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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be happy with this rent split?

141 replies

Dustyspringfield10 · 31/01/2021 15:44

700 including bills for a one-bed flat. If one person pays 500 who is in full time employment, salary of 1200 per month. The other person isn't in work due to covid and pays 200 per month.
If the person unemployed looks for and finds a job they could split the rent 350 each way. Would you accept to pay 300 more per month than the unemployed person?

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 31/01/2021 17:48

@Dustyspringfield10

Its ridiculous,we aren't married, we don't have children together, we haven't lived together before, I refuse to be "required" to support him. I earn 1200 per month and have 350 monthly debt repayments coming out of that too, I am strapped for cash.
In that case I wouldn't move in together. Pps are correct, you would be "required" to support him (btw your income would count even for student loans). I get what you mean. I think you should stay living separately until he finds a job.
mootymoo · 31/01/2021 17:49

If you live together he cannot claim uc as a single person, it needs to be a joint claim. It's fraud if you don't

Fascinationends · 31/01/2021 17:49

If you aren't already living together, I wouldn't start now. Wait till they are working, or you could be in this position indefinitely. I wouldn't want to carry a partner long term with a low income and debts.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 31/01/2021 17:49

I am bit confused whether you live together and have tenancy or not yet. That actually makes masiave difference to the advice

Rachie1973 · 31/01/2021 17:50

@Dustyspringfield10

Its ridiculous,we aren't married, we don't have children together, we haven't lived together before, I refuse to be "required" to support him. I earn 1200 per month and have 350 monthly debt repayments coming out of that too, I am strapped for cash.
Not their problem I’m afraid

You would be expected to pool resources and negotiate a lower payment on your debts.

MsVestibule · 31/01/2021 17:50

I think I must have missed something here - what is your BF/GF's current living situation and what is yours? Is one of you already living in the flat?

Original poster
Dustyspringfield10 · 31/01/2021 17:52

We don't already live together.
No, I'm not morally obliged to support him despite what some on here think. He isn't my husband etc. We are a couple dating and now moving in together.
I didn't know about the UC rules for living together.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dustyspringfield10 · 31/01/2021 17:53

"you will have to find the money"

Yeah, it's that easy isn't it. I'm sure you could magic some up too ?

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 31/01/2021 17:54

@Dustyspringfield10

We don't already live together. No, I'm not morally obliged to support him despite what some on here think. He isn't my husband etc. We are a couple dating and now moving in together. I didn't know about the UC rules for living together.
Morally you’re not obliged to of course. But for benefits you will be legally obliged.
MsVestibule · 31/01/2021 17:55

No, I'm not morally obliged to support him despite what some on here think

You've given very little information, so it's no wonder people are struggling to give meaningful advice! If you'd said from the outset that you weren't already living together, the advice would have been very different. FWIW, I don't think you should move in together until her gets a job.

IM0GEN · 31/01/2021 17:55

Couples who live together are always saying that it’s just the same as marriage, they are equally committed and it judgemental to think otherwise. Because marriage, as we are always being told, is just a piece of paper and totally meaningless.

2021Sunshine · 31/01/2021 17:55

You might be entitled to a small amount of UC together. Tbh though you need to do some research

SchrodingersImmigrant · 31/01/2021 17:56

If you can I would postpone the moving in together, but i get that cannot always be done.
Sonce you haven't even lived together yet, I would grind my teeth, do this and then sort out some form of repayment like they will then pay more until it evens out. But I would absolutely give a timefrime and strict one.

GintyMcGinty · 31/01/2021 17:56

Good friend = yes

Flatmate = not sure

Partner = why do you have his and her money, pool your resources and work together.

LeroyJenkinssss · 31/01/2021 17:59

Where are you living now? Because if you are already in the flat then you’re still better off because besides the rent there’s food and stuff that will be split 50/50 or similar.

My DH then DP paid for everything when I was a student and not working. When I temped and got a bit extra then it just went in the pot.

Tbh it doesn’t sound like you can see a long future and it sounds like you might just resent him

curiouslypacific · 31/01/2021 18:00

Well if you can't afford to pay a bigger share of the rent and he can't afford to pay half, then it sounds like you can't afford to move in together right now. Can you wait til he's earning again and you don't have to sub him?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 31/01/2021 18:01

If this other person is currently unemployed they will be receiving 73 quid a week plus housing benefit if they’re currently in rented accommodation. Once they move in with you they will receive only that 73 quid a week. And out of that they are proposing to give you 50?

Nice for them but a potential disaster for you. You’ve not lived together before so what happens if the relationship fails, they get too comfy sitting on their arse all day/can’t find a job? They need to go but have no deposit to move elsewhere. Stuck.

Please don’t do it, for the sake of your sanity

Sobeyondthehills · 31/01/2021 18:01

@Dustyspringfield10

We don't already live together. No, I'm not morally obliged to support him despite what some on here think. He isn't my husband etc. We are a couple dating and now moving in together. I didn't know about the UC rules for living together.
Don't move in together, then. Its that simple, your wages will be counted in together as a household income. Your partner will lose some or all of his UC, you maybe entitled to the rent element of it, but it wont cover the whole amount of your rent
kowari · 31/01/2021 18:02

Can he pick up agency or delivery work, anything?

AStudyinPink · 31/01/2021 18:03

This is the decision everyone has to make: you cohabit with a partner, they lose eligibility for state support if they lose their income, because the presumption made by government is that you are an economic unit. It’s hardly the government’s fault if you move in with a casual boyfriend you aren’t prepared to subsidise in the event of hardship. Move out?

AStudyinPink · 31/01/2021 18:04

Or - in this case - keep living apart.

cochineal7 · 31/01/2021 18:07

Again, no you are not required to support him. But when you move in together you are a couple and then it will affect UC. As you are in a relationship. UC doesn’t care if the relationship is new, established, fleeting or built to last, as that would become quite an invasive and difficult test. No idea why you think the tax payer should be supporting your relationship just because you are not married or you are just starting out.

Jobsharenightmare · 31/01/2021 18:09

For my partner of course. For a new partner temporarily yes assuming they had a job and have lost it now.

LaceyBetty · 31/01/2021 18:09

Sounds like there is some resentment on your part already. I wouldn't move in with someone on that footing.

IndecentFeminist · 31/01/2021 18:10

If you don't already live together, it's a no brainer. Your partner can't afford it until they get a job.

If you already live together, then yes, you would need to pay more, practically speaking

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