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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to chuck this amazon delivery in the bin?

65 replies

Coffeesnob11 · 30/01/2021 18:03

I left my alcoholic abusive husband last year and he finally moved out the house in August so our son and I could return. I have a non molestation order against him and he can't contact me for any reason. All contact for our child is supervised by his parents and arranged via them (they are great). He doesn't live with them.
Since the non mol he is still ordering stuff and it gets delivered here. I always reject any parcels as I was advised apart from twice, where I have given it to his mum as it came back to me from royal mail 4 times. This week I have rejected 3 parcels but yesterday amazon delivered a parcel to my sick elderly neighbour as I wasn't in. I have 'chatted to their customer service team who say they can't take it back and can't do much. I have managed to open the side and it's 3 dvds. I can't use them as he took the ps that we watched dvds on. I really don't want to pass them on to his mum again as its letting him get away with continuing the same pattern. These were only ordered Thursday. He has had 5 months to change his address. Do I need to pay for another solicitors letter to tell him to stop? This seems an expensive option. His mum has mentioned it to him as she gets parcels too.
Aibu no chuck them
Aibu yes just pass them on.

OP posts:
RefuseTheLies · 30/01/2021 18:05

Chuck them. No hesitation.

Notimeforaname · 30/01/2021 18:06

Donate then. Or give them to someone rather than throwing them out.

KarmaNoMore · 30/01/2021 18:06

Is he going to contact you if you don’t pass them on?

Indecisive12 · 30/01/2021 18:06

Sell them?

Notimeforaname · 30/01/2021 18:06

But I agree dont keep handing him his stuff. Congratulations on getting away from him!!!

wowfudge · 30/01/2021 18:07

Imo he can't expect to receive anything he is having sent to the wrong address. Get a solicitor's letter sent to him. If you've got a non molestation order against him and he's still having things delivered to you in his name he's taking the piss.

notsosmoothie · 30/01/2021 18:07

In the bin.

In fact next time, ask the Amazon delivery person to pop it directly in your wheelie bin so you don't have to go to the effort of leaving the house.

Godimabitch · 30/01/2021 18:07

Why is he doing it? Just to annoy you? He's not getting the things he ordered so why else would he keep sending stuff?

chestnutSquash · 30/01/2021 18:07

Is there anywhere you can just leave them outside? Do you have to sign for them?

WeeDangerousSpike · 30/01/2021 18:08

Could you write 'not at this address' on them and stick them in a post box?

notsosmoothie · 30/01/2021 18:08

@Notimeforaname

Donate then. Or give them to someone rather than throwing them out.
Actually, @Notimeforaname has a good point here.

Maybe collect them all in a box and then donate anything appropriate to your nearest domestic violence support service for their refuges?

katy1213 · 30/01/2021 18:09

Chuck them.

chestnutSquash · 30/01/2021 18:09

I think this might be a breach of the non molestation order. You could report it to the police, saying that he is doing it to cause you anxiety.

NotFabulousDarling · 30/01/2021 18:14

Give them to a charity shop.

Wenolikeexplodeythings · 30/01/2021 18:14

Surely this counts as a form of contact? Could you try reporting it to the police as a breach of the order and see what they say?

AlCalavicci · 30/01/2021 18:17

I would get back in touch with your legal team and tell them what is going on .
To my mind he is still trying to instigate contact as he thinks that you will have to get in touch with him to give him the parcels.
And although I dont think he would have a leg to stand on , he may try to go down the @Coffeesnob11 is stealing from me by not giving me my packages

well done for getting away from him, don't let him suck you back in , in any way shape or form

Original poster
Coffeesnob11 · 30/01/2021 18:25

This is an amazon delivery so I assume i can't put it back in the postbox and my elderly neighbour took it in the day he returned from hospital for heart issues so I couldn't say anything to him.
Most deliveries I reject as I am here but I was doing our weekly shop so didn't hear the ring doorbell on my phone.
I have mentioned it in an email to my solicitor and will se what she says.
I can't work out if its because he is so pissed when he orders stuff or he does it as a form of contact/control. Either way I don't care. He isn't working so it's not like he doesn't have time to sort it.

OP posts:
CakeRequired · 30/01/2021 18:59

I'd be selling them or giving them away.

Tal45 · 30/01/2021 19:23

I would write not at this address and put it back in the post box, what happens to it after that doesn't matter.

GameSetMatch · 30/01/2021 19:23

Charity shop them, may as well do something good with them.

CharlotteRose90 · 30/01/2021 19:25

Honestly I would write return to send on the package and if it fits in a post box put it in there. If not I’d bin in

Propagandalf · 30/01/2021 19:52

Chuck them, because they are DVDs.

People nowadays should be using 4K, or blu-rays at the very minimum!

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 30/01/2021 19:57

Can you chat to Amazon again like "I think someone maybe has a fraudulent account as items keep arriving at my address but there's noone of that name living here."

I'm not sure if that would work but they would be able to find the account from the postcode etc and possibly put some sort of block on it. Worth a try anyway.

Well done for leaving, I would assume he is doing it to be annoying otherwise he would have updated the address after the first parcel.

Hankunamatata · 30/01/2021 20:00

Where does it leave your elderly neighbour if he reports parcel missing?

Ileflottante · 30/01/2021 20:12

@AlCalavicci

I would get back in touch with your legal team and tell them what is going on . To my mind he is still trying to instigate contact as he thinks that you will have to get in touch with him to give him the parcels. And although I dont think he would have a leg to stand on , he may try to go down the *@Coffeesnob11* is stealing from me by not giving me my packages

well done for getting away from him, don't let him suck you back in , in any way shape or form

I thought this too.
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