To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

I suspect that some of her words were like those YouTube videos of "newborns saying hiya" which are just a scary coincidence rather than the child knowing what they were saying unprompted

Unfortunately in many groups there's often one person who takes the competition too far in order to feel better.

It is possible.

My eldest didn't really talk until 4, she even saw a speech therapist.

Middle one had lots of words but was just repeating and didn't fully understand.

Youngest could easily say 100 words at 13months, could genuinely have a conversation at 18 months.

If someone had said that when my elder 2 were younger I would have thought they were exaggerating.

Who cares though? Or posts about it on sm 🤯

If she carry’s on I’d find an excuse to make a new group without her and slowly fade the old one out.

My Dds nursery asked us to make a list of the words she could say when she was 12 months. Something to do with them wanting a record of it. We got past 150. She was my first born and we didn't know anyone else with babies so I didn't know it was strange. People used to ask us how we got her to talk. We couldn't stop her

I think it is unfair to keep saying about precocious development being a sign of neuro- divergency, obviously it is possible but it feels like posters are trying to worry other parents unnecessarily. It could be a sign but children who are average or behind it can be the same.

DS1 is NT and was the one who was very advanced as a baby/toddler/young child. DS2 struggled but still pretty much in the middle academically, he has autism and ADHD, plus phonological processing issue. I know other people who have DCs that are the opposite way round to mine.

My DS had at least 50 at 1 year check and I remember the HV saying that was really unusual. He is 9 and just diagnosed with ADHD- he has literally not stopped talking since he was 1- his brain never stops! My DD had 5 at her one year check and the HV reminded me of my son and told me DD was much more typical of a 12 month old

Well my DS is 2 in March
Does sounds happily so mooooo, baaaa etc plus Mammam, Hiya (yes I am trying fir hello lol) and Ta...
106 words I'm hoping by three

Ds1 was talking very early and very coherently, in sentences at 1 years old. He was amazing. He's now 15 years old and a very average ability teenager.
Ds2 just babbled incoherently until he was around 2.5 years old

81Byerley DH is a perfectionist , everything takes a while and he is good at everything he attempts. It always involves meticulous research first. Whether it is DIY, making a cake, giving a speech whatever it is. He doesn’t trust people to do things and wants to do it himself.

That meticulous attention to detail means he has forged a career as a research scientist.

There’s always one, isn’t there. It’s all ticking along perfectly pleasantly and supportively, until....

The issue isn’t actually whether or not 106 words is possible at 13 months old, because yes it clearly is possibly (albeit unusual, at least outside the realms of MN ).

The issue is the boasting parent, willing to throw another mother’s comfort and security about her own (perfectly ‘normal’) baby under the bus, just so that she can brag about her little one’s accomplishments.

The group chat has now, (im?)perceptibly, changed tone.

Is this the road you all want it to go down? If not, it could be quite awkward moving it back to a place where the majority want it to be. At least it could be, if you want to reassure people left feeling inadequate about certain members’ comments.

Because for the sake of social ease, the daft comment will ostensibly be ignored, while everyone goes offline to message separately and secretly to reassure. And the group inevitably fractures.

106 words Mum’s comment has not had the effect it intended, which was for everyone to fall about impressed at her child’s genius, and to lay on the compliments for her incredible parenting.

Instead, she now runs the risk of people not liking or trusting her, and moving away from her. I hope it was worth it.

DD2 was quite happily using 4 word sentences, clear as a bell - and arguing with her older sister - at that age. However, I had far more pressing things to do with my time, what with working, childcare runs, housework and generally existing to sit there with a notepad writing a list of words and counting them up; she could talk, she didn't really stop talking, unless there was a health visitor trying to get her to perform for a check up three bloody visits, 2 hearing tests and countless lectures about talking to her, only to find out there was nothing wrong, she just wasn't interested in talking to them

DD1, however, according to her father, had a vocabulary of over 250 words aged 11 months old. Trouble is, 249+ of them (apart from AT for cat, that came through loud and clear) were of the mmmph at urrrr bbbbbbb variety. Perhaps he was understanding her through the power of telepathy, because she sure as hell wasn't using any of them out loud. yes, he was a twat who thought bragging like that made other people feel inferior, as was his specific intent.

By the time she was 6, I could actually have a conversation with her answering clear enough for me to understand each word (and translate for her teacher, as he couldn't when they put her in for extra work with a TA to improve her speaking - no funding for SALT unless there was a statement).

Ignore them.

DS started talking at 10 months and had over 500 words at 15 months. He was my PFB so yes, I listed them out and counted Nursery were amazed, said they'd never seen a child like him, and I was very proud. 10 years on and he's a bright kid but not a genius or otherwise extraordinary.

His little sister barely had 3 words at 1yo and didn't really do sentences until she was 2. She won't stop talking now (8yo).

Don't sweat it OP. If she's telling the truth then it doesn't mean that your child is behind, less worthy or less well-parented than your child. Let her be excited and proud without it detracting from your pride in your baby.

@CaterpillarMilkshake

There’s always one, isn’t there. It’s all ticking along perfectly pleasantly and supportively, until....

The issue isn’t actually whether or not 106 words is possible at 13 months old, because yes it clearly is possibly (albeit unusual, at least outside the realms of MN ).

The issue is the boasting parent, willing to throw another mother’s comfort and security about her own (perfectly ‘normal’) baby under the bus, just so that she can brag about her little one’s accomplishments.

The group chat has now, (im?)perceptibly, changed tone.

Is this the road you all want it to go down? If not, it could be quite awkward moving it back to a place where the majority want it to be. At least it could be, if you want to reassure people left feeling inadequate about certain members’ comments.

Because for the sake of social ease, the daft comment will ostensibly be ignored, while everyone goes offline to message separately and secretly to reassure. And the group inevitably fractures.

106 words Mum’s comment has not had the effect it intended, which was for everyone to fall about impressed at her child’s genius, and to lay on the compliments for her incredible parenting.

Instead, she now runs the risk of people not liking or trusting her, and moving away from her. I hope it was worth it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with this post. It might well be true and going by all those who've siad their children were very able but this came with other challenges she might well need support in future but I'm now thinking of her in a completely different light. Which is really sad as if she does need support at a later date I'm not sure we will still want to be there to help.

I remember thinking my dd was a super talker. I didn't boast about it, but I did write them down in an email to myself. SonI jst searched for it.
She had about 50 words at 17 months. So I guess people do count, and 100 words at 14 months would be impressive!

Seriously just ignore her. It’s obviously just a huge boast.

My sister was like this with her DS. By 18 months he was taking in sentences and his conversation was like talking to a little old man. She happily reminded me (constantly) that my DS didn’t say any words that we understood until he was about 24 months.

She doesn’t say much now (and neither do I) as her DS is in bottom set for every subject in high school and seriously struggling, where as my DS is the complete opposite and recently got a distinction for his English speaking assessment. My DS talks for England now and loves a good debate (argument) with me. He is a lovely little shit.

All children are different and develop at different rates - some parents just love to be competitive and do it to make themselves feel good.

106 words Mum’s comment has not had the effect it intended, which was for everyone to fall about impressed at her child’s genius, and to lay on the compliments for her incredible parenting

Maybe she was just excited. And wanted to share that with the group. Just like everyone wants to share the milestones. How is she supposed to know that everyone else's child can't do that.

but I'm now thinking of her in a completely different light. Which is really sad as if she does need support at a later date I'm not sure we will still want to be there to help

I think you should tell her. So she can go and find some other friends who aren't as wound up by the achievements of each others children's. 🙄

Maybe she was just excited. And wanted to share that with the group. Just like everyone wants to share the milestones. How is she supposed to know that everyone else's child can't do that.

If that was truly the case then she wouldn't have used it as an opportunity to be so rude about one of the other children. You can share your childs achievements without diminishing other children's abilities.

I don't know why any one wants a child that talks early.

I use to babysit for one of my nephews who talked early and I could have proper conversations with him by 18 months. I didn't realise it was odd until another one of my siblings pointed out that his son at the same age didn't talk.

They are both grown up now and did the same academically.

My own DD is 2 and started talking at 5.5 months. A friend of mine claims she was talking a week earlier.

Anyway she just talks and talks including telling me about her dreams. Ahhh

@HettieMillia

106 words Mum’s comment has not had the effect it intended, which was for everyone to fall about impressed at her child’s genius, and to lay on the compliments for her incredible parenting

Maybe she was just excited. And wanted to share that with the group. Just like everyone wants to share the milestones. How is she supposed to know that everyone else's child can't do that.

but I'm now thinking of her in a completely different light. Which is really sad as if she does need support at a later date I'm not sure we will still want to be there to help

I think you should tell her. So she can go and find some other friends who aren't as wound up by the achievements of each others children's. 🙄

I’m not sure they were wound up by the 106 words so much as her “only 8” response to the mum whose child says 8 words. That response would wind me up too.

I have a mums group for my youngest and one mum on there is always showing off about what her child is doing. I don’t bite and just say “well done” , “aww cute” but it does get tiring. And when in real life she’s seen that my child has done something before hers (I wouldn’t post something like that in the group), she has a face like a smacked arse and can’t return the compliments.

You also get the competitive potty training in some groups. 'My 18 month old is fully potty trained' type boasts are frequent. When in fact, it isn't the toddler who is potty trained, it's the mum who's learned to anticipate when there will be a wee or poo and places them on the potty in readiness.

It can make other mums feel very uncomfortable when their child is still having accidents at three years old (which isn't that unusual).

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz as part of your two year check and the questionnaire they do as, so you’d need to a rough idea at that point.

I was one of those kids. Could talk in full sentences before I could walk, and I didn't walk until 2.5. 106 words at 13m? Probably.

I'm not a genius now, nor was I then. There's a wide spectrum of normal.

My DS spoke a fair amount by 14 months, not 106 words but maybe 75ish. He's now 2.4 and speaks in sentences and has full conversations with us however he didn't walk til 16 months, they're all different

Who on earth would count? All your babies will talk at some point and it’s just silly competitiveness to keep track and tell other parents. In a years time will it really matter? By then she’ll be trying to convince you that her child is reading and can write it’s own name. Don’t let it worry you.

Ah with your PFB every little achievement is special, she may have been genuinely trying to celebrate her baby’s ability. She shouldn’t have commented on the other child though.

My first DC had 100+ words by the time he was 1. We have a video of him saying “grandad” over and over to my DF clear as a bell at 7.5 months. My DF was over the moon and shared the news with anyone and everyone.

When DS2 was born, DS1 was 17 months and you can hear him chatting away in the background of DS2’s first bath video. “It is an oval, possibly the moon!”

DS2 was the total opposite and by the time he was four years was still tricky to understand unless the context was known. He had speech therapy and everything. Poor little love used to get so frustrated. I was really worried for him especially off the back of DS1.

Now at 15 and nearly 14 there is nothing between them in terms of intelligence, despite the early language difference. In fact DS2 got a special award from the English department of his school for pupil of the year. So there is definitely hope for the late talkers.

Maybe point out to her that her ‘only 8’ comment caused upset.