To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

My intelligent, successful daughter could only say Mummy Daddy and her brother's short name by the age of nearly 3. My friend's child at aged 8 months was able to call out to her mother to tell her she had climbed on to the sideboard "Stuck, Mummy". All children are different. I'm told I was talking in sentences by the time my brother was born when I was 17 months. My brother in law was only pointing and making noises three months before he was due to start school. We all turned out OK. I can believe that a 13 month old would have many words...I must have done, but it doesn't make that child more intelligent or better in any way.

Should add with speech DH was investigated due to not talking at all as a small child. Then when he was almost 4 he spoke in long sentences and had speech like an adult according to his Mother.

@NoSleepInTheHeat

I imagine most 13mo are closer to 100 words than to 8

Bless you, but no Most 13 month olds are nearer to 0 words.

Noidontwatchloveisland - I have re read your post and you basically said you hate it when people say 3 when its 3.9, so closer to 4. I didnt do that, technically it was closer to 3 when he started reading. I wasn't lying or really rounding down either. Its not like 3 is that rare for reading either, its not the norm but not out there outrageous.

In the OPs situation it is really random, I am not even sure what relevance 106 words is to anyone. If it was her first words, first steps etc then that is a normal random comment on a group of friends.

DS is bright now at 14 but not a genius or anything, he does well at school overall, his literacy and languages are really good but no different to many who didn't read that early.

Talk4000 thank you for acknowledging my post.

I would ave said that mum was lying util I met my friends daughter. Who very certainly could talk at 13months. Even doctors etc.. were baffled at her ability.

I am not sure about 'not boasting and thinking about other people so you don't make them feel right'.
I mean ANY mum will be proud of what their dc can do. Esp iof it's a first child, most mums will also have no idea of what is actually extremely unsual rather than surprising. So wouldn't they talk about iwhat their dcs do?

This idea that you have to somehow hide what your dc is doing well/ahead/any particular gift your child leaves me tbh. Every ability should be celebrated. Whether its a normal one ('Oh dc1 had his first steps today. I'm so proud of him!' for a 12 months old). or really unusual one )'Oh my dc is able to speak more than 100 words' at 13 months) or from a child that is slower ('Oh my dc is finally dry at night' at age 8yo)

Might be an exaggeration but some babies speak much earlier than others

I would have completely agreed with you based on my first 2 children. However, with my 3rd I could have a full conversation with her at that age. She was clearly understood by others also.

So definitely not usual but not impossible.

I never counted, but at 13 months mine spoke in full short sentences, and when she chattered to me from the front sling as we walked around shops, I’d often have people commenting. She started nursery at exactly 13 months and her key worker was enthralled!

She couldn’t walk though 🤣
And guess what? Now at 15 she’s just as monosyllabic as every other teen she’s friends with 🤣

So I would say it’s possible - but I think it’s less likely to be true, the more someone goes on about an actual word count 😉

My middle child did.

He didn't walk until he was 19 months old, and he could sit before he could roll over. He could say words clearly at 7 months. By 2 his mean length of utterance was 6 words. At age 5 he leaned over my shoulder and read a page from "Wolf Hall"

He is a pretty normal 15 year old. He finds school easy. He had an uncoordinated childhood but has finally grown into his body and plays rugby well enough. He struggled terribly with anxiety and tics as a child but has outgrown them.

I think he masks his intelligence to fit in, but he is happy.

He was an asynchronous developer. It wasn't easy.

To make an average there will always be outliers, of course this is uncommon but not unheard of.

YABU. DD was quite conversational at this age, discussing animals and the weather. Easily 106 words. DS was a different child had nothing like that range of vocab at same age. Both are perfectly normal development curves.
Maybe your friend thought you'd be interested and even pleased for her DC? Maybe your own DC have other achievements and your friend has been happy for you about them?

The thing is OP, if you were all able to meet up regularly, you'd know anyway that this woman's 1 year old could say a lot of words. It's because you've not been able to see anyone, and she's mentioned it, it sounds like a boast.

My nephew definitely did, he basically had word for everything he saw/came across on daily basis by soon after 12 months (13/14 months), quite freaky to see him speak looking like a baby... By 18 months, full sentences, general conversation about things going on. Health visitor could not believe it when he started chatting to her about general stuff when she came to visit his newborn brother (only 14 months between them).

Then second child was "normal" had about 20 words by 14 months, less than 100 by 18 months - and no stringing together of words. Poor SIL was freaking out he was needing speech therapy, but he was actually normal (and since is also very bright kid).

A 13 month old at the 90% percentile for language development can say about 8 words.

106 words at that age is completely unrealistic.

here is the official child language checklist & resources on this
www.lucid.ac.uk/resources/uk-cdi/

Doesn't actually tell us anything about the possibility of a complete outlier. 90th percentile just means that 90% of children will be on this level or below. It doesn't say anything about what a child on the 99/9th percentile will be like. Obviously, there are physiological developments that will determine the possible: nobody believes that e.g. a 3 month old baby could walk. But an age where children are already physiologically capable of forming words, the idea that one unusually early developer might have more than any other babies in town doesn't seem totally impossible.

I would have completely agreed with you based on my first 2 children. However, with my 3rd I could have a full conversation with her at that age. She was clearly understood by others also.

I actually think it is more believable if the child is not the first as they would have siblings to learn from and I assume are more likely to talk early as they need to be heard as they are not the main focus in the same way a first and only is. It would make for an interesting discussion or research project I think.

I also just want to say a quick thank you to all those who have shared their insights and information it's been very interesting to read all the comments.

I've never been a member of these groups - still pregnant with my first. But from posts on here, they seem more of a hindrance than a help. Though I think people like the young mum need to realise that people will brag about their children and it doesn't necessarily line up to reality.

I don't get how you would keep track of the exact word count down to the word. That's weird in itself. I imagine a lot are noises or repetitions rather than full understandings. But you do get some who develop fast. Though it doesn't necessarily mean they're a genius. Some geniuses did not stand out in the their early years but developed later.

I'd be very surprised that any parent would count 106 words.

16 more likely.
Even if they said about 100, if their child is really advanced for their age.
But 106 seems very specific.

So, I think it is in her imagination.

I'd ask for a video of the child speaking that much. Not disbelieving the mum, of course. Just to be able to see such phenomenon.

@Ikora

Should add with speech DH was investigated due to not talking at all as a small child. Then when he was almost 4 he spoke in long sentences and had speech like an adult according to his Mother.

That's interesting, @Ikora. I wonder if your husband is like my daughter in character? She won't do anything unless she's sure she can do it well. Although she was very late talking, when she did talk, her speech was clear and anyone could understand her.

I hate when people say their kid is talking when in reality you can't understand a word they say! I can barely understand my 3 and 4 year old nephews at times

I actually think it is more believable if the child is not the first as they would have siblings to learn from and I assume are more likely to talk early as they need to be heard

Interestingly, the evidence suggests the opposite is much more common.

Eldest children are much more likely t be precocious talkers.

I presume a big part of that is having very focused adult attention in a way that younger siblings don’t get.

@babyyodaxmas

DS was a bit like this. He had all his colours by 18m, also used pronouns correctly very early (certainly by 2). I didn't count but wouldn't have surprised me if he had 100 words by 14m. Definately knew the names of 20 people by then, common nouns like ball,car, bike, buggy, book, some animals. So doesn't seem outlandish.

@babyyodaxmas What are DC's preferred pronouns now?

But from posts on here, they seem more of a hindrance than a help. Though I think people like the young mum need to realise that people will brag about their children and it doesn't necessarily line up to reality.

I never expected to be in one either to be fair but up until now it's actually been really nice to have others to talk to about babies. Especially as I'm the first of my friends and similarly aged family to have a child and because I cannot meet other parents due to the pandemic.

I do think the other mum is aware now that it might be a brag but I think she was worried more by the response the mum gave of only 8 and that's why she panicked as it clearly makes it sound like her child is behind.

Unfortunately none of the rest of us saw or responded to the message last night so she didn't get to see that we think only 8 words is actually great for a 13 month old.

I've never been a member of these groups - still pregnant with my first. But from posts on here, they seem more of a hindrance than a help.

My NCT group were brilliant. I got so much support from them. I was really lucky.

But I think people need to chill. Not every mum in these groups will end up a supportive friend. Just detach from the ones who have other agendas.

@TheKeatingFive

I actually think it is more believable if the child is not the first as they would have siblings to learn from and I assume are more likely to talk early as they need to be heard

Interestingly, the evidence suggests the opposite is much more common.

Eldest children are much more likely t be precocious talkers.

I presume a big part of that is having very focused adult attention in a way that younger siblings don’t get.

That's really interesting. I figured someone would have already done research on it.