To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

DD had over 100 words at 15 months (and could speak in three or four word sentences "more carrots please", "hi cat, what your name?" etc.).

I know this because I was the fucker who wrote them all down, thinking "this is a bit weird, I better write it down".

But I really believe that:

a) all children develop at different rates and usually end-up in the same ballpark

and

b) if a child excels in one area of development, they are often slower in another

An example of this is that DD didn't even TRY to walk until 18 months. No coasting, no standing, nothing. To the point where I wasn't even sure if she was weight-bearing on her legs.

She could do tiny, fiddly, little fine motor skill tasks (post raw rice into tiny holes etc.) and hold a two-way conversation at least 4 months before she could walk.

Now, at 4, she is still an excellent speaker and making good progress with reading and writing) - but can't skip or hop, is terrible at running and jumping.

I'm sure she won't get to adult-hood without being able to hop, it will come - and I'm sure that her vocabulary will normalise as time passes.

You sound over invested and super dramatic to me OP. It's obvious you don't like this other mother but no need to stir up trouble.
I'm sure we've all known a braggy mum before, she's not the first and won't be the last this poor, sad, worried single mum comes across.
Let her be, she'll get the message soon enough if she really is one of 'those' mums 🤷‍♀️

@steppemum

sorry if this has already been siad

The marker for normal developement at the 2 year check is 50 words, whichare consistant and can be understood by parents.

So that includes when the child says Din and means drink or uff-uff which he uses for the dog, as long as the parent recognises it as the same sound they use every time, it counts. It also doesn't matter if no-one else understands it, as long as the daily carer does.

That gives you a standard to work against, and there are plenty of posts on here who have a 2 year old who isn't meeting that milestone and is met with loads of answers saying - don't worry, my baby was like that and is fine.

It is often said that every baby is different, but really every baby IS different. I had an early walker and a late walker, and an early speaker and a late speaker. Now, as teens they are all fine.

Exactly right, amazing how it will so often even out, obviously you get the Stephen Hawkins who are probably always ahead but for the vast majority it evens out. My totally unco-ordinated daughter did eventually learn to ride a bike, swim and ski. Ball skills still defeat her and she's ten years older than yours but it doesn't seem to have held her back.

I started nannying for one family when their son was 13 months, and was blown away by how much speech he had. It never occurred to me to count them but he seemed to know and clearly speak the most 'obvious' nouns - horse, rabbit, ball, car, dog, carrot, book, house, tractor etc etc. He learned colours, numbers and letter sounds very early too but they moved away when he turned 4 and I lost contact, so I don't know if he was a generally advanced child or if he fell more into line with his peers. His sister was 18 months when they left and she only had one (indistinct!) word! She was much better dexterity wise though, and could do a shape sorter in a minute, whereas he'd always struggled with that sort of thing.

@majesticallyawkward

There's always one bright parent in a group that spoils it for everyone isn't there? 106 is a lot, and I'd suspect the mother is overestimating. You or the other parent that is worrying should take it with a pinch of salt.

Honestly I've never come across a baby so young who can say that many words. My DD was an early talker but at 13/14 months had maybe 10 words (mostly food related), by 2 was speaking in full, complex sentences... and hasn't stopped talking in the 3 years since!
My DS who is now 14 months has a handful- started saying 'there go' this weekend which is the closest to a sentence he's been. He can get his point across non-verbally well enough we think he's just not bothered about talking, much less effort to point/show or do his various 'dances' to tell us what he wants. By dances I mean he does a little stompy/spinny routine that changes for what he wants.

It’s really common amongst UK based Indian extended families for kids to say first words between 6-9 months, be speaking in full sentences in at least 2 languages by 12-15 months, and to be fully poo and we potty trained by 15 months. That doesn’t mean they’re more advanced or lying - it just means that the social fabric of the family just guides how a baby develops.

For example my local friends who are farmers all have babies who could walk long distances and swim before 12 months and who were planting and milking and gathering eggs confidentally by the time they were 13 months. Are you going to say I’m lying about them too just because your son (and mine) can’t do that?

My eldest was slow to speak but he had a hearing problem and improved after he had gromits, my middle DS talked non stop and seemed to have been reincarnated as his vocabulary was like that of a wise old man! he was very good verbally. My youngest seemed to follow a mix of the 2 of them. I never counted their words though, just allowed them to develop at their own pace. Competitive parenting isnt something I was into

At 13 months my son said no words- and that was normal. The Health Visitor said they only start to worry around 18 months (and even then there may not be a problem)
What happened with mine was when the words came - at 17 months or so - they came very fast- and I think he is now fairly ahead.
So your friend with the 13 month old really shouldn't worry at all.
And your other friend sounds obnoxious.

Welcome to baby groups/ competitive parenting 😂 there will always be someone who claims their child is saying a billion words by a year and has read war and peace while the other kids are struggling through Biff, Chip and Kipper. Just smile and nod “oh wow, that’s amazing” and move on. Don’t let it make you feel bad.

My boy could say many words at 13 months. Probably over 100 and docs said it was unusual (I know he has over 200 words at 18 months cos I was asked to make a list in a week by someone who noted he was unusual). At two he could say multiple worded sentences and he is now an unstoppable 2.5 year old chatterbox who doesn't stop lecturing us about planets. Yet he still climbs stairs on his knees because he is tiny (2nd percentile) and at 2 could not jump with both feet off the ground and was therefore listed as having poor gross motor skills. He didn't stack blocks when most babies could yet could build train tracks before most. Toilet training is still not working (mostly my fault for not being consistent I guess). What am trying to say is kids develop differently in different areas. Don't make it a competition

Can't stand parents that boast about their children.

Even if it's true what she's saying, what's the point of saying it?

@Fruityherbaltea

Can't stand parents that boast about their children.

Even if it's true what she's saying, what's the point of saying it?

The conment was made in a parenting group where I assume everyone was talking about what their kids were doing.

10:49PugInTheHouse

Didnt say it wasnt true. If you reread my post it's more about the need to be specific. People will always round down their child's age when boasting of their achievements. My son was out of nappies before he turned 2, I don't walk around saying he was potty trained at 1 because it's clearly misleading.

The conment was made in a parenting group where I assume everyone was talking about what their kids were doing.

Isnt a parenting group for talking about what the parents are doing eg parenting?

@BendingSpoons

I'm a Speech Therapist. That would be VERY unusual. Plus at 13m the words are usually indistinct e.g. ma for mum, milk, more. So are they counting them pointing at something and saying a random sound? Or maybe copying the parent but not really understanding what they are saying. They either have a genius or are exaggerating somewhat!

We say on average first words 12-15m, 50 words at 18m, but any words at 18m is ok. It's annoying when someone's boasting stresses others out.

DS1 is a bona fide genius (WISC scale 153, top 0.1%) and didn't have 106 clear words at that age. I shouldn't worry, it's maternal wishful thinking in all likelihood.

Most 13 month old babies can say muma or dada or basic words, but most of the time they point to things and go uh uh for things they want. Kids learn at different rates, they learn to talk with some sense when they start nursery at around 3 or 4.
Maybe her kid is a genius and does know and talk all those words she claims but she should know I'll bet there's a 13 month old kid out there that knows 110 lol

Nope bullshit. It would be very very rare. I think a lot of people let their imagination get the better of them, and a lot of people remember things about the ir children wrong.
I work with kids, I've been around young children my whole life. Never have I come across a one year old that could say that many words.

I'm sure I'll get a pile on of mnetters now telling me how wrong I am.

Just keep reassuring the younger mum in your group. The one who is boasting is possibly unhappy or struggling herself. People who are comfortable and confident do not feel the need to boast or make others feel inferior.
My DC’s are in their 20’s now but we had one of these competitive mums in our antenatal group; according to her both her DC’s were saying Mama and Dada by the time they were 6 months. The rest of us got used to this bragging and just used to eye roll when she’d come out with her outlandish pronouncements.
Have lost touch with her after her marriage imploded and she used her DC’s as weapons against their father but am still in touch with a couple and we have a chuckle over her even now.

My eldest DGS was 10mths old and sitting in his big pram inside a shop when a lady walked up to him and said you are lovely what is your name not expecting my little chap to answer her with "John" she was so shocked by 13/14mths he was talking none stop my daughter used to talk to him all day long as she was going around the house doing her housework.
His brother 13mths younger never started talking until he was 16mths old even though he was talked too the same way,not all babies are the same thank goodness,both boys now talk none stop 1st DGS is a lawyer and 2nd DGS is an electronics engineer so OPS tell you friend who is worried not to fret they all catch up in the end x

Oh and OP you will get loads of boasters on MN too, people say things they know are socially frowned upon (boasting is not considered good form in the UK) when they can hide behind a username. So I'd just ignore all the people on here proclaiming how ok it is to bore people with your child's achievements and constantly make others feel bad about their own children's development.

Mine had over 100 at that age. No idea how many as I didn’t count but it was a lot. He’s 2 and you can have a full conversation with him.
But he’s delayed in other areas so it all evens out really.

The conment was made in a parenting group where I assume everyone was talking about what their kids were doing.

Sorry if I wasn't clear this isn't a parents group its simply a facebook chat which includes 5 of us who happened to meet at an antenatal class. As we haven't been able to meet up we tracked each other down and made a group chat last summer.

At the time of her posting the last message had been a few days ago relating to where to buy a puddle suit from. Her comment literally came out of no where.

Yep Op it's a big old boast, no mistake.

Ignore ignore. Don't give the attention she is seeking and DEFINITELY dont reply with anything about your own child. People like this are seeking to compare so that they can validate their opinion that their own child is superior in whatever way.

My first talked very early and was very slow to walk. As she took her first steps she said “I am walking yay”. It is possible. There is a huge range of normal. Incidentally my second walked much earlier and barely spoke until 2 so it is definitely the child and not the parent.

I participated in a study for Oxford Brookes university during lockdown and this is the only reason I know (I never count normally and haven’t since completing their studies) so I know my son could say around 36 words at that age, 190ish by 16 months and he’s speaking in sentences with a vocabulary of 500+ and isn’t yet 2. That being said I know he is a very bright and verbose child (I’m not a bragging parent and don’t say this to people in real life but he patently is and it’s not a surprise given my own IQ and academic ability). However, with my family there have also been children who basically said 1 word until they were 2.5 then spoke in sentences and grew into very academic and able adults. Others were very chatty children but have severe dyslexia and struggled in school (in a time when dyslexia wasn’t recognised). What I’m saying is that babies are all different and there is a whole range of normal. I think, based on google, that 5 words is average for that age, so all of your babies are doing great and you don’t need to engage in a competition with this woman who clearly wants to know her child is gifted (whether or not she actually is).

@Emmelina

Welcome to baby groups/ competitive parenting 😂 there will always be someone who claims their child is saying a billion words by a year and has read war and peace while the other kids are struggling through Biff, Chip and Kipper. Just smile and nod “oh wow, that’s amazing” and move on. Don’t let it make you feel bad.

What do mums talk about at your baby groups? Obviously mentioning anything that their child has done is unacceptable so do you all just pretend you don't have children and talk about other things?

Is it OK to mention anything, I mean can you say your child can walk, has got their first tooth, is everything competitive parenting or just the things that their child does before yours, which is obviously lying.