To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

She must know that saying 106 words at 13 months is exceptional. Otherwise, she wouldn't have mentioned it.

She must also know that the children of the other parents in that group most likely aren't able to say 106 words yet and that this could make the other parents feel insecure especially if they are first-time parents.

If I was in her shoes, I wouldn't have mentioned it and kept it to myself. Maybe I would have just said: "My baby is making great progress with language", but certainly not more than that.

I've only voted 'YABU' because I can't see why anyone would care.

As far as my 7-YO is concerned I have no idea. I can't remember. By the time this mother's kid blows out the candles on their her birthday cake, neither will she. And the other parents definitely won't.

Connections with other parents when your kids are this age are transient. I'm betting by the time your kids start school, you won't even remember this woman's name.

Small stuff. Don't sweat it.

Her comment literally came out of no where.

Honestly, you just need to detach.

There are all kinds of parents out there. Boastful, clueless, anxious, strict, crazy, I could go on.

Don’t let them get to you. Enjoy your baby.

all children develop at different rates and usually end-up in the same ballpark

This isnt true. Clearly by adult its obvious that theres a huge variety in terms of adult skills and abilities etc. However what's definitely true is rate or timing of development in early childhood is no predictor of aptitude in adulthood or even later childhood, unless something is exceptionally delayed when it can be indicative of a persistent issue.

@justwanttoknow21

Does she mean full words ? That's impressive. My 12 month old doesn't say full words. Just the beginning of words - like ' bah ' for banana. She maybe knows 10. Not sure how she can learn another 100 by next month. OMG stressing me out too!

Buy a childrens dictionary make her copy out two words a day and learn what they mean. Preferably in cursive style of handwriting...

It is annoying and insensitive of the other parent to boast, but your child probably has skills they don't.

For example, my daughter had exceptional language skills at 13 months, and talked constantly, but only just started walking at 19 months. Even at 2 she was pretty crap at movement, which caused us no end of worry.

How is she even counting? And who has the time? And bang on 106? Not a word less or a word more? I mean its not impossible I guess but unlikely. For comparison my almost 2 year old doesn't have half that in her repertoire and alot of her speech is just babble

I had a lot more than that, and was fluent at 18 months. Its highly unusual and might not be anything to envy. I'm a genius (albeit only just) by IQ testing standards. It isn't all its cracked up to be, honestly. I haven't had a happy life. I would much, much rather have been born of average intelligence with better mental stability and a greater capacity for happiness. Focus on that first.

It's interesting to read of others who had early and incessant talkers who were also layer to walk, didn't crawl and were slow to gain other motor skills like jumping.

LOL. Just wait until she has her next child.

I have three DC, one that's very bright and two others who are average.

DC child that's very bright didn't speak in proper full sentences until 3ish. Probably said about 10 words at 13 months. She's on the 99th centile for pretty much everything.

DC 2 and 3 also late speakers but not nearly as bright.

Go figure... I'm not sure any of it means anything. But people who are insecure will look for ways to raise their status in a group. Pecking order... We're better than birds (in the kindest possible way I write that as I love birds) but really, have we evolved this far, just to put each other down?

See through it and move on. She's insecure and she's using that external yardstick of her kid's number of words as a way to feel better about herself. At other people's expense. Not very nice!

I imagine most 13mo are closer to 100 words than to 8

I remember telling my friend that I was worried about DD's lack of clear words at 15 months she responded by telling me her son {who was around 10} could speak in complete sentences at 12 months.
He was and still is completely unremarkable.

One of my children did. At 11 months she was saying things clearly enough that people hearing her for the first time were able to understand what she was saying. She was a little sponge. None of my other children spoke that early. Two of them had very poor speech and one of them didn't say more than a dozen words at 2 . I would say it is possible but not normal.

Are these words like my 2 year old niece's words, who is very chatty but requires much translation. Dog is doh. Cat is cah. Car is cah. Etc etc.

DH and I were both very advanced babies and small dc. I clearly remember the strain of even attempting to fit in with my contemporaries at nursery let alone school. I was only interested in speaking to adults. Now as middle aged folk it is painfully obvious we are not NT. We stayed in the safe haven of academia where many people are similar to us. We found our herd but being a child was exceptionally hard for both of us.

When we had dc I was just desperate for them to be accepted by their peers. DS is certainly clever but more mainstream than us. At every school meeting all I wanted to know was if he interacted with other dc well I knew full well he was fine academically.

Of course parents wants their children to do well but there is a line with intelligence that if crossed sets you apart and makes interacting with most of the human race exceptionally difficult.

@NoSleepInTheHeat

I imagine most 13mo are closer to 100 words than to 8

Really?? That would suprise me greatly!

@NoSleepInTheHeat

I imagine most 13mo are closer to 100 words than to 8

That's a slight reach. Given that the 'average' and I hate that word, 18 month old only has 20-30 words. Every single child is different. If a parent 'brags' say oh wow, well done little one. If a parent gets upset remind them that there is no such thing as normal. This whole thread has actually annoyed me, because it's turned into a pissing contest.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

I've only voted 'YABU' because I can't see why anyone would care.

As far as my 7-YO is concerned I have no idea. I can't remember. By the time this mother's kid blows out the candles on their her birthday cake, neither will she. And the other parents definitely won't.

Connections with other parents when your kids are this age are transient. I'm betting by the time your kids start school, you won't even remember this woman's name.

Small stuff. Don't sweat it.

Agreed. The other mum who is panicking could do with learning this too.

There ARE definitive advantages to early language acquisition, but what's important to remember is that there's precious little you can do to influence it, and the differences largely don't matter so long as your child grows up into a decent adult who is well adjusted enough to live a good life understanding what they enjoy).

(I was a very much in the child genius category, and as an adult I have a genius level IQ. It's the bane of my life that people can't accept these facts neutrally - it's not a slur on other people that I started talking and walking young. I'm very glad that my parents didn't hothouse me or obsess over my intelligence. I'm in the top 10% of earners roughly from my school peers, but at the bottom of that top 10% - almost all those earning more than me were distinctly c/b grade students who didn't have rich parents either. What's much better for all concerned is that all of us have followed different passions, and the kids from school who've had bad outcomes in life are generally those who have had personal issues, not academic ones.)

@ancientgran - I did NOT say that we can’t be happy for others - did I? All I said was if someone had anxiety, this type of chat wouldn’t be great for them would it? Will it stop people from just saying it though? No. Will it cause them to pause and perhaps consider the way they get their message across? Hopefully. I am extremely happy that some children are exceptionally bright - but I am also painfully aware of how that can make some other parents feel. No need to jump down my throat.

My daughter read at 4 and my son read at 3 (owing to the fact my daughter was always reading around him so he picked this up very quickly, although he was slow with words and did not know many at a young age like the OP) my daughter could wow anyone with her Shakespeare knowledge too, like your child did with their bible knowledge - but I was very aware of how that would make other people feel as well, it’s not normal and could send some into a blind panic. I was always quick to point out that this wasn’t normal. You mention “I must be lucky as the people I know never had an issue with my DD reading or her vocabulary which was way above her age” - how do you know? Could they have had an issue and not said it? Could they have panicked and went home and called their midwife? You don’t know, and that’s my point.

@Ikora so very true. Be careful people, what you wish for...

Unusual but possible. A bit naff to brag out of nowhere though.

DD was an early-ish walker, at 10.5 months, first in our NCT group, I remember one of the other mums DM starting to compare DD to her DGC (other mums face told this was a 'thing' with her DM), and I cut in to point out that yes, she was advanced in the walking department but her DGC was oh so much better at eating and sleeping!

Comparison is the thief of joy and all that, but if you're asking, DD had three words by 15 months.

'Mamamamma' - mum, milk, I need something
'Dadada' - person who is not my mother
'Dack' - duck, dog, that, thing that is not a person

A 13 month old at the 90% percentile for language development can say about 8 words.

106 words at that age is completely unrealistic.

here is the official child language checklist & resources on this
www.lucid.ac.uk/resources/uk-cdi/

@TinyChatterbox - I was that mum in the group who’s kid was always behind with crawling/walking. In my group we had one mum who was always going on about how we were putting on the wrong shoes, not encouraging enough, didn’t have the carpets for essential crawling, misused the jumperoo etc, it honestly sent me and another mum into a blind panic, I rang the midwife, spoke to a specialist etc. In the end, her version of walking, was her child ‘walking’ while holding my friends pinkie. But - for a few months (we don’t live close so didn’t see each other very often) I panicked.

Definitely possible

Who even counts? Clearly that’s an only kid.

DD (second child) spoke a lot quite early. I swore that she was able to say her name by 6 months, but when I watch the video now I doubt it (she’s just burbling).

Anyway, just ignore. This is why I studiously avoided mothers groups