To wish he would give ‘Its a Sin’ a chance?

[charlie6186]

My ex picked up the kids tonight and mentioned that everyone at his work is raving about the show ‘It’s a Sin’.
I said I had watched it and was completely hooked- I fell in love with the characters and felt so many emotions throughout the series. Being born in the early eighties, I was aware of the pandemic growing up but it was completely above my head. Watching it made me open my eyes to how scary life must have been for people who lived through it and were at risk. I told him that I think it’s an amazing piece of television and he should give it a chance.
To be met with the response of: “I don’t want to see blokes at it. I’m not a batty boy.”
Other than the obvious annoyance of his use of insulting terminology, I’m a bit peeved that he hasn’t noticed that the world has a different outlook nowadays and acceptance and equality is a great thing.
Anyone else know of a bloke who is being stubborn/embarrassed to watch? I feel like he is missing out in a real chance to witness a really moving and much needed story but being held back by his own prejudices (possible embarrassment) to see past the end of his nose.

I loved it my Dh doesn't want to watch it but we don't share the same taste in TV 🤷

I loved the show, watched episode one last week then the rest last night. However, I know my husband's taste in shows and this isn't for him. He wouldn't use those homophobic slurs but I know he wouldn't enjoy the show.

He watches so much that I don't like it and many shows I just don't bother even trying as I know I won't like them.

@Snoozysnoozy

I'm sorry, have I stumbled into 1985

Well it's not an airborne virus is it? You don't sneeze and pass it on as far as I'm aware. So transmission is mostly via unprotected sex.

At the time the programme is set it wasn't widely known how this new disease was transmitted. As for the programme I can't get over seeing the London skyline above Bolton Civic Centre!

Ah toxic masculinity, insecurity and low self esteem all rolled up to make a homophobic arsehole.

Luckily he’s an ex.

Hopefully your children have a much more empathetic, balanced and non bigoted view of the world!

Based on what you know about him, it's no particularly surprising that he didn't want to watch it, and it's a waste of time and energy to wish he'd watch something that clearly isn't for him.

There's nothing you can "do" about him. He's an adult, and you're no longer even married. You believe you've raised your children well enough through your own efforts, so... That's it, really. I'd try to stop caring about what he watches, how he feels about homosexuality, etc.

(You don't have to be a homophobic male "of a certain age" to not be interested in watching portrayals of gay sex. I don't particularly care for it, myself. For that matter, the same goes for many portrayals of heterosexual sex, especially when there's so much that it becomes tedious. It's often shoe-horned in where it's not needed, and a more subtle approach would be more effective.)

The sex bored me wasn’t going to bother after first episode but last night was better more about them and I felt for Colin and those dreadful parents who burnt everything after their son had died sorry can’t think of his name at the moment.

My DH watched it and thought it was amazing. Shed a tear at the end too.

Slightly off topic, but back in the 80’s, it must have been horrible to be gay but being desperate to hide it. Thinking about the likes of Kenny Everett, Freddy Mercury, George Michael et al. Really sad to feel that you have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Dangerous too, when HIV first flared up.

There are some people who seem to think that watching a drama built around gay characters that features some sex is essentially the equivalent of watching gay porn. I notice no one ever wonders what it must be like for gay people seeing straight sex in countless mainstream dramas and films. I bet the OP’s ex would find it pretty weird if a gay man never watched a Hollywood film because he might see a simulated version of sex he doesn’t take part in personally.

How long is an episode of It’s a Sin, would you say? By my reckoning it’s about 50 minutes if you take out the breaks. Even if five solid minutes of that was sex (and it didn’t seem like anywhere near that to me), that still means 90% of the programme is non-sexual.

I dislike what he said. No to homophobia. But I also can't stand when people tell me what I should watch. It used to annoy me when my ex banged on about programmes I should watch, then got huffy if I chose not to. As if he's the boss of me and my interests.

I'm in my 50s now so remember the 'Its A Sin' era very well. I remember Insurance forms asked if you'd had an Aids test - many of us were scared to tick 'Yes' lest premiums go through the roof. So many things. & When Freddy Mercury died, some of the newspaper obituaries were horrible - basically saying he was promiscuous, gay and a bad example so it served him right.

I still don't particularly want to watch 'It's A Sin' though.

I bet your ex couldn't care less what you do or don't watch.

Is sex ever realistically portrayed on tv or on film though? Don’t get me wrong-it’s fun- but I’m sure I don’t look perfectly made up with perfect hair and just the right sexy faces and noises etc.

He's a homophobic that but nothing worse than being nagged to watch something that does not appeal to you.

Why would you come and tell us that your idiot, homophobic ex said a really homophobic thing?

Why are you surprised that your idiot, homophobic ex said a really homophobic thing?

What kind of response from us do you want about your idiot, homophobic ex who said a really homophobic thing?

BTW anyone who uses the phrase “batty boy” definitely DOES have “a problem with the gay community. But I suspect you know that,.

@JustAnotherOldMan

What does it matter to you what your Ex watches, I’m sure there will be things he watches that you don’t like

Because I'd worry if a homophobic dickhead was co-parenting my children.

It's the reasons and the slurs he came out with, obviously, not just choosing not to watch an 80s drama because he prefers sci-fi.

A good reason he's an ex, OP - and you sound like you've done a tremendous job raising your kids away from his influence. I assume none of them hold homophobic views or use casual homophobia - in which case, great job. In your position I'd talk about the programme with them and make a disparaging comment about homophobes and people who use those slurs (not naming your ex specifically, of course - but I'd want to convey just how unacceptable it was to my DC).

It's a fantastic show FWIW, and an important story to tell.

Can’t see why you care what he watches, he’s not your partner anymore.

Well he sounds like an arse but I guess you knew that already and were aware of his attitude (or at least could have guessed it) so you'd have been better to say something along the lines of ah yes I've watched it and loved it. No point giving yourself the frustration of getting in to deep set attitudes and trying to change them. I don't plan to watch it either fwiw.