To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

Meh. Every kid is different, I knew kids who didn’t talk or barely until they were almost 2, some who spoke in several languages at 18 months and some who yes were very early speaker and could speak at incredible speed and with incredible vocabulary at a young age. I am very close to a 17 months old kid who at 12 months old said a crazy amount of, not just words but sentences.
“help me!”
“All done!”
“No more”
“Take me out.”

You could also sing twinkle twinkle star and she would feel up the gap, it was bloody impressive. Her older sister was apparently even more advanced and I haven’t known her as a baby but I have known her since she is 2 (she is now 4) and even at 2 I was mind blown by her vocabulary. Even now at 4, her English is probably much more advanced than mine and she formulates sentences in ways that very few kids, let alone 4yo do. I remember at 3 doing an activity with her and her saying "to do this successfully, I might have to stand over here for more leverage and might need to lean on the edge a bit, don’t worry though, I am quite balanced.“ and I remember looking at her and thinking "WTF???" She had just turned 3 and is a very small child (her toddler sister is almost her height even now), I have seen videos of her as a baby and she definitely talked before the age of 1 (not full conversations obviously but shockingly well for a baby).

Some kids are surprising, she is a talker for sure but she isn’t as good at physical activities, so kids have different abilities, worrying about a 13 months old vocabulary is the worst thing one can do. Let’s let them develop their own abilities at their own pace and let’s stop pushing babies to perform so we/the moms can brag.

I also think it's possible, but it's rare

Ds1 had about 3 words at 12 months. Ds2 must have had around 100. He knew SO many words.

It's not a 'word' unless very consistent multiple times in context.

My son's 'said' about 50 things if him pointing at the radiator and waffling something vaguely relevant one of those times means a word.

My dd did. She had proper conversations and understood at 12 m
She was ‘gifted and talented’ at school with her work
Socially v behind
Diagnosed asd a few years later

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

DS1 walked at 9 months, had a huge vocabulary at 13 months and could read at 3 (not learned words, proper blending).

I hate when people say this. My DS could also "read at 3". He was 3 and 9m (ie nearer 4). and could blend words easily. There's a huge leap between that and having the stamina to manage a whole book. I would never describe it as him "reading at 3", I would say he got the hang of blending at nearly 4.

Theres such a huge gap in the capabilities of a just turned 3 year old and one approaching 4, it's not meaningful to describe a child reading at 3.

Mine could read at 2, could read more words than she could say, we were just fascinated that she would read signs and if you asked her to point something out she ould. At 3 she would read books to the other kids at playgroup, reception teacher who visited to meet children due to start school said she couldn't believe it, she must know the book off by heart so playgroup reader asked her to pick a book out of the box the library had just delivered and get her to read it and she did. At 4 she loved to read Enid Blyton books and similar.

The others caught up as I knew they would, she isn't an avid reader and is much more of the science side but you know there is always a spectrum she was at one end for reading and at the other end for walking, she did it late, and she still can't catch, throw or kick a ball to save her life.

[quote mootymoo]@curlymom

I remember those days, I was the one with the non verbal child. Dd1 did end up being diagnosed with autism but dd2 was also a late talker, around 20 months for first words. Both at university now. Both of mine were walking at 9 months and running by a year - one is still very physically orientated eg fitness, sports, is a trainee engineer. The other loves words, the one who talked so late (3)[/quote]
Glad they are doing well. I did get irritated by constant competing. Not a nice start to their lives. Funny enough, those competitive mums are still like that now with cars, houses, holidays etc. Such a bad example for the children

and she would feel up the gap

What does this mean? 😵

I dont know about 13 months but by 18 months my first was talking in sentences. He was super fast with everything, ahead of the curve for sure. He is autistic though (aspergers) my 3 year old is also autistic and his speexh is delayed. Basically it doesn't really matter how fast or slow they learn right now, it has no baring on how they will be at school or as an adult.

Mine could read at 2

24 months or 35? Theres a big difference. My nephew could at about 34 months too. That's nearly 3.

I can’t actually remember what age DS1 started to speak but I used to get the NHS emails saying things like he should be saying words for things he wants like cup and he was already talking in full sentences. DS2 is the opposite, he would hardly talk all and we were getting worried then he moved from individual words to short sentences in about a month when he was just over 2.5.

Same parenting, they were just ready at different times.

sorry if this has already been siad

The marker for normal developement at the 2 year check is 50 words, whichare consistant and can be understood by parents.

So that includes when the child says Din and means drink or uff-uff which he uses for the dog, as long as the parent recognises it as the same sound they use every time, it counts. It also doesn't matter if no-one else understands it, as long as the daily carer does.

That gives you a standard to work against, and there are plenty of posts on here who have a 2 year old who isn't meeting that milestone and is met with loads of answers saying - don't worry, my baby was like that and is fine.

It is often said that every baby is different, but really every baby IS different. I had an early walker and a late walker, and an early speaker and a late speaker. Now, as teens they are all fine.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland erm I'm sorry, I didnt realise you were aware of my sons capabilities. He was 3 and a half, apologies I did think I had typed 3.5 TBF so that's my fault. He had read many of the learn to read books and knew the basic rules, he could properly read at 3.5, not just getting the hang of blending but apologies that you think you know my son better than me. At just over 3 he could blend phonetically built words but didn't know any complex reading rules that young of course. It wasnt that unusual, I could do the same at that age and also there were 2 others at his pre school who were similar, his YR teacher said they usually had 1 or 2 every year who were completely fluent by the time they started school, it wasnt always the nearly 5 year olds either.

I documented it as he did it as I was amazed by it so I havent remembered it wrong. Not sure why the need to be so nasty. He is now 14 and the only time he reads now is when he has to for school, I find it really sad actually. DS2 is the other end of the scale, diagnosed speech and language disorder and has a phonological processing issue. We had comments the other way round with him suggesting we were not reading with him, he was lazy etc as other people always think they know more than the parent.

Comments like this is why I would only ever write stuff like that on a forum and not say it in RL. How sad to have to be so spiteful about a child's achievements.

Why don't you suggest a catch up on Zoom with your babies to see if she's right

I remember going over to the house of another mum from my antenatal group. Her son was about 10 months old and mine was a month younger. I nearly fell of my chair when he came toddling in (he was an early walker, too) and said "Mummy, may I have a cup of milk please?".

I kid you not.

He is now 13 and quite exceptionally intelligent, to be fair.

One of mine had a similar number of words at that age, having started with his first word at nine months and was using full sentences by 18 months. He was also crawling at five months and walking at just before 11 months. The other barely had any words until he was two and didn't walk until 18 months. They are all different, in fact, my late developer has over taken my early developer in several subjects at school despite a two year age gap. Some do things earlier, some do them later. In the grand scheme of things, no one will care how many words they had at one when they're eighteen.

There's always one bright parent in a group that spoils it for everyone isn't there? 106 is a lot, and I'd suspect the mother is overestimating. You or the other parent that is worrying should take it with a pinch of salt.

Honestly I've never come across a baby so young who can say that many words. My DD was an early talker but at 13/14 months had maybe 10 words (mostly food related), by 2 was speaking in full, complex sentences... and hasn't stopped talking in the 3 years since!
My DS who is now 14 months has a handful- started saying 'there go' this weekend which is the closest to a sentence he's been. He can get his point across non-verbally well enough we think he's just not bothered about talking, much less effort to point/show or do his various 'dances' to tell us what he wants. By dances I mean he does a little stompy/spinny routine that changes for what he wants.

@lioncitygirl

One of my children was like this - though very few people knew and honestly it wasn’t a big deal to me at all. My other child was the complete opposite. At the moment, the child who could speak early is a bit of a bookworm (and learned to read v.v early) and the other child has almost caught up. It’s rare - but not unheard of.

It does sound like this mom is being a show off though, and it’s not great for others to hear especially if they have anxiety (I do and panicked when my culls couldn’t crawl at 6 months or walk at 9 months due to a mum mentioning this to me).

So can no one ever mention anything a child does? I've congratulated people on their baby swimming at 12 months, riding a two wheeler at almost 3, or taking their first steps at 4, to be fair the last one was the one we were most excited about as the little one was profoundly disabled and the parents had been told she would never walk. Why can't we be happy for others.

I must be lucky as the people I know never had an issue with my DD reading or her vocabulary which was way above her age, she could read fluently before school, she could wow anyone with her Old Testament knowledge (bible stories was one of her favourite books.) We would all congratulate the others who had other things to celebrate.

One of my memories is of her going to a special needs swimming class at 4, she was so awkward physically it was deemed a good idea. The other children had a variety of conditions, Cerebral Palsy, Downs and some undiagnosed.. The other mums thought it was hilarious when new people joined, mums would all share their child's diagnosis and eventually someone would ask what my daughter's diagnosis was, and the cry would go up, "Yes that's what we want to know." With much laughter. It was such a lovely group and everyone celebrated what the children achieved.

maybe she meant 105? that would make more sense :D

actually though, both my boys had loads of words by that age, I think about 102? (jokes, I didn't count!). not boasting just saying that it is possible. they were behind in some areas but way ahead with their talking. everything evens out in the end though

@steppemum

sorry if this has already been siad

The marker for normal developement at the 2 year check is 50 words, whichare consistant and can be understood by parents.

So that includes when the child says Din and means drink or uff-uff which he uses for the dog, as long as the parent recognises it as the same sound they use every time, it counts. It also doesn't matter if no-one else understands it, as long as the daily carer does.

That gives you a standard to work against, and there are plenty of posts on here who have a 2 year old who isn't meeting that milestone and is met with loads of answers saying - don't worry, my baby was like that and is fine.

It is often said that every baby is different, but really every baby IS different. I had an early walker and a late walker, and an early speaker and a late speaker. Now, as teens they are all fine.

Yes exactly. DS calls water ‘mum mum’, but when be wants to drink it he calls it ‘now please’. Similarly banana is ‘nana’ but the end bit is called ‘boobie’

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland why are you questioning my post as not being true if your nephew could read at 34 months? Is it only possible for your nephew then? My DS started reading by 3 and could read books at 3.5. I really dont feel my post was wrong to say 3 (even though I had unintentionally not put the months)

I think there's some major exaggeration going on here! I've got 3 kids and whilst learning to talk, they all parroted some words back as soon as they heard them. Full words, coherent to an adult, etc - but that doesn't mean they had a clue what they were saying. Nor could they say them again - it was literally mimicking the noise they'd just heard. And if someone is the sort of parent who counts how many words their child has, they're the sort of parent who is going to include a word that was uttered once and never again!m

This- I expect this is the exact scenario. I had an early talking, (don't know the number at 13 months because normal people don't count past the first few words) early walking dd, they all end up much the same in the end. Dd2 was the opposite and a very late talker, she was 3 before anything made any sense. Her very first parents evening at school the teacher was surprised to hear this as she spoke of her amazingly advanced vocabulary (again a few years on she's much the same as all her peers although does still come out with some beauties) they all just do things at different rates so even in the unlikely chance this child is talking in full clear short sentences and has 106 clear contextual words, I'd doesn't mean they will be any more advanced at age 8 than a child who doesn't talk til they are 3

There's always one bright parent in a group that spoils it for everyone isn't there?

I think that's one of the reasons it's annoyed me so much. As well as her obviously being aware she worried the other parent and making no attempt to empathise the group up to now has been very supportive. I just feel like this is the start of her turning it into a competition and that's not going to help anyone.

I've messaged the other mum again and reiterated that it's very out of the ordinary and mentioned about the 2 year check and how many words they look for. She's feeling more rational today after getting some sleep and has wisely decided to ignore the just 8 comment.

Some children will be able to even if most can't. There is such variation in development. I'm pretty sure none of mine could, but all three of them were at totally different ability levels at that age, not just for speech. Thinking about it, my latest talker is also the one who achieves the most academically and my earliest walker is the clumsiest of all of them, so earlier development does not seem to have indicated any long term advantage in skills.