Housing officer rang social services on me..aibu to think it was out of order?

[beenkeen]

My mum was 65 when she was diagnosed with dementia.
By the time she was 70 it was advanced.
I became her carer and looked after her.
I moved in with her.
She lived in a council property (the same one for over 30 years).
I was her appointee so dealt with her finances and also her appointee with the council so they could deal with me.
My mum had vascular dementia.
She had hallucinations (both visual and heard voices) she only liked me in the house with her.
Then in walks a new housing officer,she rang me and said she wanted to come and meet my mum.
I explained her dementia and she said "oh don't worry I won't stay long"
I said I don't feel comfortable with this as it will upset my mum, can I come into the office and we can chat like that ..she agreed and went to meet her and explained.
She said she understood and no problem.
Two weeks later she rang saying "Clive" had to visit us to conduct a property survey.
I said "ok but can you please explain about the dementia to Clive "
She said yes ..
Day of apt arrived
I obviously expected Clive
Opened the door
It was her,with a social worker and a police officer.
She made the survey apt up to gain access.
She looked in every room and told me she rang social services as "I seemed stressed and she wasn't sure if living in this property was best for my mum anymore "
And said ..maybe assisted living or a care home.
I was so angry
She didn't know me
She didn't know my mum
I was stressed and upset enough
Anyway my mum has now passed away
This was last year but honestly I'm still so angry
Aibu here or was this out of order ?

Hate to say it but i suspect you said something in the conversation with the housing officer that raised a red flag with her and she felt a safeguarding referral/welfares check was justified. Or in the process of doing her job someone else had said something that meant she felt someone needed to see your mum.

She was wrong and underhand

But she felt she was doing her best to protect a vulnerable person.

@Basecamp65 I don't think so.
There were no red flags to raise.
I said she has vascular dementia
You popping in to say hello is unnecessary as she would have no idea about the situation.
I am her appointee with the council so would you be able to deal with me.

There was no issues with rent,no noise
Nothing
I don't think it's a legal requirement to just "pop" in and see a tenant if there are no issues.

I think you should make a complaint as you're still obviously so upset. I'd query their information sharing protocol and ask for all correspondence sent by the housing officer.
Many others believe she was justified and if that's the case the housing office will be more than capable of explaining why they behaved as they did. A complaint will help you to move on.

What sort of property did you mother have ? Was it a nice 3 bedroomed semi by any chance ?

I’m sorry you lost your mum and I’m sorry you are so upset.

I think it would be worth raising her approach with the council as you’re clearly upset about the way she went about it.

I do think you’re expecting too much that they would ring to offer condolences when your mum died.

jumperjet - I think I know where you are going ! Get tenant with dementia admitted to care home and releases house despite it being her home for years and she is well looked after by daughter.

I'm sorry for the distress this has obviously caused you. But I am afraid you are wrong. Your Housing Officer had a duty of care, in respect of the property AND a safeguarding duty towards your mother. That's the law. She would not have had access to hospital records, social work records, or anything else. What she did know is that an elderly and vulnerable person lived in a property, she hadn't seen her, and when asked the person living with her was evasive and refused to let her see the person, or to visit the property.

I am afraid that it is tragic, but in this day and age, elderly vulnerable people are abused - financially, physically and mentally. You might not think that there were any red flags, but honestly, from your own description here I can see lots of them! She was doing her best to ensure that your mother was definitely safe and well; and I am glad that she did, even though that upset you. If you truly realised how many abused elderly people are never spotted, you would be glad that she cared enough too.

When things go wrong - whether with old folk or children, the tabloids are always screaming blue murder about how people slipped through the cracks, and why did absolutely nobody notice, and all these "officials" should be sacked for letting it happen. But when they actually do do something, they get criticised for interfering. They can't win. But I would rather they interfered in 100 homes where nothing untoward is happening than the ignored a red flag, and some old person dies abused, starved and stripped of their money and dignity.

It's difficult to call, but housing officers have to deal with all sorts of issues that the majority of us thankfully never see. You could have been pretending she existed when she died some time ago to remain in her flat for example.

YABU to expect them to phone to offer condolences after she passed though. Placing my late DM (also vascular dementia) in a home turned out to be the best thing we could have done for her, although we did it with a heavy heart at the time...

I work in housing and work along side housing officers. What she did was wrong and she should have discussed her concerns with you and the fact she would be contacting social services before hand. She also shouldn't have lied to gain access to your Mum's property. I'm really surprised she got away with this, it sounds very unprofessional. The only way I could see her doing something like this is if she had numerous 'concerning' experiences with you and/or your Mum and you were making things difficult for them to assess your Mum.

I know little about the role of housing officers, but as someone who spent 18 months trying and failing to get various Health & Social Care professionals to take my mums declining mental health and loss of ability to care for herself seriously, (& I'm a HCP myself, so far from clueless), I am somewhat bemused by the suggestion that a housing officer is required to assess all council tenants with dementia.

As PP have mentioned, it was not unreasonable for her to have concerns about a tenant whose relative "appeared" to be blocking access to her. The correct thing to do though would have been to have contacted your Mum's existing social worker and asked them to check things out.

I'm sorry this happened to you and your Mum and I don't think it was right. From here, looking back on this, what would help you now?

Complaining is an option, but one that could cause you further stress and while I wouldn't want to put you off, I wonder if it would help you?

You sound like you were a wonderful caring daughter and advocate for your mum and you must miss her terribly. Whatever you decide to do, put yourself first.

With most social services referrals the professional making the referral should inform the person that they had made the referral. Due to your mum lacking capacity she wouldn't have been able to consent to a referral being made; but best practice would be the officer had told you both.
As your mum was not in immediate risk of harm there's no real reason why they couldn't have told you

From what you have said, the officer was being over cautious (which IMO is probably better) or cynically they wanted the house back.

Regards, your only real option is to make a formal complaint via the council/housing association

If you already had a social worker I think she was hoping to boot your mum out. Bottom line.

Were you living with your mum? Did they have you down as a household member on the tenancy?

I think as other people have said, not wanting the housing officer to visit the home raised a red flag. Most social housing providers and councils will do a tenancy audit or property condition survey every few years (2 to 5) which allows them to ensure that the property is being kept in a good condition and that people aren’t living in the property who shouldn’t have been - making it overcrowded or another breach of the tenancy conditions.

I think she went about it in the wrong way, but again as others have said she has a safeguarding duty and (perhaps over zealously) needed to ensure your mum was getting the appropriate care and support.

If it wasn’t known you were a household member, she may have thought your mum lived alone and could be a risk to herself or others (think fire and neighbouring property) when you weren’t there.

The cynic in me also says that if your mum had a secure tenancy (which so many of the older council ones are) there is a statutory right to succession if you could prove you were living there for a certain length of time. If that was the case you would have a right to take over the tenancy!

Also. I’m sorry about your mum

It's strange that a council would have a social worker and a housing officer duplicating roles - what would be the point and besides, they're supposed to be strapped for cash and people and all that, eh? I suspect she was looking for prospective properties for waiting tenants and though there might be an opportunity there. Her way of going about things seems wrong.
I am sorry about the loss of your mother and what you have been through. We had concerns about my mother's treatment by officialdom, in this case a doctor- she also had dementia and we looked after her at home - and those things are very upsetting. We did question the doctor about it but didn't pursue an official complaint.

Typo: thought

That is disgusting behaviour and you should most definitely make a complaint! She could have just explained to you that she needed to see your mother and her home and explained the reason why!

It just upset me as when I went to see her in the office I explained how close me and my mum are and that as an only child I couldn't face loosing her,how I wanted to keep her at home until I could no longer manage..she said I totally understand.
Then phoned social services
Obviously hoping they would come out ,deem it unfit for my mum to live at home and she would get the house back as she wanted.

OP i agree that's probably what it was, she wanted her out of the house. I understand safeguarding as i work in a job that requires me to have knowledge of it, but the sheer speed with which people rush to involve the state in their own and even worse other peoples lives actually frightens me! She ought to be throughly ashamed of the way she went about this and I believe that you making a complaint would make her think twice before she ever does it again. As if you were not already under enough stress caring for your mother, she only added to it.

@beenkeen

Then when my mum died nobody contacted me. The social worker didn't ring or the housing officer.

With respect, unless your mother had an allocated social worker at the time she passed, iwbu to expect a condolence call. The one you met would have been a duty worker on the day. There are hundreds of older people not known or only known in the past to every social work team who may then die. If the team was even told ( and surprisingly often they aren't) they would have to spend most of every day making condolence calls.

@wewillmeetagain

Actually it's vanishingly unlikely but hey, let's assume the worst of public officials because that's so helpful. And I suggest your knowledge of safeguarding is not as strong as you think it is.

I think that you’re focusing you attention on the wrong thing/something that us no longer relevant.

You should be focusing on recovering from your grief.

It's just a situation that really upset me and didn't think it was handled correctly but it's done now so I think I need to move on

@toconclude you have no idea what I know or what job i do!!! Was there a reason she couldn't have just explained to OP that she needed to see her mother and do an assessment of the house? From OPs description there was absolutely no need for the heavy handed tactics she used!

I wasn't even aware it was a legal requirement for a housing officer to meet with tenants considering she was the first one to even ask.

I am in council housing and I’ve had the housing officer out a few times it’s really annoying as it feels like they’re accusing you of something but it is routine and now I’ve lived here a while I don’t hear much from them.

That is the trouble with rented accommodation you have to let the landlords/housing officers in - my sister is in private rent and the landlords always there!

My mum is going through a similar situation with my gran so I know how stressful it is. My only advice would be to not be too defensive with the social workers, housing officer etc as then they can be more of a pain