How would you react if a family member or a friend chose not to have the vaccine?

[Laiste]

Is this going to divide people and friendships?

(i know it's a minority who wont have it, but still ... how do you feel?)

My DM refused to have the vaccine, my DStepDad desparately wanted it. They both died in their care home a couple of weeks ago before they got it. I had huge arguments with my DM about it, but her choice I suppose.

OP here. This is an absolutely fascinating thread. Thank you. Everyone is being very honest without it being a bun fight. I was concerned there would just be a couple of ''it's none of your business'' answers and that would be it. Please lets continue.

epythymy Sat 30-Jan-21 20:41:53

How would you feel if a friend of family member chose to do as they wished with their own body, OP? Are you a pro lifer as well? I would mind my own business because I make decisions about my own body, nobody else's

I have purposely kept which 'side' of this i personally am out of it as i wanted posters to answer without feeling they are arguing or agreeing with me specifically. I don't want a big argument i genuinely want to hear people's true thoughts. Such an aggressive response from epythymy assuming i'm a pro lifer ''as well''

I'm wondering now if anyone who is undecided, or has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?

will have it or already have had it.

too many have's back there!

Their reason behind it would depend upon how harshly I would judge them (eg pregnant or ttc then I could understand, but believing Bill Gates is going to control them via a microchip and my eyes couldn’t roll further) but ultimately it is up to them although those without a valid reason are people I would think are selfish and it probably would change how I viewed them in future. However, I do strongly support the right to accept or decline medication so would accept their decision.

I wouldn’t judge anyone. It is none of my business.

No one’s business if they are vaccinated or not.

Depends - if the reason was ridiculous eg) the virus isn’t real - then yes. Double yes if their lifestyle is poor.

Genuine concerns over their age or severe allergies - of course not.

Difficult to say though - there doesn’t appear to be the space for people to discuss their worries without being shouted down...

if you don't let the virus in through the holes in your face (eyes, nose mouth) the odds of you catching the virus are practically zero

Yes, but....

We touch our faces on average 20 times in an hour. They did studies on people asking them not to touch their faces and they monitored them. They came out of the studies saying they hadn't touched their faces. . But they had.
It's really hard not to.

I would respect their decision and not judge them for it. I would slap down anybody else who did attempt to push their opinion on my friend/family member.

Nobody's business but their own.

I'm wondering now if anyone who is undecided, or has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?

I won't be vaccinated but certainly won't be lying about it. There's definitely only a very small number of people I would give my reasons to (if asked) - the majority will simply be told 'because I choose not to'.

has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?

A) Why on earth would someone refuse the vaccine? Unless there were specific allergies or contra-indications from their regular medical GP, I would unashamedly judge a member of my family or friend for refusing the C-19 vaccine. The vaccine will only give us freedom if we all take responsibility for maintaining community health.

B) If that family member or friend lied about it to me, I would distance myself - quite literally - and also emotionally, for some time.

@Roussette

if you don't let the virus in through the holes in your face (eyes, nose mouth) the odds of you catching the virus are practically zero

Yes, but....

We touch our faces on average 20 times in an hour. They did studies on people asking them not to touch their faces and they monitored them. They came out of the studies saying they hadn't touched their faces. . But they had.
It's really hard not to.

Touching your face does not insert the virus into the holes in your face. Wearing an appropriate mask prevents you touching the area around your nose and mouth. Washing your hands and then your face when you come in from outside removes the virus from your hands and then your face.

I do realise that it is much more difficult to control what children do, and once a child is infected you have no way of controlling spread in the home, but you do get to control where your children go, who they are exposed to, and what environments they meet others in.

That is one of the reasons I don't understand why parents are eager to get their kids mixing with the children of key workers. Let's face it, if you could pick any child with the highest risk possible of coming into contact and then carrying covid to your child, it would be the child of a key worker on a covid ward.

And I am staggered at how few NHS workers understand the difference between a surgical mask and a respirator, how to put them on, how to wear them and what the differences are between FFP1, FFP3 and tissue paper. I thought they had training courses for these things? I'm guessing not.

@BamboozledandBefuddled

I'm wondering now if anyone who is undecided, or has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?

I won't be vaccinated but certainly won't be lying about it. There's definitely only a very small number of people I would give my reasons to (if asked) - the majority will simply be told 'because I choose not to'.

I would and do respect your decision. I dithered about it myself. I'm having my jab on Wednesday. I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it because my husband (who's not yet eligible for the jab but I think ought to be), catches everything going so if the jab protects me to an extent, it will protect him.

It really is nobody else's business what anybody chooses to do. Luckily, I don't come across people in RL who are anything like the blow-hard posters here.

I'm wondering now if anyone who is undecided, or has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?
Well, that would make them hypocrites, but I guess they can handle going through life as hypocrites and teaching those values to their children, then they are doing more damage to their children's education than missing a few years of school ever can. That sort of character trait lasts a lifetime.

I'd report them to the police.
Oust them from the family.
They would never darken my door again.

Or.

I wouldn't give a shiny shit what they chose to do. I wouldn't even expect a conversation about it to be honest.

"Touching your face does not insert the virus into the holes in your face. Wearing an appropriate mask prevents you touching the area around your nose and mouth. Washing your hands and then your face when you come in from outside removes the virus from your hands and then your face."

But it does as the places we touch are our lips nose and eyes.

I'm actually surprised the bitter nail varnish sales didn't go through the roof as everyone realised that biting your fingernails is now an actual danger

@QueenoftheAir

has already decided they definitely will not have the vaccine feel they will lie if asked and say that they will have it or that they have already have had it to avoid confrontation or bad feeling?

A) Why on earth would someone refuse the vaccine? Unless there were specific allergies or contra-indications from their regular medical GP, I would unashamedly judge a member of my family or friend for refusing the C-19 vaccine. The vaccine will only give us freedom if we all take responsibility for maintaining community health.

B) If that family member or friend lied about it to me, I would distance myself - quite literally - and also emotionally, for some time.

A) Maybe because you are expecting people to take it on faith that what you believe is true, when your doctor is obliged to tell you exactly what his employer requires him to tell you in order to keep his job, the company making the jab has been handed complete immunity from prosecution for anything that might happen, the medical profession are ignoring the manufacturers stipulations on how to administer the vaccine, and ignoring the protocols and methods that all the test data has been based upon, everyone except you has a financial incentive to make sure you take it, and unlike other vaccines for say Polio or TB, there is no proven track record of safety or efficacy. I'm happy to take it, but I am not happy with judging people who do not.

@Sinful8

"Touching your face does not insert the virus into the holes in your face. Wearing an appropriate mask prevents you touching the area around your nose and mouth. Washing your hands and then your face when you come in from outside removes the virus from your hands and then your face."

But it does as the places we touch are our lips nose and eyes.

Well, if they are stupid enough to not be wearing a mask and touching their faces, there really isn't much you can do to help these people.

Every single person in this country now knows the methods of infection and how to avoid them. If they cannot be bothered with simple things like wearing a mask, who cares? They get what they get. Just say away from idiots.

It really is none of my business. I have no interest whatsoever in who is and isn't getting vaccinated.

I'm not having the vaccine. My friends and family can make of that what they will.

@Sinful8

I'm actually surprised the bitter nail varnish sales didn't go through the roof as everyone realised that biting your fingernails is now an actual danger

How many people bite their nails? Isn't that something kids grow out of by 8yo? Never heard of an adult doing it. But once again, you cant do it through gloves, and most people have soap and wash their hands by now I would hope.

@HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst

I'm absolutely flabbergasted that so many people are considering having it when they're not at risk. Utterly bizarre. I won't be asking anyone if they've had it or not as I couldn't care less, but I absolutely won't be having it.

I'm not at risk for flu but I get that jab, too, every year. Same thing.

@HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst

I'm absolutely flabbergasted that so many people are considering having it when they're not at risk. Utterly bizarre. I won't be asking anyone if they've had it or not as I couldn't care less, but I absolutely won't be having it.

Because if those not at risk don’t have it, the virus won’t become controlled and will mutate so that the vaccines aren’t as effective. It means living a life of lockdowns or restrictions for years or forever for some people. Unless the vast majority have it, the virus will endlessly circulate.

Unfortunately you don’t need to be in the at risk category to have severe covid, long covid or silent covid. Even mild covid is unpleasant for a lot of people and asymptomatic covid doesn’t rule out organ damage you are unaware of.

If someone else decides not to have the vaccine then they’re the ones putting themselves at risk, I’ll be having it so they’re not a risk to me and I don’t care what they do.

But I don’t think they should then demand special treatment e.g. my DP works with a woman who has been shielding. Interestingly enough no-one knows which illness she has as she’s constantly off sick with one thing or another and her illness always seems to coincide with the school holidays. I don’t doubt she has some health problem but she does so little at work and is off sick so regularly that the team have lost patience.

Anyway, she’s now shielding and is refusing to do any work from home while she is. But she’s openly said she will refuse to have the vaccine because in her words, she doesn’t need the vaccine, she has God.
. In that instance I don’t think she should be allowed to continue to shield as she has chosen to put herself at risk.