngest not at all until he was about 2. They are all different.

@Hourbyehours

I’m getting chills... exactly the kind of behaviour that put me off staying in touch with my ante-natal group. Poor child, likely to endure a lifetime of boastful parenting and then grow up with an inflated ego

Exactly..children develop so differently but they all generally get to the same post eventually. Have been accused of being patronising but that wasn’t the intention.

Well I think DS did but others commented not me.

I'm pretty sure my DD had 100 words at that age. She also walked at 12 months and potty trained at 18m. My DS had no words at that age, and probably didn't have 100 until at least 3.5 years. DS is now 16, very high achieving - DD is 9, also bright but not as high achieving as her brother at the same age - though I think she has a lot more emotional intelligence. It is one indication to be taken in the context of a lot more signs and signals. Don't worry!