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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to chuck this amazon delivery in the bin?

65 replies

Coffeesnob11 · 30/01/2021 18:03

I left my alcoholic abusive husband last year and he finally moved out the house in August so our son and I could return. I have a non molestation order against him and he can't contact me for any reason. All contact for our child is supervised by his parents and arranged via them (they are great). He doesn't live with them.
Since the non mol he is still ordering stuff and it gets delivered here. I always reject any parcels as I was advised apart from twice, where I have given it to his mum as it came back to me from royal mail 4 times. This week I have rejected 3 parcels but yesterday amazon delivered a parcel to my sick elderly neighbour as I wasn't in. I have 'chatted to their customer service team who say they can't take it back and can't do much. I have managed to open the side and it's 3 dvds. I can't use them as he took the ps that we watched dvds on. I really don't want to pass them on to his mum again as its letting him get away with continuing the same pattern. These were only ordered Thursday. He has had 5 months to change his address. Do I need to pay for another solicitors letter to tell him to stop? This seems an expensive option. His mum has mentioned it to him as she gets parcels too.
Aibu no chuck them
Aibu yes just pass them on.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 30/01/2021 20:13

Tell him it’s at the neighbours and to stop having things delivered

Then speak to Amazon and see if they can delete your address

C152 · 30/01/2021 20:13

Chuck them.

GemmeFatale · 30/01/2021 20:16

I think if you contact Amazon with details of the non molestation order they should be able to block his account from sending orders to your address.

toocold54 · 30/01/2021 20:21

Don’t Chuck them, either se them or wait until you can get a cheap ps/dvd player and watch them on that.

He is sending them so he still has some form of contact but I’d play him at his own game and just keep/sell everything he has delivered. He’ll soon get the message.

orangenasturtium · 30/01/2021 20:25

@Hankunamatata

Where does it leave your elderly neighbour if he reports parcel missing?
This.

I think you have to pass it on to his DM this time otherwise you are going to cause issues for your neighbour if they signed for it.

TheCanyon · 30/01/2021 20:29

Do you know his Amazon password? May as well order yourself a DVD player or ps.... Or delete your address

TheCanyon · 30/01/2021 20:29

Or keep all the parcels and set up a weekly/monthly burn pile and send him proof

AndAPartridgeInABearTree · 30/01/2021 20:30

It does feel like a breach of the order. And Amazon might be able to block his account from ordering to yours if you explain the order. It's harassment.

sapnupuas · 30/01/2021 20:31

What DVDs were they?

SirGawain · 30/01/2021 20:55

People nowadays should be using 4K, or blu-rays at the very minimum!

Why should people be using these, have I missed some new legislation? Have they been banned due to Brexit or the risk of spreading COVID?

Cleverpolly3 · 30/01/2021 21:00

@chestnutSquash

I think this might be a breach of the non molestation order. You could report it to the police, saying that he is doing it to cause you anxiety.
This It is
LouiseTrees · 30/01/2021 21:35

Give them to his mum but broken. He’ll get the message.

slashlover · 30/01/2021 22:05

Can you put a sign on your door? "John Doe is not known at this address. Please do not deliver parcels here for that name."

Original poster
Coffeesnob11 · 30/01/2021 22:35

They were 3 films with the same actress in all of them. I would class at least 2 as chick flicks.
I have the parcel from my neighbour now. I will contact amazon again on Monday to see if I get any more sense from a different agent/bot.
Also hopefully my solicitor will come back to me too. Its just stress I could do without

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 30/01/2021 22:43

What actress? Maybe that’s part of the message he’s trying to send.

Purplealienpuke · 30/01/2021 22:57

Definitely leave a note in large writing on your door that you don't accept parcels for Mr Knobhead.
See if he is in breach of the non molestation order.
He is trying to wind you up.
He clearly has money to waste....
Congratulations on your new life 💐💐💐

2020iscancelled · 30/01/2021 23:00

I would literally disengage from this. It’s all a mind game.

Imagine it like it’s actually packages for someone who lived in the house before you. Just an annoying inconvenience but takes no space in your head.

If you’re in then simply turn the package away “sorry no not at this address” and if for whatever reason it does get delivered (to neighbour etc) then throw the package in a box / bag somewhere out of sight. When you can be bothered then check on the contents and donate appropriately.

See what your solicitor says, it could well be breach of the order. It might mean you have to pay for a letter but that would hopefully resolve it - unless he wants a visit from the police.

Honestly, disengagement is the way forward. Don’t give him the satisfaction of thinking about it for more than 30 seconds to Chuck the box in a bin

SadderThanEeyore · 30/01/2021 23:03

Put his address on it and put it in the post box. He will have to pay to get it then. Make sure you block out your own address so they return it to amazon or bin it if he doesn't pay for it.

NoKingDingaLingTitsInAbsentia · 30/01/2021 23:08

@Wenolikeexplodeythings

Surely this counts as a form of contact? Could you try reporting it to the police as a breach of the order and see what they say?
I'm with this too. I mean surely it only takes one parcel not coming to the right address for you to correct your amazon account details?
Lolalovesroses · 30/01/2021 23:12

Amazon should not be delivering parcels to neighbours addresses in lockdown. I'd complain to their customer services team.

Viviennemary · 30/01/2021 23:14

Contact amazon. I don't think you should just bin them.

Gilead · 30/01/2021 23:50

It’s harassment, therefore he’s breaking the order. You could ring 101 and ask if they could point it out to him if you don’t actually want him arrested.

QuestionableMouse · 30/01/2021 23:58

It seems wasteful just to throw them out. I'd find somewhere to donate them.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/01/2021 00:38

I would absolutely report this to the police. Your husband is doing this to get to you in whatever way he can. It's deliberate and it's harassment. Don't allow him to get away with this shit.

DdraigGoch · 31/01/2021 01:51

@notsosmoothie

In the bin.

In fact next time, ask the Amazon delivery person to pop it directly in your wheelie bin so you don't have to go to the effort of leaving the house.

If it's Hermes, they probably were anyway.