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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you squeezed the most out of life - or have you not?

63 replies

mullingoverthepast · 31/01/2021 20:06

Like quite a few of us lately, I think I'm spending time looking back with nostalgia. I feel like I had so much fun and opportunities in one way, but also just didn't really have my shit together so didn't fully appreciate how those opportunities would one day be gone.

I really understand now what is meant by the saying "youth is wasted on the young" Shock Grin though in all seriousness, don't really agree with that either, because probably the magic part of youth is you are unburdened by all that stuff.

If I could have my time again, I'd try to be more shrewd. There are plenty of very shrewd young people out there - how I wish I'd been more like them!

What about you? Do you feel you've availed of all the best opportunities when young? Or have you kind of muddled through hoping for the best like me?!

What achievements are you proudest of? I have none that stand out, really. Regrettably!

OP posts:
Pinkdaisy28 · 31/01/2021 20:13

I have done a fair bit of travelling throughout my twenties but as I turn thirty and have focussed on building a career, I panic I’ll look back and think I should have just travelled again and for longer!!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 31/01/2021 20:15

Depends really. I became a mum young so I didn't spend my 20s being carefree, I had responsibilities. I have enjoyed my life though and I do think I live it to the full.

DS will be grown up by the time I'm 40 so perhaps I can spend my 40s doing all the things I never got to do in my 20s Grin

grafittiartist · 31/01/2021 20:16

I have muddled through a bit.
I sometimes worry that I should be doing more. But- I am happy and content, and am very glad of that.

Squeakycheese · 31/01/2021 20:17

I wish that I'd accepted my bisexuality when I was younger. I'm happily married to a lovely man but I do regret that I didn't have the confidence to try dating women in my twenties. Also I wish that I had realised that I am very possibly autistic when I was in my teens or twenties. It might have hopefully helped me to understand myself better and maybe helped me with my anxiety and horribly low self esteem. Apart from those things I'm very happy with how my life has played out. My greatest achievement is my wonderful dd Smile

Babamamananarama · 31/01/2021 20:22

I feel like I have done pretty well thus far. Travelled a lot through my 20s and beyond, have an exciting career (running a company which I've helped build up with a group of friends) which means I get to go to lots of interesting places and which never throws up the same thing twice. Did a lot of festivals for a few years before kids (mainly for free as either DP or I was working them - he was in a successful band at the time). Bought a flat in a really interesting and buzzy part of London so had a fairly interesting time still when the kids were little (plus I was still working). Took the plunge last year and upped sticks and moved to Cornwall, now living a completely different lifestyle. I don't really feel I've settled, I feel like I've stayed in the driving seat, and my life has never been boring. There's always still loads to learn and I am someone who loves learning and will go out and find stuff for myself.
I'm hoping that Covid doesn't curtail our ability to go off and have adventures as there's loads of places still on my travel bucket list - but I also know there are amazing adventures to be had in this beautiful part of the world so I'm donning my waterproofs and getting stuck into those for now.

Bagelsandbrie · 31/01/2021 20:22

The only thing I wished I’d done is travelled more when I was young and carefree but I didn’t have the money for that.

However, I did spent most of my late teens and early 20s having the time of my life working in a busy and very rough south London pub getting up to all sorts of absolute mischief. Basically getting home shitfaced at 4am and going to college at 6am and then doing it all again and again. God knows how I did it and still managed to get excellent grades .

I did plenty of unsafe and dangerous things - like going on the back of a motorbike at 2am across London with a load of blokes much older than me (who thankfully were good uns but they might not have been) and walking home on my own regularly at 4am as I didn’t want to waste my wages on taxi fares.

Don’t regret any of it.

Now aged 40 I have chronic ill health and those memories mean a lot to me.

coronafiona · 31/01/2021 20:27

I totally lived life to the full Wink

AgeLikeWine · 31/01/2021 20:29

No.

I worked way too hard in my 20s. I was desperate to prove myself at work, which is what happens when working class young people enter middle class spaces in which they feel they don’t belong, and feel they are not entitled to occupy. I now regret all the late nights & weekends spent working when I should have been out enjoying my youth.

LetItGoGo · 31/01/2021 20:32

I am risk averse but pushed myself to do difficult things when younger.

I think I stressed myself out! But it helped me change my life circumstances and I had interesting experiences.

I don't understand my laid back kids.😂

Wearywithteens · 31/01/2021 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

malificent7 · 31/01/2021 20:47

Yes and no...i was in a very controlling relationship untill i was 21 which basically robbed me of my youth but made up for it by partying hard afterwards.

LetItGoGo · 31/01/2021 21:08

I do wish I'd had the money to be able to get things wrong.

Love51 · 31/01/2021 21:11

I feel like life has squeezed me!

Redwinestillfine · 31/01/2021 21:16

See if I could change anything it would be not to waste so much time boozing and partying in my twenties with people who have turned out not to be close friends ( uni) and Instead to have knuckled down a bit more and maybe taken the other opportunities uni life offered a bit more seriously.

ArabellaScott · 31/01/2021 21:17

Squeezed it far too hard, tbh, now enjoying being old before my time. Smile

Foghead · 31/01/2021 21:18

Keep squeezing op. It’s never too late. Though I so appreciate all the travel and exploring may have to wait a bit...
I’ve tried to get the most out of life but to be honest, I’m a bit lazy so I know I could’ve done more.

Plussizejumpsuit · 31/01/2021 21:19

I don't know how I feel about the need to make the most of things and squeeze the most out of life. Just feels like an extension of capitalist ideology. Like you're not worth anything if you're not productive or getting the most out of something. I have anxiety and it's fairly well managed, but when it's not I do think a lot of it stems from bot doing enough or being enough.

I'm actually much happier when I'm just living and not trying to do bettter all the time. Or ticking off a bucket list (not that I do this, but you get the gist)

dancinfeet · 31/01/2021 21:52

I had my first dd when I was young (early 20s) and I just wish I had someone around to advise me back then on money management, divorce and finances. Am in my early 40s, skint and working full time and then some running a business that makes very little profit and living in a dead end small northern town. I wish I had moved to a city and done something more exciting career wise, I feel like it's too late to retrain to do anything else so I am destined to be poor and struggling financially for the rest of my life. My daughters are my pride and joy and the one thing I would not change about my life.

speakout · 31/01/2021 21:54

I am living my best time.

HeidiHaughton · 31/01/2021 21:56

I wish I had gone with my heart and not my head when it came to what to study in university. I wish I had managed my money better in my 20s and become more financially literate. And I wish I had taken better care of my teeth and conquered my fear of the dentist earlier.

Flatcokeisnojoke · 31/01/2021 21:57

Looking back is pointless

Regret is a pointless emotion

Look forward instead and plan how you are going to squeeze the most out of life in the next few years

I have great plans for when my kids leave home Wink

PegasusReturns · 31/01/2021 22:01

I was reckless. I drank to much, took drugs and got myself in many precarious situations.

I was fortunate that I’m also incredibly driven, had my DC in my late 20s (which knocked the drugs on the head) and so overall have been very successful.

My only regret - and it feels such a silly one - is that I have no real talent. I’m a decent person, objectively “successful”, I give back to my community and have 4 lovely DC but I don’t dance the tango, or play violin. I can’t do a round off double back flip or a triple salco. I don’t knit or sew, paint or craft.

I can never answer that “tell us something interesting about yourself question” satisfactorily.

ghostyslovesheets · 31/01/2021 22:07

yeah - still trying to!

left home before my 18th - moved to London - worked and had a blast - lived in dodgy bedsits and flat shares

moved abroad after that - loved every moment of it - then did a degree and partied hard through the 90's - owned my own home, met a man, married, had 3 amazing kids, divorced, built a new life, worked hard - have a job I love and am well regarded in - great mates, lovely family - awaiting the next chapter - 60+ and moving back to my home town to chill in my old age!

ArabellaScott · 31/01/2021 22:07

Talent isn't real, Pegasus. Just application, time and perseverance, for almost all skills in almost all cases.

If you've been driven and successful then - that is what people call 'talent'! Smile Is there some part of you that's not being fulfilled, maybe?

Maybe83 · 31/01/2021 22:11

Yes I do think I have. I wish I was slightly more sensible with money sometimes when I was younger but I have great memories of my teens and twenties. I am happy with my life in my thirties.

Great nights out, concerts, festivals, weekends away and holidays. I was a teen mother and left school with out my final exams. I went back to education and have built a good career with professional qualifications.

I love my friends and family and love to be able to spend time with then. I am as equally happy though curling up in bed with my kindle. I try to laugh every day and we have a very happy, joking family its important to DH and I.

I plan to travel even more as the kids grow up.

My biggest achievement: The life I built as a single mam to Dd.

My biggest regret: Starting smoking